"That's a bold statement, Craig. What movie are you referring to?"
It is a bold statement, and to back it up I have one number for you:
300.
Holy crap was this a fantastic movie. It had it all: action, blood, beautiful women (naked too, whoo hoo!), larger than life monsters and more testosterone than all the NFL combined. One simply has to see the spectacle of the movie to appreciate the manliness. A manly movie of this caliber cannot be described in words, it must be viewed, nay experienced on the big screen in all it's gloriousness. I gained 2 pounds of manliness while watching this movie (or it could have been the Chipotle burrito I ate prior to viewing it).
Let's compare this movie to other "manly" movies from the past and why 300 surpasses them all:
Fight Club - Bunch of sissys who fight in their mom's basement because they cannot handle the stress of the world. Then they cowardly blow up buildings. Pfft. The Spartans fight because that is what they are born to do. They wouldn't sneak around in basements or blow up buildings. They would kill you in broad daylight and from the sheer force of their manly battle cry level the buildings.
Unforgiven - A pig farmer kills a bunch of hicks with a gun. Please. Spartans didn't need guns, they used spears and swords and killed you up close and personal while while their superior manliness made you crap your pants in fear.
Rocky - A street thug turns into a heavyweight contender and fights with some padded gloves on. WTF? PADDED GLOVES? Give me a break. Spartans would never waste their time with silly games like this. They would rather go out in the wild and fight a giant wolf with and kill it with their bare hands.
Mortal Kombat - Any movie that has Christopher Lambert as a god is inherently weak. The Spartans would kill anyone in that movie simply by walking too closely to them.
Top Gun - A bunch of pretty boys fly around the sky. Spartans have 3 words for these guys: Athenian boy-lovers
A new standard has been set for manly movies. Tremble in fear you sissy boys who think you are action stars. You are nothing compared to what is the sheer embodiment of all that is manly and testosterone laden as the Spartans from 300.
7 comments:
Nothing can top 300 for manliness. Nothing. Fight Club comes a distant second. Distant.
The light from screen of the movie 300 was like being bathed in virtual testosterone. I'm surprised random fights didn't happen in the parking lot after the show.
Amazing film. Amazing.
By the way, Craig, I hope you had a good breakfast today. Because tonight we dine in hell!!!!
300 is the most homoerotic homophobic movie ever. Totally stupid, sprinkled liberally with racism and sexism, and clearly made for the closeted gay haters.
Adrock
Wait, do I hate gays that are still in the closet? Or is it I hate the gay haters who are still in the closet? Or is it that I hate closets? Is Tom Cruise in my closet, or did he come out? I don't have a problem with Tom Cruise, why do you think I hate him? Unless he messed with my ties in my closet, then I would hate him. Your post is confusing.
Lost in all of this dicsussion of manliness is the fact that the manly Spartans were pretty much the founding members of NAMBLA.
That movie was so manly after that after watching it I came home and impregnated my wife -- and I'm "shooting blanks!"
Don't forget two other manly movies: Reservior Dogs and Saving Private Ryan
Ummmmm, u guys forgetting about predator??? we are talking about a movie where.....well ill just leave the link and let u take a loot at how manly it is, http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20041669_20041686_20042607_4,00.html , if u dont feel like looking at the link though, A. Movie starts with arnolds biceps flexed and locked in some kind of protein powered handshake, B. A man uses the statement "i dont have time to bleed" C. Arnold has to take off his shirt, build a bow out of a tree, and cover himself in mud to kill the Predator, and D. A man shaves, in the middle of the jungle, with a knife, and NO SHAVING CREAM, MANLY AS ALL HELL
Post a Comment