Here's to you Mr. No-Defense-Milwaukee-Buck

(Take on the Budweiser ads)

Mr. No-Defense-Milwaukee-Buck

You don't bother with tiring yourself out on the defensive end, after all, you think defense doesn't win championships.

Never heard of the Spurs or Pistons

You think that the matador defense is the best thing since sliced bread

Pass the salami

Fouling is an acceptable way to play defense, after all, standing around for the free throw gives you a better opportunity to get your face on TV.

Ready for my closeup Mr. Deville

Playoffs? They are just an inconvenience to your golf game.

Watch out Tiger Woods

After a hard day of letting people score on you, you go to the locker room and play the "real" game on your Playstation. After all, that's a better reality anyway.

50" screen plasma

So here's to you, Mr. No-Defense-Milwaukee-Buck, and remember, you can't spell defense without a dictionary

Mr. No-Defense-Milwaukee-Buck

Days of our Packers

Well, it's been a while with Packer stuff on the Oracle hasn't it? It's been fairly dead on the news part until the last week so wasn't much to write about. Plus, I've been in a bit of a funk since Stacy Kiebler inexplicably lost on Dancing With The Stars.

Ahman Green signed a one year deal with the Packers. Here's a quote from the article:

"The one-year, $2 million contract Green signed Monday includes a $500,000 signing bonus, which is the only guaranteed money... The contract also features $2.75 million of incentives. Green gets $250,000 if he rushes for 750 yards, another $500,000 if he reaches 950 yards, another $500,000 for 1,150 yards, another $500,000 for 1,350 yards and another $500,000 for 1,550 yards."

So, the Packers are only out 2M in cap should Green not be able to come back from his injury with any real capacity, and they are not tied to a long-term deal should this be the case. Now, if he puts up 1550 yards, the Pack will owe him 2.75M, and if that happens, I think everyone will be friggin' ecstatic as the Pack will have had a damn good season. Heck, if he is able to put up 950 yards, I'm happy. Not seeing-Stacy-Kiebler-on-TV happy, but happy nonetheless.

A rumor going around is that the Packers will sign S Marquand Manuel from Seattle to replace Mark Roman once FA starts. Not sure on this one as he was not even in the top 10 safeties available in FA and we are rumored to have a 5yr deal all but done. He is an upgrade over Roman, but then a grilled cheese sandwich is as well. MMMMM grilled cheeeeeese... Ahem, sorry about that. Suppose I should trust Thompson that he knows what he is doing on this one, given he's the GM and been in the NFL for a long time and I just write a silly blog with a cheese background.

My Weekend

I went back to visit the parental units back in WI and also see my brothers and sisters. My younger sister is having her first baby and so it was baby shower time. I was able to leave and go to Fred's bar and restaurant for hands down the best burgers around and introduce my son to properly made deep fried cheese curds, which he absolutely loved.

What's that you say, you think you're place makes better burgers? Juicy Lucy you call it? Please. These are half-pound, never frozen, fresh ground beef daily with phenominal seasoning burgers that kicks the snot of of anything around. Add to that that the cheese is not sliced crap you peel out of a wrapper from Kraft, no sirree Bob, this is liquid cheese that was lovingly made by WI cows. Now that that issue is taken care of, back to the story.

The low-light of the weekend was that I got a speeding ticket. Yes, my first one in over 8 years. One of those brain farts on my part where I just drove stupidly. Luckily for me and my wife, I did not extend this stupidity by being a smartass to the cop who pulled us over.

Of course the cop asks, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" and we all say "No, officer, I don't". Now, what the hell is the point of this question anyway? It's not like I'm going to suddenly have a breakdown and say "because I'm a drug dealer?" or "because I'm a crossdressing evil midnight bomber, the evil which bombs at midnight!" or even "because you really wanted my number?" (hey, it was a female cop and I am me, it's not totally ridiculous). Just say what's on your mind officer and let's get this whole show on the road here. Not like we're on game show and I get some great prize if I guess correctly like a years supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat. Crikey.

Needless to say, she did tell me that if I could drive back down there in 3 weeks for a mid-day court date on a Thursday. Really? I can take a day off, drive back 6 hours to this crap town to dispute some ticket, then drive back home another 6 hours? Thanks officer, really. So methinks I'll just mail in the money and be done with it.

I've decided to just take the advice that my good buddy Gabe has on the situation. Seeing how often I have speeded and not received a ticket, this one is simply my way of paying for the last 8 years of speeding. So looking at this that way, $15/yr to speed really isn't all that bad.

Week in Review

Let's take a look at the week in review of the news here in Minneapolis, on a fun tip.

NWA pilots authorized a strike this week and plan on delivering on this strike should NWA decide to impose a pay-cut or work rule changes. The airline filed for bankruptcy back on Sept 14 and is looking to cut back costs by over $1.4 billion from it's employees.

Wade Blaufuss, spokesman for the pilots union said "If NWA doesn't concede to our demands, we'll just take our planes and go home." After all, the strike worked so well for the mechanics union. I thought these pilots were supposed to be the "smart" ones with book-learnin' on their side?


Gay marriage is back on the agenda at the Capitol with an amendment looking to get pushed through that a marriage can only be between a man and a woman.

If this does not pass, supporters of the bill say they would want to then push a different bill through the legislature that would permit anyone to stone the same-sex couple. After all, isn't wholesale condemnation and hatred the Christian thing to do?



This week started the MN high school wrestling tournament. Or what the locals like to call "the contest of nearly anorexic young males trying to give eachother ringworm"






Carl Eller, a former member of the famed "Purple People Eaters" of the Vikings in the 70's was arrested for drunken driving this week. He was clocked at 97 mph on westbound 394. How drunk was he? When asked why he was going so fast, he stated that he was "trying to go back in time to stop Jim Marshall from running the wrong way with the fumble". Time for some coffee at the station Carl.

Welcome to the new look!

Hope you like the cheese background. I'll be tinkering with this some more, so I'm not fully done yet. Just seemed like the site needed a change. Let me know how you like it so far.

Newsflash! Bucks lose to good team!

In an amazingly shocking result, the Bucks lost to the Phoenix Suns last night 123-110. The Suns shot 103% from the field, helped by the Bucks becoming completely discombobulated and actually making some shots into their own basket for the Suns. Many in attendance were describing it "similar to that of a Harlem Globetrotter game". The crowd was roaring with laughter throughout at the ease at which the Suns scored.

MVP candidates Shawn Marion and Steve Nash combined for 52 points in about 12 minutes of play to lead the best team in the West. Nash was seen enjoying some ice cream while on the bench, it was reported to be mint chocolate chip.

The Bucks were led by Michael Redd's 37 pts, with Bogut chipping in 15 pts and 9 rbs. After the game, Redd and Mo Williams were wearing oxygen masks from trying to keep up with the constant sprinting offense of the Suns. Both were able to gasp out between breaths that it was all TJ Ford's fault that they lost, as he was not Steve Nash. Ford responded to the attacks by stepping on their oxygen lines and giving them purple nurples.

Bucks win on the road?

Against a team with a winning record? In one of the more impressive nights of the season, the Bucks did just that beating Denver 110-89. Big nights from Bogut (16pts on 8-10 shooting and 11 rebs) and Magloire (16 pts on 7-9 shooting and 10 rebs) along with Charlie Bell's 17 pts led the charge. Bell was even more impressive with his good defensive game against Carmelo. Of course, a day after I defend Ford, he puts up an 0-4 night with 8 assists. But then again, nobody comes here for insightful sports junk anyway.

Big ol' post

I haven't posted in quite some time as I have been out on a business trip, then home taking care of a sick wife and a 2.9 year old, so my computer time has been limited as of late. Well, let's do some recap:

The Trip
I had to go to the world-famous exotic city of Detroit for work on Tuesday and Wednesday. The flight there I was able to procure exit row seats as this is a must for 6'4" studs, such as myself. Lately when I have flown, I have had some wierd/funny stuff happen, like the time I almost joined the mile-high club with a Peruvian grandmother (inadvertantly of course), but that's a story for another time.

While we were waiting to take off, I noticed that there was a mechanic on the wing of the aircraft walking around. Not having seen this before, I felt it was necessary to know what he was doing. Turns out he was taping the plane. That's right, he was taping the plane. After about 5 minutes or so of this guy doing his best McGyver impression, the captain walks out of the cockpit and comes to the intercom system closeby to our seats and says:

"Ladies and gentlemen, those of you on the left hand side of the plane have noticed one of our mechanics on the wing taping the plane. That's not just ordinary tape he's using, that's heavy-duty tape. He is taping up a part of the wing to keep the moisture out, (pause) and to hold the wing on. Enjoy your flight."

At the very end, he was chuckling and had a huge grin on his face. I had to laugh as well as it truly was one of those great moments in airline travel. Needless to say, the wing stayed on for the duration of the flight.

On the way back to the airport in Detroit, the cabbie made a valiant attempt to convert me to Islam over the course of the 20 minute ride. Whenever I attempted to correct him on his Bible knowledge or disagree with him on a point, I was met with a resounding "Hallalalalalalaaaa" until I shut up and he would then resume talking. Have to admit, that was the most enjoyable cab ride I ever had.

The Badgers
Jekyll and Hyde continue to reign for this team. Beating OSU, then losing to NW? Then barely beating the Goophs at home? This team really does play to the level of it's competition. I feel that although the games will be close, they will lose their last 2 games to MSU and Iowa (both ranked teams) as they are both on the road, and this team really hasn't had a monster road win all season.

The Bucks
Crappy, crummy, piss-poor play by almost everyone on the team. Of course, if you listen to most people, it's solely TJ Ford's fault they are losing. They want to blame him for everything from the crappy lease Kohl is in at the Bradley Center to the hanging chads in FL during the last presidential election. I'm going to take one of the minority positions on this and defend Ford. The kid hustles his ass off, and given he's only got 2.5 seasons under his belt at this point and had a 1.5 year break separating those 2.5 years in half, let's not all rush to bury him. I fully admit that he's got to have better shot selection and average better than 6.4 assists/game, but this whole team is new to each other, and nobody expected them to win the title. He's learning and the team will be better because of him.

Bob Villa, I am not

Well, on February 11, I got a surround sound system for my abode. It's in the basement where the TV is, which makes the placement for the system rather appropriate. This weekend I decided that the sooner it was up, the better. I really wanted the wires hidden and given that the basement is finished with a regular ceiling (versus dropdown), I figured I was screwed.

Alas! My wife pointed out that the Time Life home improvement books I bought back in my college days may come in handy. A glimmer of hope came across my face as I bounded down the steps (narrowly missing the boy's toys) and opened up the book on electronics. Lo and behold it told you how to do it. Well, it was about doing it with cable, but the same principles apply. I gleefully ran back up the stairs, (narrowly missing the boy himself this time with said toys) and confidently showed my wife how it was done. All I needed to do was to cut some holes in the wall, and use fish tape to pull the wires through the walls and ceiling. Brilliant!

So I was cutting holes in the wall (I did check for studs first, but enough about me looking in the mirror) and making sure they all lined up and how I wanted this all to work. The boy came down and said "Wow, looks like an army had a battle here". Not the most encouraging thing I ever heard, but accurate. Anyway, turned out that the ceiling was, as my dad would say, "uniquely done", which means "what in the blue fuck were they thinking?" So I (or more accurately my wife, she loves this stuff) had to make larger holes in the wall so we could get at the fish tape to pull the wires through. After making sure the children were both upstairs and listening to music, the wife and I were free to cuss like gangsters whose drug shipment was busted by the feds while finishing the job.

The 2 rear speakers are all wired and the front right speaker is set, it is only the front left speaker that is remaining. The speaker wire that came with that is so pathetically short that Tattoo from Fantasy Island couldn't use it as a belt. So I have to get some additional wire to make that speaker workable, but the major stuff is out of the way. All that is left after that speaker is set up is to patch the holes so that kids don't think we are adding another closet for thier toys. Then I can enjoy the sounds of the TV the way they were meant to be enjoyed, with my ears ringing and bleeding.

Ahhh, the joys of parenthood

My son got an ear infection last night, so my wife and I were up from about midnight until 4:30am when he was able to sleep for longer than 10 - 15 minutes at a time. Needless to say, I'm too tired for any real posting today. A very odd night at the Cheesehead house, but like the title says, one of the joys of parenthood: sick kids.

Well I'll be...

The Badgers continue to remain Dr. Jekyll with their impressive come from behind win 78-73 over #12 Ohio State. Alando Tucker led the charge with 27 pts and 16 rebounds and also delivered a baby, busted a meth lab, and built some low-income housing last night. The man was all over the place. Butch also continued his good play with a 17 pt performance himself. Gee, think he caught the message when he was benched? Ex-presidents Nixon and Taylor had solid nights contributing 13 and 12 pts respectively. This win marks the 2nd win over a top 25 team over the last 3 games. The Badgers get a well-deserved week off until their next game at Northwestern on the 23rd. They are proving my prediction of no NCAA tourney wrong and I'm very thankful for that.

The Bucks lost at Indiana last night 77-88 in a case of bad road team meets hot home team. The Bucks enter the All-Star break with 27-25 record which can only be viewed as surprising. Their defense has picked up lately and that will lead to more wins. Mo Williams will be back after the break and the Bucks have a favorable schedule as well. Things are looking up.

Home Lovin'

No, I'm not talking about my Valentine's Day evening with my wife (this is not that kind of blog). I'm talking about the Bucks win last night over the Sonics 106-91, making them winners of their last 6 home games. This also marks the 10th straight game of holding opponents under 94 points, which is a franchise record. Dear goodness, could this team actually be coming together? This win was all about the bench coming through huge, especially Joe Smith (18 pts in 19 min on 7-11 shooting), Gadzuric (10 pts in 18 min on 5-6 shooting) and Charlie Bell (8 assists in subbing for Ford who got hurt during the game). Contributions like that are wonderful to see from this squad and keep giving me hope that they could win their first round playoff matchup. One of the big stats was that the Bucks got 32 points off of 22 Seattle turnovers. That's huge, I mean like the-size-of-the-rose-bouquet-I-got-for-my-wife huge. Everybody scored last night, including the Bucks. **Rim Shot** Thank you very much, you're a great crowd! Try the veal!

Huge props (and Bucks stuff)

I got to give some props. I am very proud of my wife. On Saturday she went to our church for about 4 hours and helped package meals to be shipped to Africa. Our church almost tripled it's goal for how many meals they packed. The turnout to help was huge. Even my 5 year old helped out for 2 hours. Over 150,000 meals were packaged over the weekend. That means that over 400 kids, who are on the verge of starvation, can have a meal every day for the next year. That is phenominal. Great job Rachel and Adam!

The Bucks lost at New Jersey yesterday 79-94 in a listless effort. With the Bucks having a quick turnaround after Saturday night's game going to play against the Nets who had won 12 of their last 13 home games, nobody expected a win. Thanks to the snow storm, the game was played in front of about 5,000 people. Not much to talk about with this one.

Double Vision

Hey hey, lookie lookie, both the Bucks and Badgers win yesterday!

The Bucks won their 5th home game in a row by beating the Charlotte Bobcats 99-93. It was a solid overall team effort with virtually everyone who played had a meaningful contribution. They did a great job in wiping out a 9 point defecit in the 3rd quarter. The Bucks have also played some very good defense over the last 8 games, only allowing opponents to score over 90 points twice (with the Bucks going 5-3 over that span).

As much flack as TJ Ford has received about his shooting, he's doing more for this team overall than the snubbed All-Star Redd is over the last 6 games that these guys have played together with Mo Williams out, thus putting more pressure on them to perform. Here's the stats they have:

Player	Shots (FG%)	Pts	Reb	Assists	TO
Ford	34-85 (40.0%)	13.5	5.3	7.67	3.5
Redd	46-127 (36.2%)	21.2	3.8	2.0	2.5

Now, I certainly am not saying that Ford is better than Redd, but in all the hoopla over Redd not making the team, I felt this was necessary to show. Ford certainly needs some improvement to his game as he needs to shoot in the 45-47% range and the Assist/TO ratio is not as high as it should be either. His rebounding is excellent for a PG and is a bit surprising. But I'm giving the guy some slack, as he's almost missed more time than he has played in the bigs, and I for one think his game is coming along nicely, as this graphic shows.

The Badgers took Penn State behind the shed for an old fashioned whoppin' 82-62. Brian Butch finally had a dominant game for the first time, (he must have read my rant) but granted it was against a line-up of 6"6" guys. When he has a 5" height advantage and add that to an additional 4-5" reach advantage, he should dominate. The past 2 games the Badgers have kicked the snot out of teams that frankly they should have. Dr. Jekyll is currently in the house, we'll see if he's still around on Wed night when they host Ohio State.

Mr. Crankbutt: Boo Hoo Kwan

The cranky one returns after a long hiatus to chime in about Michelle Kwan and the Olympics:

Thanks Cheesewad,
I am sick of hearing about the so-called "America's golden girl" Michelle Kwan. She hasn't won Olympic gold due to her choking time and time again and we're supposed to feel sorry for her. She whines her way onto the Olympic team and gets special treatment to get on it, because she was hurt when the qualifying happened. Now we hear that she is still hurt and is likely not able to skate. The USOC are morons for even getting involved in this stupid drama. By all rights Emily Hughes should be on the team, she did everything she was supposed to and earned her way on. Kwan cried like a 3 year old and got on.

Kwan is quoted as saying: "It's a sport," she said. "It's not life and death." Oh really, then why was it so damn important that you cry your way onto the team? Why did you need a special meeting in order to show you should be on the team? Could it be that you are just an attention hog that cannot stand not being in the limelight? Does this sound like someone who wants to become a gold medal champion? You have had 2 other opportunites to get the gold and failed, time to move on and let others have the opportunites you did. Oh, and the moronic argument that is brought up comparing her situation to Nancy Kerrigan's is so off base it's ridiculous.

Needless to say, I'm going to be all "unpatriotic" and not root for Kwan should she be allowed to skate, after all, she doesn't deserve to be there.

Update Sunday Feb 12th: Kwan has pulled out of the games. Guess the drama was too much even for her.

Lombardi Cartoons

Everyone has to see this. One of the funniest things I've read in a while.

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about

The Badgers kicked the snot out of Indiana at the Kohl Center 72-54 last night in a huge win for a team that was in desperate need of one. The defense came back with Indiana held to 29.2% FG shooting for the game. Indiana was on a skid themselves losing 3 of thier last 4, so the Badgers caught them at a good time. Tucker and Nixon provided almost all the offense the Badgers needed and Gullikson was huge off the bench with 7 pts and 7 rebs. Butch was brought off the bench with Bo going with a smaller lineup that worked wonders. I hope Butch caught the message that he needs to step it up and be more physical. Hopefully they can use this win to launch into a late-season winning surge. But I'm not sold on this Jekyll and Hyde team yet.

The Bucks needed 2 OT to take care of the Orlando Magic 94-89 at the Bradley Center. The Bucks went with a small lineup for both OTs and bench players Charlie Bell (10 pts) and Gadzuric (17 pts) stepped up big from the bench. Both Simmons and Redd were outstanding in both OTs, with getting key rebounds. The oddest line of the night: Magloire had 18 rebounds and 1 point. If the Bucks keep winning, I'll take it. Redd and Ford both had key blocks in the OT periods and the Bucks played some good defense to earn the win.

You know, I agree with this

Today the Milwaukee JS ran an article on the image problem at the Univ of WI. I gotta say, that in recent years, especially this year, this article is dead on. Many more athletes are getting in legal trouble now than say, 5 years ago and it's disturbing that this institution that had virtually no issues like this back then. Some of the quotes from the article:

When the UW Athletic Board discussed the strengths and weakness of the student-athlete discipline policy during its Jan. 27 meeting, alumni board member Wade Fetzer offered the toughest criticism. Sharing a conversation he had with a UW athlete, Fetzer told the board that many UW athletes viewed the policy as a joke.

The reason: Every athlete known to appeal a suspension has seen that suspension reduced by a five-member appeals committee.

Not a great thing to hear that the student-athletes don't respect the policy. Barry certainly has his work cut out for him being in his 2nd year as AD. Time to bring some accountability back to the athletic program. I've mentioned also about Bo Ryan's team having academic issues with 3 players lost for the season due to this and how this is a direct reflection on Bo. Barry also needs to nip this in the bud right away and get the academics back on track for the athletes as well.

I'm still a proud alum from WI, however, like many other alumni, I hold the U to a bit higher standard and am glad that other more "powerful" alumni have voiced their concerns.

The 2006 Backyard Border Battle has begun!

Yes indeed all, the now famous BBB between myself and my neighbor and good friend Shane has kicked off the 2006 season with the first event being completed this weekend. To catch the new readers up, last year's Battle was won by yours truly 4-3 over Shane. This year we have added new events to the Battle and the first event was one of the new ones, air hockey.

Shane and I went to Gameworks downtown for this installment of the Battle. First we had an outstanding dinner at the Loon Cafe, which has excellent chili I'd like to point out. Then it was on to the battleground. Now, this air hockey table was not your typical table, oh no, this table had the added feature of 3 PUCK PLAY! That's right, about 1/3 of the way through, 3 pucks would come out, and then for the last minute or so of the game (they were all timed) there would always be 3 pucks out on the surface until time ran out.

This was a best of 3 series as the place was quite packed. The first game saw me jump out to an early lead and I dominated the rest of the game which ended with a 15-8 victory. Shane had difficulty with the 3 puck play and was overwhelmed by my offensive onslaught. Score CC up 1-0.

Game two was a very tightly contested affair as the lead changed back and forth throughout the contest. The time had run out with 1 puck left on the surface and Shane up 11-10 as he went defensive this game to counter the 3 pucks, so I needed to make the last puck for the tie, which I easily did. Score after 2 games 1-0-1.

We took a break as there were people waiting to use the table and went off and played some of the other games, then after about an hour we came back to finish the event.

Game 3 was another close one with a game malfunction during play. After I scored a goal to tie it at 5, the game did not register it and did not kick out a new puck. So Shane and I bumped the machine as best we could while watching the time continue to run. We had to wait for the final minute where 3 pucks would come out. Feeling a bit of pressure given that Shane obviously rigged the machine to not count all of my goals, I was pushing the offense hard. Game 3 ended in an 11-10 victory for Shane as he luckily sank the final puck to tie it all up at 1-1-1.

The final game saw a flurry of action which drew the attention of quite a few of the younger patrons away from their games to watch the showdown. The crowd was clearly on my side as my superior abilities on the table quickly became obvious. The game was broadcast on all of the TV's in the place for all to enjoy. Chants of "Cheesehead! Cheesehead!" filled Gameworks as Shane was sweating with nervousness. The game was another see-saw battle with again the score tied at 15-15 with one puck left. Pointing at the goal in a called shot like Babe Ruth in the 1932 World Series, the crowd went wild. One quick, cold strike of the puck, and the game was over. 16-15 was the final score with Cheesehead Craig the victor. The crowd jumped up and down and cheered like the city of Pittsburgh after the SuperBowl. To show my appreciaton for their support, I gave some of the kids my Gameworks card so that they could enjoy playing a couple of games of air hockey as well. Shane was kind enough to stay a bit longer after the game so that I could sign autographs and have pictures taken with the fans.

This year's BBB has started off well again for me and it looks to be another exciting season of silly and borderline simplistic events. But fear not my loyal readers, I shall once again emerge victorious and the cup (which we still have to get) will once again be mine.

Warning: Lots of f*cking explatives ahead

If you are easily offended, do me a favor and skip this post.

Why does the Badger men's basketball team hate me so much? How can this team, which started with so much promise, end up fucking losing to the worst damn team in the Big Ten, Purdue 70-62? This is some of the shittiest basketball I have ever seen come out of Madison with them losing 5 of their last 6.

There's no fucking defense on this team, especially in the interior with Brian "not quite so" Butch. The Badgers have given up 46.8% shooting from the field, as teams are scoring on them more often than a hooker at Mardi Gras; plus they are being out-fucking-rebounded by over 5 boards/game. This team used to be built on defense and interior play, now we are just a bunch of pansy-ass outside shooters and the team has lost it's toughness, and needs to grow a pair in fucking hurry. This is not what WI basketball is Bo, not by a mother-fucking longshot.

Instead of building a team this year, Bo just went and relied upon Alando "shoot until my arms fucking fall off" Tucker to lead the team in scoring and hoped that the rest of the team would score enough to win. I'm predicting right now that this sorry-ass bunch of dipshits will not make the NCAA tourney. They will lose 5 of their next 7 games of the season and lose in the first round in the Big Ten tourney to finish the season 17-13 with no prayer of bid, not when you finish the season on a horseshit 3-11 run. No fucking way.

There, my rant is done and I apologize for the language. I just had to get it out of my system.

Hello, my name is Craig, and I'm an addict

I'm addicted to PartyPoker.net. Yes, I'm a sad man for playing Texas Hold 'Em poker on line, but I cannot help it. It is really fun and my abilites at poker have increased tremendously. Now, before I get any further along, I should point out that I AM NOT PLAYING FOR REAL MONEY! I don't believe in on-line gambling as it is waaaaayyy too dangerous to go down that road. I'll lose my $ in person at a casino like everyone else, thank you very much.

I've always loved playing card games and I'm pretty good at them, so figured I'd see how I'd do at poker. To date I'm over 70k in my bankroll (I started with 2k), however I'm nowhere near the top leaderboard players. I just log on, get the Yahoo radio going and zone out for a while.

One only gets better at things with practice, and even though the only 2 times I have played Texas Hold 'Em poker for real $, I came in 1st and 2nd, I won those on mostly luck and other people playing poorly. I have no dreams of becoming a professional poker player (hope that is settling for you O wonderful wifey of mine), but I would just like to have a bit more confidence when playing the game. Anyway, if you decide to go on there, I go by the same monicker that I do here. Look forward to seeing you there, taking your money, and having a good time.

Bucks - (Redd + Mo) = No win

It's simple math people, you take out the top 2 scorers, which is 40 pts/game for the Bucks, play against Yao Ming and T-Mac on the road and they will lose. Not real surprised at this result. However, I am a bit disappointed in Bogut in this one as he had a horrible game. 0-4 from the field in 26 minutes? Sheesh, thanks for showing up. Simmons was phenominal with 26 points and shot the hell out of the ball. Ford needs to remember that he is supposed to try and pass the ball a bit more. His 4-20 shooting just killed any chance the Bucks had of winning this game. Welsch had a nice night with 17 points showing he has the potential to be a big contributor off the bench. Magloire posted 13 pts and 15 rbs, but the Bucks got blown out once again on the boards, this time 48-38. What was once a strength of the Bucks has slowly slipped away, thus the disappointing losses. They have to get back to being a consistent rebounding team to get back to winning more.

Where's the parachute?

The Badgers continued their free-fall last night in an embarassing 51-66 loss to #6 Illinois, losing 4 of their last 5. The Badgers actually led this game 24-13 at one point in the first half, but let Illinois go on a 19-0 run. I wasn't surprised Illinois won this game, just at how poorly the Badgers played for the last 30 minutes. This team needs something, better yet, someone to give them a spark. The Badgers overachieved early on in the year, but this last stretch of 5 games has been brutally bad. They better turn this around quick or there is a very good chance of them being an 8 seed or worse, come tourney time.

Last night my almost 3 year old decided that she should get sick and thus, my wife and I spent about 2.5 hours cleaning up and making emergency runs to the bathroom with her last night. Amazingly, my daughter thought this was all just fine and was absolutely cute as heck during all that. My kids just amaze me at times with their calm reactions with things when I am expecting the worst.

EDIT: I should note that the 2.5 hours occured between midnight and 2:30 am.

Wild Wild West

The Bucks lose a heart-breaker to NO/OKC Hornets 93-94 last night. A last second shot by David West won the game for the home team. I said yesterday that the Bucks had to control West's performance, but he ended up with 24 pts and 15 reb. He and PJ Brown (12 rbs) controlled the boards and the Bucks had no answer for Speedy Claxton (19 pts). Redd dropped 32 pts and the starters all had good games, however the bench contributed virtually nothing and that was the key. The bench shot 2-12 (16.7%) and had 7 pts, and it was obvious that Mo Williams is the big key off the bench and he was sorely needed last night. But with him out for a couple more games with a sprained ankle, the other guys have to step up. The up and down season for the Bucks continues.

2 out of 3 IS bad

Well, not such a good weekend for WI sports. Let's see:

Badgers Basketball
The guys lost a tough one at Michigan 76-85. While watching the game, at first I was real pissed at how the refs were letting the MI big guys manhandle the Badgers and felt a lot of contact was not being called that benefitted MI. Then I took a step back (tripped over one of the kids toys in doing so) and realized that the Badgers are just a soft team, physically. Last year the Badgers did this, led by Wilkinson, to many an opponent. This year, now with Stiemsma and Landry out, the Badgers cannot hold their own very well against teams with physical big men as Butch is a finesse big man and simply cannot muscle-out down there. The upcoming schedule is tough, but the hardest games (Ill, Ohio St, IN) are at home, but over the next 5 games I would not be surprised to see the Badgers go 2-3.

Badger Hockey
Not too surprised at the Goophs sweeping the Badgers at the Kohl Center this weekend. Elliott is clearly missed and is a major key to the team. The Goophs have been playing excellent hockey and were able to catch the Badgers when they were down and beat them.

Bucks
A nice 2 game win streak, which was the lone bright spot of the WI sports weekend, over Toronto and Boston, which are teams they should beat. Tonight they visit ex-Buck Desmond Mason and the NO/OKC Hornets. Last game against them, the Hornets stayed in the game with 39 FT attempts to the Bucks 24. The Bucks need to keep the Hornets off the line and try and contain David West who went for 27 pts and 18 rbs last game.

Official Restaurant Recommendation
Last night we went to Q.Cumbers restaurant in Edina. They have a buffet-style, but it is mostly a salad-based one with some other main courses (usually roasted chicken or chicken fajitas) and plenty of vegetables. It was a great place and the best part is that it is cheap for kids. Kids are 63 cents/year. So my 2 year old daughter's plate was only $1.26 and Adam was $3.15. Plus, you cannot go wrong with soft serve ice cream sundaes or (cue Bill Cosby) chocolate pudding for dessert.

Whatever Oprah

I have to post about this, as it just irritates me.

By now everyone has heard about Oprah calling out James Frey on the inaccuracies of his book that she recommended to readers in her book club. Now, Oprah is a phenominal person and has done incredible things and I have a great deal of respect and admiration for her and she has every right to feel embarassed, as she along with many other people were duped by the author in believing that his book was entirely the truth. But to come out with the righteous indignation that the editors, publishers and reviewers should have done a better job of checking things out on the book just irritates the hell out of me. Here's a quote from the show:

Nan Talese of Doubleday, the book's publisher, said she learned of the fabrications at the same time everyone else did -- when The Smoking Gun published its report.

"I was dismayed to know that," she said, adding that she never approached the author on whether Smoking Gun's report was true.

"As an editor, do you ask someone, 'Are you really as bad as you are?'" Talese said.

"Yes, yes, yes! Yes, you do," Winfrey said to loud applause.

So Oprah can blame everyone else for not doing her fact-checking for her. She was the one who read the book and then pimped it on her show. She knows what type of publicity her show can do for someone. She can say that she relies on the publishers to correctly do things, but nobody forced her to have a book club and tell people what she thinks are good books.

There is a quote from a different story that applies to Oprah that she should take to heart in this matter: "With great power, comes great responsibility." She needs to take more ownership of her own mistakes, rather than lashing out at others.

Last night on the news, I heard an anchorman say that she "took him behind the woodshed" on the show, like Oprah did some great heroic thing. She didn't. Frey did not write the book for her, he wrote it for himself, his own therapy. He didn't stand at her door everyday begging her to read it or plug it on her show. Again, it was Oprah's choice to do so.

She was not a hero for what she did. She was just an angry person who was lashing out at someone who embarrassed her. Nothing more.

Day off

I get to be stay-at-home dad today while my incredibly talented and wonderful wife is out of town today and tomorrow judging a high school speech competition. I made the kids breakfast and got the boy off to school on time (see, men are not incompetent unlike the image that is painted by the female-controlled media). Looking forward to spending a good day with my daughter. Tonight, it's take and bake pizza time!

Badger Time!
Well, the Badgers kicked the snot out of Penn State the other night without Landry and Stiemsma who are now academically ineligible for the rest of the season. This now makes for 3 players this year that have this issue. Ryan had better start paying a bit more attention to these kids and their academics. This is concerning to say the least. His new AD in Alvarez is not going to take too kindly to any continuing issues on the academic front. Bo is an excellent coach and this is probably just a one-season issue, but this still bears watching.

America (or at least my readers), you decide!

The Badgers won last night and the Bucks lost, but we have more important things to do today. I got this idea from my blogging buddy CPF, when he posed the question about who was the hotter Daisy Duke, Catherine Bach or Jessica Simpson. I figured a more pertinent question needed to be answered: who was hotter, Catherine Bach (Daisy Duke of The Dukes of Hazzard) or Erin Grey (Wilma Deering of Buck Rogers). You decide. As for me, that alluring suit of Erin's is sweet, but a man cannot argue with those shorts so I gotta go Catherine. Feel free to comment after you clean up your drool.

Catherine Bach

vs

Erin Grey

Stopping a scorer?

I mentioned yesterday that the Bucks cannot handle elite scorers in the league. Well, I decided to go back to their last 9 games where they played against a player who can just ring the bell and see how they have done. Here's the results:

Player	Pts Scored	Pts Over Avg	FG%
McGrady	41	14	53.1%
Dirk	35	9	66.7%
Carmelo	38	12	65.0%
LeBron	35/52	8/15	63.6%/65.5%
Wade	35/27	10/2	71.4%/64.2%
Iverson	23	-11	36.3%
Kobe	33	1	58.3%
Total	35	8	59.5%

The 2 things that jump out at me are that on avg these scorers score 8 more than their avg and shoot 59.5% from the field. That's friggin' unbelievable! I took how much the players scoring average was at the time they played the Bucks. The Bucks are not a good defensive team (yeah, I know, big newsflash and all) but they cannot let the other team's big guys have this much free reign. Do what you have to to stop the big guys and make the other guys on the court beat you. The Bucks are 2-7 in these games and I'm sure the numbers are about as bad if I go back even further. The good news is, there's no big scorers in the picture until the rematch with T-Mac in about a week, bad news is the Pistons are in town tonight, so chalk up another loss.

At least Kobe's not on the schedule soon

I shudder to think what he would do to the Bucks defense right now. The Bucks cannot handle elite scorers and have been torched by them all season. T-Mac dropped 41, most of them in the 2nd half to spank the Bucks at the Bradley Center 97-80. The Bucks scored a whopping 9 points in the 4th quarter. If you're not going to play defense kids, at least score some points. Wasn't Bobby Simmons signed and Mason traded because Simmons could play D? This team should be better than their 21-19 record and it's frustrating.

The Good, the Bad, and the Downright Fun

The Good
The Bucks won their 2 games over the weekend to improve their overall record to 21-18 and a tie for 3rd place in the Central. Michael Redd has found his stroke again, and that just puts everything back into place. Granted, the Bucks beat Atlanta (10-28) and Charlotte (11-30), who if you combined their rosters you still couldn't provide a legit starting 5 in the NBA, but they won the games convincingly like good teams are supposed to.

The Bad
The UW athletic program's weekend. First, the Badger hockey team loses their star NHL-caliber goalie to a practice injury. Then they get swept at home by Denver to shrink their lead in the conference to 4 points. To then top off a completely miserable weekend, the Badgers men's basketball team loses a home game to North Dakota State. That's right, North fricking Dakota State who are in year 3 of their 5 year transition from D-II to D-I. Why do I get the feeling that the Badgers finally overlooked a team and got burned by it. The Badgers shot 16-72 (that's 22.2% for you math majors) from the field. Even if you grab 22 offensive rebounds and force 24 turnovers, if you can't make a damn shot, you're not going to beat anyone. This combined with the Ohio St. loss, should put the Badgers dangerously close to not being a ranked team any longer. They were ranked too high anyway, so this probably balances the whole thing out.

The Downright Fun
This weekend, my best buddy Gabe came up and we went out to watch our friend Dave who coaches the Dassel-Cokato Chargers boys varsity basketball team play at Howard Lake Lakers. This is the 2nd year we have done this as we get together with several other friends and make a big night out of it. Dave surprised us all with new DC Chargers T-shirts that we all immediately put on and sat behind the DC bench and cheered. The Chargers dispatched of the Lakers 57-51 behind a very strong inside game and held the Lakers to 27% from the field, including 1-20 from 3 point range. Afterwards, we went over to Dave's house for a veritable orgy of food. We had buffalo chicken cheese dip for chips, sausage stuffed mushrooms, cheese stuffed jalapenos, swedish meatballs, hot roast beef, teriaki chicken wings and chips and dips of just about every kind. Not to mention the alcohol was flowing and all of the 20 or so attendees had a blast. The fun finally ended at 3:30 in the morning and Gabe and I made our way back for the 45 minute drive home. Dave and his wife are fantastic hosts and I look forward to this weekend every year. If you think I'm providing pictures of any of this, you're nuts.

The Fab Five

It's that time again when I hit the "Next Blog" button in the upper right and comment on the 5 randomly selected blogs and have some fun with them. The nominees are...

Asi como me ves me tienes
It's Sergio's blog! You all remember that Smirnoff Ice commercial where the 2 guys claim they know Sergio and fly and party all around the world? Well, here's his blog. Nah! Had you going though didn't I?

Moda Brasil Hexacampeano
A store to buy Brazilian-flag themed items like headscarfs, dolls, money bags, etc. I did not see any Brazilian women wearing those tennie-tiny Brazilian flag thong bikinis. Damn.

A Flower Called Nowhere
OK, this blog is pretty fucked up. A guy who is a US citizen and lives in Amsterdam and wants to marry an Amsterdam citizen so that he can then become a citizen there. Let's see his qualifications: blew all his money (including his 401k from the states) on drugs and was going to kill himself as part of a planned suicide. Gee, and nobody has taken him up yet? Go figure.

Christmas Tree Poems
This blog is nothing like the title. Here is a quote from the blog: "is & not stack I of so people remember 6:44 a 20% in christmas in prison can Chan, signed I You be a because Plays The get CHRISTMAS IN PRISON Shaolin folds are Office the least out Wet" What in the blue hell is this all about? Thank goodness crap like this is out there.

Mr. Winkie
This gay guy (not that there's anything wrong with that) has a blog where he posts pictures of women's feet to satisfy his fetish. Also dreams of sex with Michael Clark Duncan (the big prisoner from Green Mile), and also with his boss (not at the same time mind you). Hey, he's Canadian after all, so it's ok.

Double Ouch

Bucky
The Badgers lose at Ohio State last night 77-67 for their first Big Ten loss and drop to 14-3 overall. The Badgers were down 2 key reserves in Marcus Landry and Greg Stiemsma. Stiemsma is hurt and likely will miss the Badgers next game against ND State. Landry may be a bigger issue as he had to sit per academic reasons and this may turn out to be a longer absence from the team. Ohio State had their way against an uncharacteristicly poor UW defense. The Big Ten is tough this year, and if you slip defensively in a game, the opponent is going to make you pay for it.

The Badgers were ranked #15 & #13 in the polls, but that is simply too high. Their early schedule has been mostly home games where they are 10-0, but other than the Paradise Jam Tourney(where the competition really wasn't that good), they seemingly cannot win on the road. They are 1-3 and granted all those games (except MN) were against ranked teams, but teams ranked that high should do better. I really think it would do Bo some good if he scheduled some more road games early on in the season.

Bucks
They lose a heartbreaker to the Spurs 95-92, ending their streak of 13 straight when the game is decided by 6 pts or less. Their defense was stellar in the game with limiting the Spurs to 45.7% from the field and shooting 50% themselves. However, SA is loaded with talent and the Bucks did a nice job on Duncan, Ginobili and Parker, but they had no answer for Michael Finley down the streatch. He dropped 21 pts including 2 huge 3 pointers in the final minutes and sealed the game from the FT line. Overall, a very solid performance by the Bucks and even though it is disappointing, it's an effort that can be built on.

Where, O where, has our defense gone?

Go on over to the Frozen Tundra to see my thoughts on the Packers and Bates leaving.

This post will focus on the defensively challenged, Milwaukee Bucks. The Bucks have lost 6 of their last 8 games due in large part to their complete unwillingness and inability to defend anyone. Here are some fun stats to show their ineptitude over the last 8 games:

The Bucks have shot 43.9% and averaged 92.1 pts/game (8th worst in the NBA on both counts)Their opponents shot 48.1% (3rd worst) and averaged 101.5/game (5th worst)

The Bucks have been outshot, percentage-wise in 7 of the last 8 games, only the win against a severely depleted Charlotte team was the lone exception. They were outshot in the win over the T-Wolves.

The Bucks have given up over 100 points in 6 of their last 8 games.

The combined record of the teams they have played over this stretch, 123-126.

Terry Stotts, it's long past time to start emphasizing defense with this team. I certainly realize that this is a young team but this is bordering on the ridiculous. The Bucks are not built to score over 100/game and that is what they are having to do in order to win games with how they play defense.

In The Zone

The title will teleport you over to The Frozen Tundra for my latest comments on the Packers. Today I go over the 'zone blocking' that the Packers are now going to implement and explain exactly what entails. I didn't really know either, learn something new everyday.

On another note. Back on Jan 5th this year, I had my 1 year anniversary of this blog. Didn't even realize it myself.

That's one Bucking impressive stat

The Bucks beat the Charlotte Bobcats 103-102 last night in Charlotte to go 13-0 this season in games decided by 6 points or less. This really shows how far this team has come since last season as far as confidence goes. However, no way should Charlotte have been in this game last night. They were out 6 players to injury and the Bucks blew an 18 point lead. One of the downsides to having a young team is turnovers. The Bucks had 23 of them last night which totally negated their 48-38 rebounding advantage they had. TJ Ford was in the right place at the right time to get the long rebound and the winning bucket. Bogut was impressive with his 18 pt 17 rb game and really needs to become a bigger part of the offense. I liked that they got Magloire so that Bogut was not immediately thrust into the center position, but I think the time has come to put some more on the young guy's shoulders. Give him 38 minutes and 16 shots/game and he'll get you your consistant double double. Oh, and Stotts, let's see some semblance of a defense please.

Pamela Anderson vs Colonel Sanders

I know I'm posting this a little late in the day today, but in case you don't know, Pamela Anderson is wanting the bust of Colonel Sanders removed from the KY state capitol. This is a quandry for the red-blooded men of America. Who do we side with? I shall endeavor to answer this question with the following:

Pamela Anderson

VS

Colonel Sanders

Known for: CS- Drop dead delicious chicken PA- Drop dead gorgeous physique

National treasure since: CS- 1952 PA- 1991, thanks to Baywatch

Empire covers: CS- The stomachs of men worldwide PA- The minds (and other parts) of men worldwide

Introduced the world to: CS- Sporks PA- Slow motion running on a beach in a swimsuit

Biggest secret: CS- 11 herbs and spices PA- Why she went out with Scott Baio and Kid Rock

Best asset: CS- Breasts PA- Breasts (in both cases, they are all natural)

Biggest downfall: CS- Not enough restaurants PA- Not enough brains

It's a close call, but the winner is Colonel Sanders! Sorry Pam, gorgeous women come and go, but crispy, juicy, heavenly chicken is eternal.

The New McCarthyism

Click the title of the post to go to the wonderful land of The Frozen Tundra to see more of my thoughts about the Packers newest hire.

The Bucks against the Pacers in Indianapolis last night in a game I didn't think they were going to win anyway, apparently they didn't either as they clearly mailed in their performance losing 112-88. Since they didn't feel like playing last night, I'm not posting anything further on it.

The Double Whammie!

The state of Minnesota got the double whammie last night, as WI proved to be the superior basketball state with wins by the Bucks over the Timberwolves and the Badgers over the Goophers. What a glorious night indeed!

Bucky, Bucky, Buuuuucky!
The Badgers defeated the Goophs on the Goophs own home floor last night 64-62 to improve to 13-2 and 3-0 in the Big Ten. The Badgers held the Goophs to making only 3 shots in the first half. That's right people, they made 3 friggin' shots. The defense that the Badgers can bring is simply phenominal (64.4 pts/game) and given that they average scoring 76.7 pts/game, they can do it on both ends. This team could have folded after giving up a huge lead on the road, but held together and won. This team is possibly better than last year's squad that made it to the Elite 8. But please, Mr. Tucker, work on that FT shooting would you? Shaq is even making fun of your ineptitude. The Border Battle is now 160-120 in favor of the Badgers over the Goophs.

The Bucks
Now, the Bucks have not played very well at home having a 9-7 record, oops, I mean 10-7 now that they beat the Wolves (sorry, cheap shot). The Bucks had to sit 6th Man of the Year, Mo Williams with plantar fascitis so they were down one of their big guns for this game. The Bucks did a great job in containing KG so that he could not get into the flow of offense for the Wolves. The bench contributed 34 points led by the immortal Toni Kukoc with 14. To me, this was the key to the game as the bench has been fairly silent during the 3 game slide. The Bucks broke out of their shooting slump against one of the better defensive teams in the league by hitting 51.3% of their shots. The Bucks defense was its usual self by allowing 52.9% shooting by the Wolves, but were able to hold on. One of the better home performances from the Bucks to improve their record to 18-14 and 3rd place in the Central Division. They now have 5 of their next 6 on the road starting with being at Indiana tonight. Ugh.

Calhoun off to the NFL

Brian Calhoun has declared himself available for the 2006 NFL Draft. Given the season he had, he was the best overall back in the Big 10. He knows that he will not be picked until the 2nd round at the earliest and possibly later, so it's good that he does not have too high of expectations. Given how he bucked the odds at the college level, I wouldn't rule him out of being successful at the pro level. Best of luck to you Brian! Now, Bielema has his work cut out for him in his first year coaching at the U in replacing him.

The Good, the Bad and the Stupid

THE GOOD
The #24 Badgers kicked the snot out of the #7 Michigan State Spartans 82-63 at the Kohl Center in a nationally televised game. Kammron Taylor led the charge with a dominating 27 point performance. The Badgers received continuous praise from the CBS announcers for their outstanding overall team play and great coaching. The Badgers are now 67-3 at home under Bo Ryan. That's a 95.7% winning percentage, and that's domination. Bo has definately taken this program to new heights during his reign.



THE BAD
The Bucks lost their 3rd straight game this weekend. Their poor shooting is coming back to bite them big time. Over this 3 game losing streak, they shot 41.1%, which is incredibly poor. They also were outrebounded as well in each of the losses, which is disturbing, given this was a strength all season so far. TJ Ford came back and had a decent game against Cleveland on Saturday night, but he was not able to turn the losing tide the Bucks are in. They are now at a 17-14 record and the #6 team in the East, but maybe I have been expecting too much from this team. This is a trend that is concerning. They have a huge 4 game stretch coming up of home games against MN and Denver and road games at Charlotte and Indiana. They have to, and can go 3-1 against these teams.

THE STUPID
Not a picture big enough for this one, but it's the MN TV media. I have seen the sports anchors on the local news (and the news anchors as well), crowing about how the Vikes "stole" Childress from the Packers and how they stuck it to the Cheeseheads. NEWSFLASH: You didn't steal jack-shit. Thompson had 8 interviews lined up and would have gone through them all prior to hiring any coach. He's methodical, that's the way he is. He wasn't just going hire Childress right after he got off the plane like the Vikes did. I get a kick out of these TV people acting all smug and superior and define their worth from what they perceive they do to the Cheeseheads.

Mailbag

Before I get to the mailbag, I have a shameless plug for myself. If you have enjoyed my musings on The Frozen Tundra, go on over to MVN and vote for me in the writer awards.

Oracle: I have a question about Brett Favre, and know that you will have the answer. Is he under contract or is a free agent? I am wondering if he wants to play elsewhere if the Packers would have to trade or release him. Being the Oracle and all, I know you help me with this one. What do you think will happen? I have heard rumors of him going to Miami to take one more shot at the Super Bowl behind a solid offense, but th thought of him not in green and gold is just too hard to picture. I agree that the Packers should look no further than Bates if they are committed to bringing in a defensive coach. I have no idea what the Vikes will do, and am very much on the fence in regards to Brad Chilldress. I'd like to see them interview Rivera from the Bears, but the thought of an ex-Bear as coach of the Vikes may be too much for me to handle.

I'd also like to thank you once again for being in my Yahoo Fantasy Football League again. It was a much better league this year than last, and I appreciate you being in it. Keep giving Shane heck. Take care.

Curt (in Grand Forks)

Thank you for the complement O Curt in Grand Forks.

Favre is under contract for 4 more years so if he would choose to play for another team, a trade must be made. If he retires, he is still property of the Packers for the length of the term of the contract, so again a trade must be made should desire to come back and play for another team in that timeframe.

Miami has a solid offense? This confuses the Oracle as that has not existed since the late 80's.

The Oracle sees great things should the Packers hire Jim Bates as their head coach. I see visions of a silver football on a stand being handed to him. The Oracle cannot however influence the minds of those in Green Bay, he can only say what he sees.

You are correct on Rivera, as anything Bear-related is unclean and will taint anything it is associated with.

My participation in your fantasy football league was enjoyable, I am glad that I helped all there have a good time.

May fortune smile upon you Curt in Grand Forks; and oh yes, I forsee a banner year of heck for one Shane.

Sports Spectacular!

Lots of stuff today.

First off, last night's Rose Bowl was one of the best games on any level I have ever seen. The game not only lived up to the hype, but exceeded it. Vince Young had the greatest collegiate game ever. Wow. He is a phenominal talent, and he's leaning towards staying in college next year. If he does, nobody's stopping TX. Matt Leinert wins classless ass of the year with his comment after the game of "We're still the better team" line. No, you're not the better team, otherwise you would have won the game which was essentially on your home field. Lose with some class and dignity. I feel sorry for the team that gets him in the draft. He's a coddled prima donna that has a good chance of being a head case in the NFL. For the record, the 4th and 1 call by Carroll to go for it with White was the right call. TX was not able to stop him all night long. Had Leinert passed and it was an incomplete or a Leinert sneak that failed, everyone would be wondering why Pete did not give it to his unstoppable RB.

Packers
I've got some stuff on the Packers HC situation over at The Frozen Tundra. Go check it out and comment, tell your friends and family as well.

Bucks
The Bucks lose at home last night to the Cavs when they let them go on a 16-0 run to start the 4th Q. Not gonna win too many games doing that. The Bucks shot 37% for the game from the field with the bench not contributing any points the entire game. Too many things went wrong for the Bucks and the poor showing at home games this year continues.

2005 Backyard Border Battle Final Results

On Saturday, December 31st, my neighbor Shane and I participated in the last event of the 2005 Backyard Border Battle, bowling. I was already assured the championship by being up 4-2 after shellacking Shane throughout the year. This event was simply to go through the motions and finish out the contest.

Shane insisted on bringing his boys along with him and wanted me to bring Adam. I thought this sounded fishy as they all were giggling amongst themselves when I agreed to bring along my son so that he could witness my final victory. Little did I know the depths that Shane would sink to just to win the event to make the final score look closer than it really was.

The first game was a close one, with both of us taking the lead at various times. The victory was preserved for Shane in game one after my son inadvertantly threw a ball that crashed through the bumpers of the kids lane and into the gutter on our lane, during the 10th frame.

Game two Shane saw the true destructive force of my bowling prowess as I marked 6 straight times to even the score at 1-1 with a 50 pin victory. Shane was asking for a time out and even said that he forgot something in my van (I drove us all over, see what a great guy I am) in order to get me outside in an attempt to have the freezing air outside cool me off.

Then, came game three. The start of the game was a tight affair, then I noticed Shane give a signal to his two sons who then started taunting my son. The venomous chants of "The Packers stink! Brett Favre is a loser!" came from his children's lips and stung my son to the quick. My son, being only 5, broke into tears as he could not understand why his friends and Viking fans would be so mean-spirited. Shane would not tolerate any delay in the game and demanded that I bowl immediately. My mind was clearly on my tormented son and I simply threw the ball down the lane and quickly returned to him. This continued for several frames while I helped my son understand that Viking fans simply don't care about things that are good and pure, and only care about being mean and ugly and bringing others to their despicable level. My son, now armed with this knowledge, was able to fend off these bullies and enjoy his bowling experience. However, having to devote all my thoughts and energy to him, got me too far behind to catch up to Shane. He won the bowling event 2-1.

Even with this setback, I was still the 2005 Backyard Border Battle champion! As my reward, Shane must provide me a beverage of my choice for a day. We will be going to Snuffy's shortly so that he can provide me with a chocolate malt. Ahhh... the chocolately taste of victory! The 2006 Battle will be starting soon with more events and more excitement. I'll still win, but keep reading to see how this year.

How Sweet it is!

The Badgers roll all over the #7 Auburn Tigers in the Capital One Bowl 24-10 in an absolute ass-whuppin'. This game frankly is on par with the Rose Bowl wins. Auburn was 10 1/2 point favorites and nobody expected this to happen. The Badgers did their best to "win one for the Barry".

The offense put up 548 yards against one of the better defensive squads in the country and the much-maligned Badger defense (that the announcers loved to point out was #100 in the country) just stuffed the vaulted Tigers offense time and time again and only allowed 236 yards of total offense for the game. Shit, Calhoun almost had more offense just by himself with his 213 yds rushing than the whole Tigers team. The defense was swarming all day. I found myself jumping around and cheering during the game like I was back in college.

Brian Calhoun, Brandon Williams (173 yds recieving) and John Stocco (301 yds passing, 135.6 QB rating) had phenominal games all. I was most impressed with Stocco. His 3rd and 7 completion to Brandon Williams for 35 yards while having 2 Tiger defenders tackling him as he threw the ball was quite possibly the best play I've seen all year. He was calm and focused the entire game.

Words cannot express how happy I was during this game, as this may game may go down as Barry's greatest achievement. Barry became the coach during my 2nd year at Madison and I saw first-hand what he did for the school and the athletic program. He brought back pride. Barry is now in the rarified air that used to be reserved for Lombardi, Starr, Taylor, Hudson and now Favre. He is a larger than life legend in the state of WI. The fact that he is will continue to be in charge of the entire Badger athletic program is simply heart-warming.

Last post of the year

Today is the last post of the year for me, I'll return sometime next year in case anyone cares. Now onto sports and someother things

Badgers
Our Badgers (ranked #24 in the AP poll and #22 in the coaches) came off their 2 week hibernation and beat the Louisiana Tech Nosepickers in a game that wasn't even as close as the final score of 78-52. All this game did was pad the stats of the Badgers. They are off to a 10-1 start and halfway to the mythical 20 wins needed to get into The Dance, which they won't have a problem making barring a meltdown of Martin Lawrence proportions. The Badger players better find their suitcases as they go to Pittsburgh for a game on New Year's Eve. Since they haven't been on the road since the loss at Wake a month ago on Nov 29th, I worry they may have lost their existing suitcases and have to buy new ones. This may lead to them getting some discounts due to who they are, and then we have Luggage-gate or something stupid like that.

Packers
Brett is supposedly talking like this is his last game. I have said all season long that I believe that this is his last season. We'll see what happens in the next month or so as I also believe that he will make a decision shortly after the Super Bowl. Brett's not going to keep the team hanging on deciding what they have to do from a FA and draft standpoint much longer than that.

The Greatest Video Clip Of The Year
Many of you probably have seen this, but I have to link to it: It's the SNL skit of The Chronic of Narnia Rap. The funniest thing I have seen SNL put out in quite a while.

Have a great New Years Everyone!

I hate thugs in the NBA

TJ Ford gets hurt last night in the Bucks loss to the Heat. He was fouled hard by James Posey and left the game after 4 minutes of play. James frickin' Posey. So one of the most exciting players in the league in Ford gets taken out of the game, and likely several more and will be affected the rest of the season because some scrub who has 8" and 40 lbs on Ford decides that he needs to foul hard. What a frickin' joke. Learn to play some defense. First Mark Madsen, career thug decides 2 years ago that he needs to knock out Ford with a hard foul and now Posey. These are 2 guys the NBA can live without. I don't want to hear about the NBA is a physical game and the players need to deal with it. There is physical play, and then there is thuggery. I got no problem with Shaq and Magloire going at it under the hoop. But hacking away at a guy driving to the hoop and airborne to stop a shot because you cannot stop him is just crap.

Time for more sports crap!

Yes, your repreive from sports is over. I certainly hope you all enjoyed The Adventures of Larry Legend, as I had an absolute blast making it. The owner of the Larry ornament, Shane, was quite pleased with the whole story and has forgiven me for stealing him. Amazing what buying a guy a Chipotle burrito will do for you.

Packers
They suck. Rodgers should play for 3 quarters on Sunday. He'll be against the Seahawks scrubs and second teamers, but it is necessary that he gets exposed to actual game experience. Next topic.

Bucks
Further proof that there is no "D" in Milwaukee, they lose to a bad Magic team. The Bucks are the 6th worst team in opponents FG% (46.3%) while being 17th in the league in making them (44.5%) themselves. They make up for this with their supurb 3 point shooting (4th in the league). Jamal Magloire hit the nail on the head with his quote after this recent game:

"I think we need to focus," said Magloire. "Do a better job of focusing. I think we're more interested in offense and scoring points than we are at stopping our man. That will catch up to us."

It did catch up to them last night. The Bucks are a good offensive team, no doubt about it as they avg 97.6 pts/game. But they give up 99.2 pts/game. You keep that up you will start losing games, and often. The Bucks make up for it with good rebounding (4th in the league, 3rd in offensive rebounds), but the D needs to improve.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode V - The Final Battle

Last time, Larry survived the Forbidden Jungle and now with the help of the Rescue Heros, he is off to save Polly. Now for the conclusion of our story (thank goodness!) in Episode V - The Final Battle.

Preparations were complete for Rhyno and Polly's wedding. Rhyno and Polly were at the beautiful wedding platform in Rhyno's fortress.

"All is set my love, as you can see the minister is here and not only that, he's the DJ as well. See how efficient and cost conscience I am." Rhyno says.

"My Larry will come for me," says Polly with obvious fear and concern in her voice, "he is my true love."

"Bah! He is dead and now nothing can stop me, Rhyno J. Cumquat from geting the girl of my dreams." Rhyno boasted.

"Your last name is Cumquat?" giggled Polly. Even the priest was stiffling a laugh.

"Shut up!" yelled an embarassed Rhyno and turns toward the priest, "Let the ceremony begin!"

"Not so fast." proclaimed a voice.

"LARRY!" squealed a joyous Polly.

Both Rhyno and Polly looked up and there was a tremendous battle going on with the Rescue Heros and the dinosaurs that were guarding the wedding platform.

"It can't be," said a dumbfounded Rhyno "how did you escape my gorgeous Nymphos?"

"Biff sacrificed himself and got them in a hot tub with beer so that I could come rescue my true love, Polly." Larry said triumphantly.

"You left gorgeous nymphos in a hot tub with beer?" Polly asked shockingly, "are you sure you're not gay? I mean, come on, that even sounds good to me..."

"Enough of that," Larry says, "it's time we had it out Rhyno. Time for the final battle."





After a back and forth battle with both combatants landing crushing blows, it was finally the basketball-quan-do skills of Larry Legend that ended the fight. The deafening "KAPOW!!" that was heard all the way to the Boston Garden (not the restaurant, the sporting facility) of his trusty Spaulding going upside of Rhyno's head ended the epic brawl.

Now Larry and Polly were together again, and all was right with the world. The birds could now sing, the flowers bloom and the rivers run.

Larry and Polly went back to their ski chalet, and to the victors go the spoils...

Credits

Written, Directed and Produced by Cheesehead Craig

Camera work by Cheesehead Craig and Rachel

Wardrobe and Art Direction by Rachel

Special Effects by Cheesehead Craig and Adam

Casting by Cheesehead Craig

Editing by Cheesehead Craig and Rachel

Set design by Cheesehead Craig and Adam

Polly Pockets represented by RachelReck, INC.

Catering by Cub Foods

This story was done on location at Cheesehead Craig's house.

No toys or Christmas ornaments were harmed in the making of this story.

All characters are fictional, any resemblance to any real person is only in your head.

This story is sole property of Cheesehead Craig, try and pass this off as your own, and I'll kick your ass.

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you enjoyed the story, let me know.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode IV - The Forbidden Jungle

In Episode III, we witnessed Larry and Biff in their struggle against the Nymphos. Biff sacrificed himself so that Larry could continue on. Now, Larry is on his way to see King Cheekymonkey in hopes that he can help Larry save Polly.

Larry crossed the great sea with the aid of the cuddling sailors and entered the Forbidden Jungle. The Jungle was full of deadly plant life such as giant man-eating Venus fly traps and large aloe plants. As ferns and ficus flailed furiously, the former fantastic Forward flung forth fabulously.

He did not care what damage was being done to him, he only cared for one thing: a double cheeseburger. It had been a long time since he last ate and he was hungry dammit! He decided that he must rescue Polly first. Because if she found out he stopped to eat while she was held captive, then he would never hear the end of it; and frankly he really did not need that kind of hassle in his life.

While Larry was busy daydreaming about double cheeseburgers, there was a loud shout in front of him. "Halt!" boomed a voice that shook him to his bones.

Larry looked up and saw a giant nutcracker.

"In order to pass to the castle of King Cheekymonkey, you must answer a riddle," said the nutcracker. "Answer it correctly and you shall pass unharmed, answer incorrectly and I shall crack your nuts."

"I agree to your terms, giant." Larry answered boldly. "Give me your riddle so that I may answer it and move on."

"Very well, what is the name of the compound that is essential to absorbing and retaining the scented essences of potpourri?" asked the giant Nutcracker

Larry answered confidently, "Given that I minored in potpourri at Indiana State, this is easy. The answer is a fixative, such as oak moss, orris root or cellulose."

"You are correct, and you may pass," and with this the Nutcracker moved out of the way and allowed Larry to continue on to the castle of King Cheekymonkey.

Larry approached the opulent palace of King Cheekymonkey and upon his arrival, the King and Queen came out to the balcony to see what this stranger to their land wanted.

Larry told his sorrowful tale of love lost and the hardships he had endured getting to this point in his journey.

The king was agast at the tale of the Nymphos and exclaimed, "You walked away from Nymphos in a hot tub with beer? What are you whipped or something?"

The Queen joined in as well, "I agree, I would never pass that up and frankly I would be ashamed of myself had I done so."

Larry was flabergasted, "But Polly is my true love, other than basketball. Doesn't that count for anything?"

The King and Queen conferred and decided that Larry was indeed worthy of help, despite being a wuss, after all he was one of the 50 greatest players in NBA history, even though they thought Magic Johnson was better. "We shall give you the use of the Rescue Heros to aid you on your quest."


Larry was thrilled at this offer. Furthermore, the King and Queen knew of where Rhyno's fortress was. Larry jumped onto the Rescue Hero's firetruck with them and off they went to save Polly.


Will Larry be able to get to Polly in time? Does Rhyno have one last surprise for Larry? Tune in next time for the conclusion in Episode V - The Final Battle.