Last post of the year

Today is the last post of the year for me, I'll return sometime next year in case anyone cares. Now onto sports and someother things

Badgers
Our Badgers (ranked #24 in the AP poll and #22 in the coaches) came off their 2 week hibernation and beat the Louisiana Tech Nosepickers in a game that wasn't even as close as the final score of 78-52. All this game did was pad the stats of the Badgers. They are off to a 10-1 start and halfway to the mythical 20 wins needed to get into The Dance, which they won't have a problem making barring a meltdown of Martin Lawrence proportions. The Badger players better find their suitcases as they go to Pittsburgh for a game on New Year's Eve. Since they haven't been on the road since the loss at Wake a month ago on Nov 29th, I worry they may have lost their existing suitcases and have to buy new ones. This may lead to them getting some discounts due to who they are, and then we have Luggage-gate or something stupid like that.

Packers
Brett is supposedly talking like this is his last game. I have said all season long that I believe that this is his last season. We'll see what happens in the next month or so as I also believe that he will make a decision shortly after the Super Bowl. Brett's not going to keep the team hanging on deciding what they have to do from a FA and draft standpoint much longer than that.

The Greatest Video Clip Of The Year
Many of you probably have seen this, but I have to link to it: It's the SNL skit of The Chronic of Narnia Rap. The funniest thing I have seen SNL put out in quite a while.

Have a great New Years Everyone!

I hate thugs in the NBA

TJ Ford gets hurt last night in the Bucks loss to the Heat. He was fouled hard by James Posey and left the game after 4 minutes of play. James frickin' Posey. So one of the most exciting players in the league in Ford gets taken out of the game, and likely several more and will be affected the rest of the season because some scrub who has 8" and 40 lbs on Ford decides that he needs to foul hard. What a frickin' joke. Learn to play some defense. First Mark Madsen, career thug decides 2 years ago that he needs to knock out Ford with a hard foul and now Posey. These are 2 guys the NBA can live without. I don't want to hear about the NBA is a physical game and the players need to deal with it. There is physical play, and then there is thuggery. I got no problem with Shaq and Magloire going at it under the hoop. But hacking away at a guy driving to the hoop and airborne to stop a shot because you cannot stop him is just crap.

Time for more sports crap!

Yes, your repreive from sports is over. I certainly hope you all enjoyed The Adventures of Larry Legend, as I had an absolute blast making it. The owner of the Larry ornament, Shane, was quite pleased with the whole story and has forgiven me for stealing him. Amazing what buying a guy a Chipotle burrito will do for you.

Packers
They suck. Rodgers should play for 3 quarters on Sunday. He'll be against the Seahawks scrubs and second teamers, but it is necessary that he gets exposed to actual game experience. Next topic.

Bucks
Further proof that there is no "D" in Milwaukee, they lose to a bad Magic team. The Bucks are the 6th worst team in opponents FG% (46.3%) while being 17th in the league in making them (44.5%) themselves. They make up for this with their supurb 3 point shooting (4th in the league). Jamal Magloire hit the nail on the head with his quote after this recent game:

"I think we need to focus," said Magloire. "Do a better job of focusing. I think we're more interested in offense and scoring points than we are at stopping our man. That will catch up to us."

It did catch up to them last night. The Bucks are a good offensive team, no doubt about it as they avg 97.6 pts/game. But they give up 99.2 pts/game. You keep that up you will start losing games, and often. The Bucks make up for it with good rebounding (4th in the league, 3rd in offensive rebounds), but the D needs to improve.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode V - The Final Battle

Last time, Larry survived the Forbidden Jungle and now with the help of the Rescue Heros, he is off to save Polly. Now for the conclusion of our story (thank goodness!) in Episode V - The Final Battle.

Preparations were complete for Rhyno and Polly's wedding. Rhyno and Polly were at the beautiful wedding platform in Rhyno's fortress.

"All is set my love, as you can see the minister is here and not only that, he's the DJ as well. See how efficient and cost conscience I am." Rhyno says.

"My Larry will come for me," says Polly with obvious fear and concern in her voice, "he is my true love."

"Bah! He is dead and now nothing can stop me, Rhyno J. Cumquat from geting the girl of my dreams." Rhyno boasted.

"Your last name is Cumquat?" giggled Polly. Even the priest was stiffling a laugh.

"Shut up!" yelled an embarassed Rhyno and turns toward the priest, "Let the ceremony begin!"

"Not so fast." proclaimed a voice.

"LARRY!" squealed a joyous Polly.

Both Rhyno and Polly looked up and there was a tremendous battle going on with the Rescue Heros and the dinosaurs that were guarding the wedding platform.

"It can't be," said a dumbfounded Rhyno "how did you escape my gorgeous Nymphos?"

"Biff sacrificed himself and got them in a hot tub with beer so that I could come rescue my true love, Polly." Larry said triumphantly.

"You left gorgeous nymphos in a hot tub with beer?" Polly asked shockingly, "are you sure you're not gay? I mean, come on, that even sounds good to me..."

"Enough of that," Larry says, "it's time we had it out Rhyno. Time for the final battle."





After a back and forth battle with both combatants landing crushing blows, it was finally the basketball-quan-do skills of Larry Legend that ended the fight. The deafening "KAPOW!!" that was heard all the way to the Boston Garden (not the restaurant, the sporting facility) of his trusty Spaulding going upside of Rhyno's head ended the epic brawl.

Now Larry and Polly were together again, and all was right with the world. The birds could now sing, the flowers bloom and the rivers run.

Larry and Polly went back to their ski chalet, and to the victors go the spoils...

Credits

Written, Directed and Produced by Cheesehead Craig

Camera work by Cheesehead Craig and Rachel

Wardrobe and Art Direction by Rachel

Special Effects by Cheesehead Craig and Adam

Casting by Cheesehead Craig

Editing by Cheesehead Craig and Rachel

Set design by Cheesehead Craig and Adam

Polly Pockets represented by RachelReck, INC.

Catering by Cub Foods

This story was done on location at Cheesehead Craig's house.

No toys or Christmas ornaments were harmed in the making of this story.

All characters are fictional, any resemblance to any real person is only in your head.

This story is sole property of Cheesehead Craig, try and pass this off as your own, and I'll kick your ass.

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you enjoyed the story, let me know.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode IV - The Forbidden Jungle

In Episode III, we witnessed Larry and Biff in their struggle against the Nymphos. Biff sacrificed himself so that Larry could continue on. Now, Larry is on his way to see King Cheekymonkey in hopes that he can help Larry save Polly.

Larry crossed the great sea with the aid of the cuddling sailors and entered the Forbidden Jungle. The Jungle was full of deadly plant life such as giant man-eating Venus fly traps and large aloe plants. As ferns and ficus flailed furiously, the former fantastic Forward flung forth fabulously.

He did not care what damage was being done to him, he only cared for one thing: a double cheeseburger. It had been a long time since he last ate and he was hungry dammit! He decided that he must rescue Polly first. Because if she found out he stopped to eat while she was held captive, then he would never hear the end of it; and frankly he really did not need that kind of hassle in his life.

While Larry was busy daydreaming about double cheeseburgers, there was a loud shout in front of him. "Halt!" boomed a voice that shook him to his bones.

Larry looked up and saw a giant nutcracker.

"In order to pass to the castle of King Cheekymonkey, you must answer a riddle," said the nutcracker. "Answer it correctly and you shall pass unharmed, answer incorrectly and I shall crack your nuts."

"I agree to your terms, giant." Larry answered boldly. "Give me your riddle so that I may answer it and move on."

"Very well, what is the name of the compound that is essential to absorbing and retaining the scented essences of potpourri?" asked the giant Nutcracker

Larry answered confidently, "Given that I minored in potpourri at Indiana State, this is easy. The answer is a fixative, such as oak moss, orris root or cellulose."

"You are correct, and you may pass," and with this the Nutcracker moved out of the way and allowed Larry to continue on to the castle of King Cheekymonkey.

Larry approached the opulent palace of King Cheekymonkey and upon his arrival, the King and Queen came out to the balcony to see what this stranger to their land wanted.

Larry told his sorrowful tale of love lost and the hardships he had endured getting to this point in his journey.

The king was agast at the tale of the Nymphos and exclaimed, "You walked away from Nymphos in a hot tub with beer? What are you whipped or something?"

The Queen joined in as well, "I agree, I would never pass that up and frankly I would be ashamed of myself had I done so."

Larry was flabergasted, "But Polly is my true love, other than basketball. Doesn't that count for anything?"

The King and Queen conferred and decided that Larry was indeed worthy of help, despite being a wuss, after all he was one of the 50 greatest players in NBA history, even though they thought Magic Johnson was better. "We shall give you the use of the Rescue Heros to aid you on your quest."


Larry was thrilled at this offer. Furthermore, the King and Queen knew of where Rhyno's fortress was. Larry jumped onto the Rescue Hero's firetruck with them and off they went to save Polly.


Will Larry be able to get to Polly in time? Does Rhyno have one last surprise for Larry? Tune in next time for the conclusion in Episode V - The Final Battle.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode III - The Temptation

When we last left our heros, Larry and Biff were captured by Rhyno and were under attack by his seductive Nymphos. We continue with our story in Episode III - The Temptation.

Larry was helpless to the Nymphos attacks, his confidence already shaken by Rhyno's claims that Magic Johnson was a better basketball player, he was easy prey to the attention and affection the Nymphos gave to him.

Not only that, but the Nymphos were attracted to him as well. After all, what woman doesn't want a 6' 9"Midwestern, pasty-skinned, gangly man with a pathetic porn-star moustache?

"Oooo Larry, you're such a manly man," crooned the Nymphos as their hypnotic perfumes and poisonous kisses further weakened Larry.

"Magic never had this many women at one time," moaned Larry.

Biff could see that his friend was fading fast and he was as well starting to fall under their wicked spell. Biff then saw their salvation.

"Hey ladies," Biff called out, "care to join me for some cold beers in the hot tub?"

The Nymphos squealed with delight and ran to the hot tub, throwing off their clothes. Biff knew that no self-respecting Nympho could resist free beer and a hot tub.

As Larry came to, he saw Biff in the hot tub.

"Save Polly, I'll handle the Nymphos," Biff called out.

Larry stumbled out of the hideout, weakened by his encounter with the Nymphos and sad over the sacrifice of his friend.

"He sacrificed himself and took on all those Nymphos just to save me. Wait a minute, he's in a hot tub with 5 gorgeous Nymphos! That baaaassstarrrrddd....." Larry then collapsed as the poison from the Nymphos kisses was too much for him.

Larry came to a while later, surrounded by what appeared to be giant Care Bears in a bed.

"Where am I?" Larry asks.

"You are safe now, we all took turns holding and cuddling you during the night while helping the poison leave your body."

Larry felt a little uneasy looking at the Bears with their knowing looks at him as he wondered how they helped the poison leave his body. Suddenly he remembered Polly, and he told the Bears about his plight.

"We know someone who can help, King Cheekymonkey and his wife, the Queen. However, to get to them, you need to go across the great sea and through the Forbidden Jungle to their castle. We know of some sailors that can take you across the sea, they stop here when they need some cuddling after being at sea for so long.

Again, Larry felt uneasy about the Bears' knowing looks at each other and him. But Larry knew he had no other choice than to go with the sailors.

So Larry sets sail across the sea to the Forbidden Jungle to meet King Cheekymonkey in hopes that he can help Larry rescue his beloved Polly.

What dangers await Larry in the Forbidden Jungle? Will he be able to rescue Polly in time? How worried should Larry be about being on a boat with sailors who cuddle with giant Care Bears? Tune in next time for Episode IV - The Forbidden Jungle.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode II - The Chase Begins

Previously on The Adventures of Larry Legend, the evil Rhyno had abducted Polly in an effort to claim her for his own. After Larry and Polly's brother, Biff Pockabill, fended off Rhyno's henchmen, they discover where Rhyno's hideout is. Now on to Episode II - The Chase Begins.

Larry and Biff, acting upon the info Biff was able to extract from one of the henchmen, proceed to the nearest train station to catch the train to MegaBlockville, where Rhyno's hideout is located.

Biff informs Larry "The schedule says the train is leaving shortly, Larry. Let's get inside and purchase some tickets."

"When I get a hold of Rhyno," says Larry boldly, "I'm going to give him a one-way ticket to Knuckle Sandwichville."

"Dude," says Biff, "you gotta work on your one-liners. Now move those big, plodding feet of yours or we'll miss the train."

Biff and Larry enter the train station and as they get up to the counter, a large net is dropped over them.

"It's an ambush Larry!" yells Biff.

Biff and Larry struggle valiantly, but the net only tightens around them.

"Struggle all you want," says one of Rhyno's henchmen, "you have no chance of getting out of this onion bag."

"Where's Rhyno?" demands Larry, his eyes stinging from the onion scent still inside the netting, "What have you done with Polly?"

"Shut up," says the henchmen, "Since you want to see the boss so bad, we'll take you to him, but be careful what you wish for. As for your dear Polly, he's got plans for her." The henchmen all laugh confidently as they load our heros onto the train and take them to Rhyno's hideout.

When they arrive at Rhyno's hideout, the henchmen drag Larry and Biff in front of Rhyno.

"Well, well, well Larry, I will say this for you, you are persistant," says Rhyno "but this is the end of the line for you and your little friend."

"The name's Biff." Biff states boldly.

"What have you done with Polly?" demands Larry.

"Don't worry about Polly, Larry, I'll take gooood care of her. You know what they say, once you go Rhyno, you never go back."

"I thought it was 'once you go Rhyno, you can't get the stench off you'. Let's settle this like men, on the basketball court, you freak!" screamed Larry.

"Ha! As much as I would love to school you, I have other matters to attend to, namely my wedding to Polly. Oh, and by the way, Magic Johnson was a better basketball player than you." Rhyno said smiling knowing Larry's biggest fear is that of Magic.

"Take that back!" yelled Larry, sweating under the uncomfortable truth of Rhyno's words.

"You know it's true, not only was he a better basketball player, plus he also is a successful businessman and had his own talk show as well. Which is way more than you'll ever accomplish. Now, prepare to meet your end at the hands (so to speak) of my Nymphos! Bwahh hah hah! Farewell Larry and Larry's little friend!"

Biff yells out "The name's Biff!"

Suddenly, saxophone music starts to play.

"Oh, hello Biff," says a seductive voice. "You do look so strong and handsome, I cannot wait to do such... naughty things to you."

Biff and Larry are then set upon by the Nymphos. Biff and Larry are instantly smitten by these vixens. Will they be able to resist their powers of seduction? How will they ever find where Rhyno has hidden Polly? What the hell is that pink crap Larry is standing in? Tune in next time for Episode III - The Temptation.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode 1 -- The Abduction

As promised, no sports this week, instead I bring you The Adventures of Larry Legend. My neighbor Shane has a prized Christmas ornament of Larry "Legend" Bird on his tree. While Shane is away in Florida this week, I'm describing what kind of week Larry has had. Please note, you can click on the pictures to see the enlarged version of them, it's well worth doing. So, without further ado... Episode One: The Abduction.


We begin our story with Larry Legend and his fiancee, Polly Pockets off on a romantic ski vacation. Larry grew up in the midwest, and as such, winter does not even phase him, thus he does not need winter clothes, just his trademark Boston Cetlic jersey.

"Oh Larry, it's such a beautiful day for skiing isn't it?" says a love-struck Polly Pockets to Larry.

"Can you see a basketball court? I'm really itching for a game," Larry replies.

But what's this? It's the dastardly Rhyno behind them. He covets Polly more than anything, including deodorant, which is why he has to approch them from downwind.

While Larry is preoccupied with trying to locate a basketball court (because after all, 6' 9" men were not meant to ski and look goofy trying to do so), Rhyno pounces upon Polly.

"Larry!!" she screams as Rhyno carries her away.

Larry turns around to see his love being carried away by his arch-nemesis Rhyno. However, four of Rhyno's henchmen are in his way and things look bleak, even for one of the greatest players in NBA history.




Fortunately for Larry Legend, he is not alone. Polly's brother, Biff Pockabill (in the red hat and works at the ski resort), upon hearing his sister's cry for help has come to rescue her.

Seeing that he does indeed have backup, Larry goes on the offensive and uses his world famous basketball-quan-do martial arts training.

"It's time to show these boys how we handle thugs, French Lick style. " (this is a reference to Larry's home town of French Lick, IN and is NOT a homosexual reference, not that there is anything wrong with that)

A loud KAPOW!! can be heard upon his trusty Spaulding basketball hitting the head of the henchman. Larry and Biff make quick work of Rhyno's henchmen. However, in the fracas, Rhyno has escaped. Biff is able to get the location of Rhyno's hideout from one of the men.





Can Larry and Biff find Rhyno's hideout and save Polly Pockets? What dastardly plans does Rhyno have in store for our heros? Tune in next time for Episode II: The Chase Begins.


Edit: the comments section is back up, sorry about that.

Last day of sports for a week

The Journal Sentinel reports that the Packers are working on a multi-year deal with Aaron Kampman. He has definately had his best season and is worthy of a big contract. He is not overpowering, but he is quick, has great instincts and works his ass off. The article goes on to say that the rest of the DL have labeled him the most consistent lineman, which is outstanding. He has stepped up his pass rushing ability and should continue his improvement next season.

The Badgers won last night in a close one to UW-Milwaukee 74-68 to improve to 9-1 for the season. The Badgers are currently ranked #24 in the coaches poll, and are knocking on the door in the AP poll. For a team that wasn't expected to do much, they are certainly making some noise early in the season. The real fun is going to start at the beginning of the year when the Big 10 season starts. They will have #22 Iowa and #12 Mich St at home then on the road at MN, which is a tough way to start the Big 10 season, but these guys are looking to be up to the task.

In response to my title of this post, next week there will be no sports on this site. I am going to have a little something different for next week that I've been working on that I hope you all will like. I'll leave you with that teaser over the weekend. Come back Monday and see what's in store.

I got 8 inches

And I love it. There are some that don't like that much, but luckily my wife is not one of them. She enjoys it tremendously, how it looks and how much fun it is to play with. I just love the smile it brings to her face and how excited she gets when she sees it. True, it is a lot of work and after taking care of it, we both are sore and tired as it usually takes up to an hour or so. We gotta be careful as we don't want to injure ourselves in dealing with all of it. Nevertheless, last night we both had a lot of fun with the 8 inches.

I'm talking about the snow we got last night, what were you thinking about?

Another reason I won't pay for the Packer Insider

For those of you who do not know, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel has a section of their online paper called the Packer Insider. In order to see these articles about the Packers, you have to pay either a monthly or annual fee. To me, this is a total crock and blatant ripoff of Packer fans. It's not like these articles are written by nationally acclaimed writers that have info in them you cannot get anywhere else. These are the same guys that write about the other WI sports teams. One of these writers is Tom Silverstein. He laments in yesterday's article that the Packers latest win gets them further from Reggie Bush in the draft. He then states the following:

Mark the date: Dec. 11, 2005.

It could become as infamous in Green Bay Packers history as Dec. 18, 1988.
That fateful day 17 years ago was when the Packers beat the Phoenix Cardinals, 26-17, thus relinquishing the first pick in the National Football League draft to the Dallas Cowboys on the final day of the season.

All it cost the Packers was future Hall of Fame quarterback Troy Aikman, who went first to the Cowboys, leaving the Packers to make their ill-fated choice of offensive lineman Tony Mandarich with the No. 2 pick.

So according to Tom, the Packers screwed the pooch in winning a game and then getting stuck with having to trade for Favre instead of getting Aikman. Are you kidding me? What a hack. Yes, the Packers got one of the top busts of all time in Mandarich, but is he saying that it was a mistake to get Favre instead of Aikman? If so, then he needs to go write for the losers in Dallas and get the hell out of WI.

But it's not only Tom, oh no, it's also Cliff "I have no brain" Christl in this gloom-and-doom-woe-is-me mood. Cliff's column is entitled "Packers won't be Super next year without Bush". Give me a frickin' break. So they are writing off next season already because we likely will not get a player who may or may not come out (ok, he probably will, but still).

Umm, we still have the November offensive player of the month in Gado right? Sure, criticize him for being an undrafted FA, but so was Priest Holmes and somehow I don't think anyone was saying how the Chiefs needed to upgrade at RB. Is Gado as good as Holmes, don't know, but he's got a heck of a good start.

You cannot sit and lament about who you could have had in the draft, it will drive you nuts. Every draft there are players that are hyped that everyone drools over. Sometimes they work out, sometimes they don't. If Bush decides to hold out of camp and be a problem child with his contract, then comes in right before the season and hurts his knee (a la Kellen Winslow Jr.), then these guys will all be saying how the Packers were smart in not wasting a pick on Bush. By not getting Bush, the Packers can shore up areas that need more help than RB, like LB and DL (pass rushers would be extremely helpful) and make the team better. You remember that concept that the Patriots have used to win 3 of the last 4 SBs, don't you?

Would you pay for garbage like this? I wouldn't either.

From way downtown

The Bucks last night beat the New York Knickerblunders 112-92 for their 6th win in the last 7 games. That's a 20 point whoppin' ladies and gentlemen. This is on the team that the great Larry Brown is coaching. The Knicks were hyped in the preseason as possibly back on the rise thanks to the great Brown coming to coach them. Guess what? The Knicks stink. The Bucks beat a bad team how they were supposed to, and at New York nonetheless. The Bucks shot 63.2% from 3 point range... hold up, 63% from downtown? Not only do teams have to worry about the inside play of their big men, and contend with the leagues #3 rebounding team (#2 in rebounding differential), but teams also have to guard the perimeter on a team that for the season shoots 43% from 3 point land (#1 in the league by the way)? Forget about it! Gadz had another outstanding night with 18 points in 18 minutes (take that Lebron). Looking forward to the Bucks with home court advantage in the first round of the playoffs.

Jump For Joy

This is a scene that I could definately get used to seeing. The Packers celebrating a huge goal line stand in the 4th Q as Grady Jackson (the big 75) led the charge as they stoned 3 straight runs into the endzone on the game changing series of plays. Both Carroll (28) and Collins (36) not only had good games, but very good seasons. This stand was indicative of how the defense has played all season, tough. After a shaky first quarter where they gave up 13 points, with 10 of those given up after a turnover and special teams meltdown, and 96 yards of offense, they settled down and gave up 0 points and 145 yards over the final 3 quarters.

Samkon Gado was fantastic with 171 yards and a touchdown and the game saving shovel pass in the 4th Q that prevented a safety. Reggie Bush? We don't need no stinking Reggie Bush! Gado has proven that he can be an NFL starting RB. I'd be just fine with LB AJ Hawk, thank you very much.

Bucks
A tough win against the otherworldly Lebron James on Saturday night 111-106 where "The Chosen One" scored 52 points. Look at that for a second, 52 of the 106 points were scored by one player. Frankly, I'm glad that the Bucks do not have a player that can do this. You may think I'm nuts, but the Bucks have built a TEAM versus going with the one incredible player. Only one other Cav scored double digit points in the game (Ilgauskas had 20) and that to me is a detriment to the overall success of the team. The Bucks on the other hand had 5 players in double digits, not to mention Magloire pulling down 15 boards (nobody on the Cavs had a particularly good game on the glass). The Bucks have a good team that is learning how to win with everybody contributing in clutch situations, whereas the Cavs just have one superstar player that can dominate a game, but the rest of his teammates don't know how to help him and cannot be counted on down the stretch as they are too busy watching LeBron.

An Ode to Chuck Norris

Here are 15 things that you may not have known about America's most manly man, Chuck Norris.

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
4. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
5. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
7. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
8. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after this all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
9. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
10. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
11. Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
12. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
13. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
14. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
15. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck.

Melvin is a stud, and other items

The Brewers were very active at the Winter meetings this year so far with the long-expected
trade of Lyle Overbay. The Brewers get a solid SP in Dave Bush and 2 very good minor league prospects in highly touted Zach Jackson and Gabe Gross. Not only did Melvin make this move, but he also brings back Danny Kolb in a trade with Atlanta with giving up Wes Obermueller (thank goodnes). Kolb wilted under the pressure in Atlanta last season and thus they were willing to part with him for a player that the Brewers did not really need (or want). Kolb has a solid shot at regaining most of his form and success that he had with the Brewers 2 years ago, but this time he will be the setup man for Turnbow. The triumverate of Capellan, Kolb and Turnbow is a quite sweet one to have to finish games.

I'm positively thrilled at how good of a GM Melvin is. The Brewers are truly blessed to have a man like him in charge combined with an owner like Attanasio who is willing to build a winner and stay the hell out of the way of the people who can make it happen. For the best analysis on these deals, pop over to Al's Ramblings, who is IMO, the godfather of Brewers blogging.

Bucks
Well, one night after putting up their worst showing of the season, at home nonetheless, they go to Philly and put together one of their better ones against the 76ers in an 88-85 win. Huge buckets and FT down the stretch and capitalizing on the Sixers mistakes were key in the last 2 minutes. Magloire was a monster with 14 boards and Bogut had a much improved night with 8 boards, 6 assists, 3 steals, 3 blocks with his 6 points, but his last 2 points were a putback with 10 seconds left to give the Bucks the lead. He didn't score much, but did everything else right. The Three Amigos at guard: Redd, Williams and Ford combine for 52 points, 10 assists and 14 rebounds; just a fantastic backcourt. The Bucks are in 3rd place in the toughest division in basketball with a 10-7 record.

Badgers beat UW-GB 82-62 last night to improve to 6-1. They should not lose any more games prior to the Big 10 season starting. That's when things should get interesting.

Since you asked

Because Shane did have the stones to state what rule changes he would make to the NBA the other day, I will do the same that way he'll stop whining like a some Viking fan.

• Changing the quarter length from 12 minutes to 10 minutes. This speeds up the games and makes possessions that much more important to get a better shot. Could also encourage teams to utilize a running game more, which is typically more exciting to watch.
• In response to the shortened time of the game, foul limits would then be reduced to 5. This would also encourage teams to build deeper teams as 9 man rotations would be more common as coaches have to be more aware of foul issues. Players also would be forced to play more soundly on defense.
• Timeouts for the game would be changed to 1 full timeout and 3 20 second timeouts per half. Current rules have 4 full timeouts and 3 20 second timeouts over the course of the game, I believe, and coaches tend to save most of them for the final 2 minutes. There are plenty of TV timeouts during the game for teams to take advanage of.
• Change the 3 point line from 23' 9" to 22' 1", which is still farther out than the international line. Time to bring the 3 point shot back as a strategic element to the game. This would help offset the scoring lost with the shortened quarters.
• All teams play 4 games/week, with the week around the All-Star game off. This increased schedule shortens the entire length of the season by about a month and a half and again, requires teams to be deeper as players would need some additional rest.
• Playoffs in the first 2 rounds are best of 5. It's playoff time and teams need to bring it right from the start. If you can't, you didn't deserve to be there. Also, only 6 teams from each conference are in the playoffs, with the top 2 teams getting the first round bye. This rewards good play in the regular season, thereby making those games more meaningful.
• Phil Jackson would be banned from the NBA, I hate that smug bastard.
• All other rules remain the same.

There you go. I will not go into the economics of the league or anything like that. I am in full agreement with Shane on the camera angles, I hate when they switch the views. It's like some damn moron is proving he can be the next great director.

I go and say the Bucks will beat the Lakers yesterday and then they go and put forth one of their worst efforts of the season in a 108-91 loss, at home. The Lakers converted 18 turnovers into 27 points and outrebounded the Bucks as well. Lamar Odom decides that last night was a good time to show up this season with 24 pts, 9 rebs and 8 assists. Smush Parker adds in 20 points and more importantly 7 steals, and of course Kobe dropped 33.

I stated that Bogut and Gadz would get more playing time with Smith and Simmons being out and they did do well while out there. Bogut had 8 pts and 8 rebs in 21 minutes and Gadz had 12 pts and 8 rebs in 19 minutes. Bogut frankly needs to do better as a starter as he's kinda disappeared in the last 3 games and has not been breaking double digit points. Yes, he's a rookie, but he's the #1 overall pick and should be putting up better numbers. Simmons was able to play some last night and the Bucks definately need his defensive effort as it was sorely missing last night.

Given my complete ineptitude in predicting games lately, I'm going to hold off on any predictions for tonight's game against the 76ers.

Today is fun day!

In the days of old, when Genghis Kahn's men were running over Asia, they set their sights on further shores. Rather than 'huns', these warriors were known as Kahn's men, or simply, Kahns.

When they had conquered all the way to the water's edge, they built boats, gathered their loot, and bravely went to sea. By a sad twist of fate, they encountered an island of lepers, which resulted in most of the crew being infected.

Hastily leaving that island, they set sail again, but by the time they reached Ireland, there wasn't much left of them. Disembarking on stubby limbs, they set forth, but were soon set upon by the natives for the riches they carried.Rotted away, but still clever, they hid on the island and awaited rescue, and the locals never did get their hands on the treasure.

And that's how the story of the little people got started in Ireland - the leper Kahn's and their pots of gold.

Thanks and tip your waitresses everyone!


For some further fun, see how I toy with my neighbor Shane over at The Greet Machine in regards to his discussions on the NBA and college hoops. I know I should feel sorry for him and not subject him to my brilliance, but I cannot help myself sometimes.

Bucks
My buddy SBG's favorite basketball player, Colorado Kobe, and his teammates the Lakers come to the Bradley Center to take on the Bucks tonight. The Bucks should continue their league leading ability to dominate the glass, even without Joe Smith and Bobby Simmons. Smith is out for 2-3 months with knee surgery, but that just means more time for Bogut and Gadz. Gadz is a rebounding machine and has done very well when called upon this season from the bench. I have a feeling that these 2 players will have good games tonight in another Bucks win.

Not a bad weekend overall

This past weekend saw a lot happen with WI sports, and I'll get to that in a moment. First, the highlight of my weekend was going shopping with my wife. I know that many of you are reading this and thinking I am just pandering to my wife, but I'm not. I have been in a deperate need for a new work wardrobe for a long time. My wife took me clothes shopping as her birthday present to me and it was great as I have absolutely no sense of style. I'm 6'3" and thus have to get big/tall clothing items and our first stop to JCPenny was disheartening to say the least with their poor selection. However, the feeling I got at Eddie Bauer was akin to how the Isrealites of old must have felt upon seeing the Ark of the Covenant for the first time. The heavens parted and a light shown all about the store while angels sang and handed me shirts that fit and looked good and the sales going on there, which resulted in us getting over 50% off 5 real nice dress shirts made me drop to my knees and weep as it was so beautiful. It was great to restock the closet and throw out old crap I don't even wear anymore.

Buckin' good times
The Bucks win games at Washington and home against Orlando. I said time and time again last season that Mo Williams was a good player. Oh and now ESPN on their Power Rankings (Bucks are 8th) state: "Folks have been excited about Bucks' depth ever since the Magloire trade. That was before anyone had even mentioned Mo Williams and before he started tossing in game-winners." I said it first Marc Stein, take that!

We know what's in the Badgers wallet!
That would be the Capitol One Bowl on January 2nd on ABC against Auburn. What a fantastic way to end the season for Barry. I'm not going to lie, this is an extremely tough game and the Badgers should be double digit underdogs. Nevertheless, I'm going to enjoy the hell out of this moment and the game itself.

Badger Hockey
This great quote from USCHO.com describes the weekend sweep the #1 Badgers had over the Goophs : "Friday, the Wisconsin Badgers got a monkey off their backs at Mariucci Arena. On Saturday, the Badgers drop-kicked the monkey into the next county." This quote just makes me smile and giggle. Oh and in case anyone is wondering, that would put the Border Battle at 140-100 Advantage: WISCONSIN!

Packers
I'll have a comment on their running for the Reggie Bush sweepstakes tomorrow over at The Frozen Tundra.

Bear week

It's Bear week and frankly, I hate the Bears. I hate just about everything about them, their stupid stadium, their smelly fans, don't even get me started about the whole "Super Bowl Shuffle" thing. Even though I live in MN around Viking fans (speaking of smelly), I still hate the Bears far more than the Vikings. Having been born and raised in SE WI, I got more than my fair share of exposure to these vile creatures. They have no respect of what is good in this world. For proof of this, just look at how they treated Payton during their SB win. I want the Packers to not just beat the Bears, but to obliterate them. So there you have my rant about the Bears, and yes, I have issues on this subject. For more Bear/Packer stuff, head on over to The Frozen Tundra for the latest preview with a blogger from the Bears.

In an article over at the Journal Sentinel, it is noted that the Packers have a hard time covering tight ends. Not that this is a big surprise as the LB are not very good in pass coverage and Roman is terrible as well. As much as I would like the Packers to land Reggie Bush in the draft, AJ Hawk is looking like a better and better choice for this team.

Not quite up to the challenge

The Badgers B-Ball team fell to #22 Wake Forest last night 88-91 as they could not find an answer for Justin Gray (37 pts). Tucker (27 pts) and Butch (19 pts/ 10 rbs) played outstanding for the Badgers. The fact that the Badgers hung with a good program on the road is very encouraging. I did not think the Badgers would win the game, but they responded very well to two 10 pt defecits during the game and almost won it. The Big 10 is currently tied 3-3 with 5 games to go in the ACC/Big Ten Challenge which the ACC has owned for the last 5 years. Iowa and MI State should win their games, Indiana is going to be crushed by Duke (I f*cking HATE them!), MN will get spanked by Maryland and NW will probably lose to Virginia even though it will be the closest game of the 5. ACC will most likely win this series (again) 6-5.

Get that shit outta here!


The Bucks pulled off a glorious victory last night over the now 10-4 Dallas Mavericks at the Bradley Center 113-111 in OT. The Bucks were without Redd and Smith for the game and the rest of the crew came through big time. The game was sealed when Andrew "ROY" Bogut (19 pts 14 rbs) blocked Jason Terry's last second shot (see above photo from the JS). Comeback Player of the Year TJ Ford also was huge with 24 pts and 7 assists. An equally big contributor was Bobby "don't call me Russell" Simmons with 26 pts and 7 rbs. Unsung bench player Mo Williams dropped 16 pts to aid in the offensive onslaught. I talked about the depth the Bucks had at the beginning of the season and it showed in this game with 2 starters out. The Bucks are 7-6 and once again outrebounded their opponents. Like I said on Monday, they keep doing that and the wins will keep coming.

Hodgepodge

Thanksgiving at my parent's new place this year was a rather big affair. It was the first time in quite a while that all six kids were together with all of their kids as both myself and my oldest sister live out of state (she's in TX). So it was one quite full house, but a lot of fun was had by all.

We ended up staying at my sister Amy's house as her and her husband have a huge home, so there was plenty of room for all. They have a very nice dog that my kids just loved being around, and an evil cat that unsucessfully tried several times to kill us all in our sleep, but the dog took care of him each time.

Amy's husband Tom works for a construction company for his dad. Tom's pretty much in charge of the business and is the heir to the throne. So he used his power to take my son off to where the construction equipment is kept and had him sit in the cab with him of a huge excavator. Now, my 5 year old loves construction so he just about burst with excitement. Tom showed him how everything worked and even let Adam manuever the excavator around and dig a hole. It was awesome! No pictures unfortunately right now as my camera was at home and my sister had not sent me the pictures from her camera yet. Adam had a great time and was grinning ear to ear. Not too many 5 year olds can say they have worked some serious construction equipment. He even was saying that he wanted to stay and live with Tom and Amy so that he could work on the equipment all the time.

One of the highlights of the weekend though, was playing Texas Hold 'Em with Tom's friends. There were 10 of us total at the table and yours truly who has not played poker in about 1.5 years, walked away the winner and $100 richer. Once you find out who bluffs and how they play, your odds of walking away the winner go up tremendously. Winning the final hand with pocket kings (my first pocket pair of the night) certainly helped things out.

I had my 35th birthday on Sunday and it was good. I was given my gifts in bed by my wife and kids in the morning. My son had a huge smile on his face with the card and gift he got me, which was the game of Battleship. After we went to church, we came home, set the game up and played. After a long game, I ended up winning 5-4. Hey, I can beat my son at a game on my birthday so don't go crying about that I should have gone easy on him. You try intentionally throwing a game to a 5 year old and see how easy it is. Oh and Shane, I think we have our final event for the Backyard Border Battle to go with chess and bowling.

Packers
I totally disagree with Bob McGinn about his article on why the Packers lost the game. He states that the defense is at fault for not being able to stop a team at the end of a game. They should not be in that spot to begin with as I point out at The Frozen Tundra.

Badgers
With their win in Hawaii, they finish the regular season with a 9-3 record and the Capital One Bowl in their sights. The officials from the bowl have said that unless Ohio State gets screwed by the BCS bowls, that the Badgers get the nod. A January 2 bowl is a great way for Barry to go out.

Brewers
A great article by Tom Haudricourt over at the Journal Sentinel about Bud Selig, and what a great commissioner he has been. I could not agree more. He has his critics and has made some mistakes. But his successes have been outstanding and frankly the game is much better than it ever has been.

Bucks
After the great start, they have cooled off a bit. I am not too worried as they have played a rather tough schedule and are still looking good. They are outrebounding teams and eventually that will result into more and more wins.

One heck of a trip

The wifey and I were in attendance at the latest Packer debacle this past Monday night. It was a great time despite how the game ended.

My mother-in-law arrived on Sunday afternoon and Rachel and I were off to Sheboygan to spend the night with her cousin. They had bought a home there and we had not been able to see it as of yet (given it is 5.5 hours away, you can see why). They have a beautiful home on a 31 acre plot of land. It is heaven on earth for her cousin's nature-loving husband.

One quick note on the drive to Sheboygan. We were on Hwy 29 and there was a trooper on top of a bridge that went over the highway. I noticed him too late and thought I was busted. After passing under the bridge, I looked back and saw him start to go towards the ramp. I was doing about 73 mph (65 mph zone) and started getting my wallet ready for the officer and I even began apologizing to Rachel. We saw the officer turn on his lights, but as luck would have it, he was getting the guy who was 2 cars behind me! Whoooo!

On Monday we drove up to Green Bay and went to Lambeau Field to visit the Packer Hall Of Fame and have lunch at the stadium. Rachel was dressed to kill and looked gorgeous. There were at least a dozen guys while we were there who gave her long looks and checked her out as she walked by. It's so cool having a hot wife! The HOF is just a wonderful place to visit as I still get chills with some of the radio and TV highlights from days gone by. The food at Curly's Pub is a bit pricey, but it is fantastic. We split a fish fry plate for an extra $2 (which was still a lot of food) so that we could dive into the tailgate later on.

After both of us made our contributions to the local Native American tribe (aka losing money at the Oneida Casino) it was off the hotel to quickly change into gametime attire and off to the tailgate as part of our package from Fuzzy's bar.

It was a festive atmosphere at the tailgate, even though it was inside the Reusch Center which is a block from Lambeau Field. Brats, hot dogs, cheeseburgers, potato salad, baked beans, chips and cheese and cookies galore awaited us. They had a DJ playing and he was doing a contest as to who had come the farthest to the game, there were fans from NY, CA, FL and Alaska. But the winner was a soldier who had just come back from Iraq. He got a nice round of applause.

After a while we left our tailgate party to check out how the tailgating was in the parking lot at the stadium. It was incredible! The smell of steaks and brats was like ambrosia to the senses. There were Viking and Packer fans intermingling and having fun, it was great to see. There was a 5 piece band going around playing polkas and other songs for the tailgaters. One of the funniest things was that a guy was tailgating and had a deer he had killed earlier in the day on top of his car. What the hell?

Upon arriving at our seats in the stadium, my wife was simply in awe. Even being 42 rows up, you did not need binoculars to see the action. The views in the stadium are just outstanding. Needless to say, Rachel was duly impressed. The fans around us were fun and there were no problems between the Viking fans and the Packer fans during the game. The game did not end as I would have liked it to, but it was a great experience nonetheless, even though we could not feel our toes in the 4th quarter. A pleasant drive home ended a great 3 day trip with my wife.

I'll update the site next week as we are now off to my parents for Thanksgiving. Have a good one everybody.

Update: I completely forgot to plug my latest entry at The Frozen Tundra: A Tale of Two Cities.

Are you ready for some football?

This Sunday I'm off to the motherland to pay homage to America's Team at the Mecca of sporting facilities. That's right I'm off to Lambeau Field in Green Bay, WI to see the Packers on Monday Night Football to do what I like to call: kick the holy hell out of the Vikings. It should be a fun trip with my wife as it will be her first professional football game that she has attended. We'll be staying with her cousin in Sheboygan on Sunday night, then having a nice leisurely drive to Green Bay on Monday and even go to the casino there and play what I like to call: a little blackjack. I'll give you all a recap of the trip on Wednesday next week.

Fun Links (and I don't mean the sausage racers)
Fun video about the Vikes from Packer Palace. These guys have way too much time on their hands.

Nasty NFL hits throughout the years. Some completely memorable hits like Earl Campbell running over defenders, Atwater's hit on Okoye and yes, Joe Theisman's injury is on there at the very end, so if you have a weak stomach just stop watching at that point.

My blog's worth over $9k, how much is yours worth? (Poor Shane gets the goose egg)

Michael Redd is a very classy person. He essentially built a church for his father's congregation. Cost him millions apparently. Many "experts" questioned the wisdom of the Bucks giving him such a big contract in the offseason. Something tells me they did the right thing as he may just be the best man in the NBA.

The Fab Five

It's back! My segment where I surf the Net (or actually just the blogspot blogs via the 'next blog' button in the upper right corner) so you don't have to. I'll also give summaries of the sites for your amusement. So, without further ado, let's see what's out there...

Voronha
A wonderful site from Uruguay (in Spanish mind you) where we see the life of a pimp partying with his women. Lots of pictures of him and his stable of lovely ladies partying in a bar. You can actually see money exchanging hands between the ladies and the Johans (that's Johns in Spanish). Next family trip, Uraguay!

Your Ants Resources
Quite possibly the oddest blog I have ever run across (and this includes the Greek ones). It's a blog about ant news, ant jokes and other ant-related items. The author is obsessed with killing and destroying them. He has even made an ant prison for them, but they keep burrowing out under the walls or just climbing over them and escape. This prompted a change in tactics and he just started napalming the little bastards.

Pouco Sozinho
A Ukranian site by a lady who lists all of the things you can buy her and places you have to take her to have her be your mail order bride. As an added incentive, she has a picture of her feet to titilate you into ponying up the goods. Ooo la la!

Life in a Tiny Pond
A teenager's blog in Malaysia. She offers her latest dream where things are wierd and she seems confused all the time. But, it's better than her real life when she wakes up, so she goes back to bed.

Stick and Ball Guy
Hmmmm, this blog looks familiar somehow. Anyway, it's this sports writer wannabe who writes about how he loves trains, sticks and balls (Freud is having a field day with all this by the way). He has this obsession with Kobe Bryant, Derek Jeter and Kevin Garnett that is beyond healthy (again, Freud is salivating over this).

I like big Bucks and I cannot lie

The Bucks do it again. For the 3rd time in 4 wins they come back in the 4th quarter and pull out the win, this time Mo Williams with the cold-blooded 3 pointer at the buzzer to win 103-102 over the Indiana Pacers. The Bucks are proving all the pre-season doubters wrong so far with their incredible never-say-die play. They have a tough test coming up with a 4 game road trip and 3 of those games coming over 4 days. Should be a good barometer for the season as to how they do on this trip.

Badgers
They could not send off Barry with a W in his last home game, which was disappointing. The Badgers got outplayed from the 2nd Q on by the Hawkeyes. A win against Hawaii in 2 weeks along with some help from some other teams could still land the Badgers in a January Bowl game, which would be a great way to end the season.

Packers
My latest Packer musings are over at The Frozen Tundra, I call it: You Gado be kidding me.

She's leaving me (but coming back)

My wife is going to a Hearts At Home conference in Rochester tonight and tomorrow. It's a great time for stay-at-home moms to get together and have some Christian fellowship. My wife has always come home from this in a great mood and speaks very highly of the experience. She is looking forward to the 1.5 days away and she absolutely deserves it (and more). She's been working quite a bit lately and is needing this.

So this afternoon and tomorrow I get the kids all to myself. Not sure what we're going to do yet, but we'll have fun somehow, because after all, I'm a fun guy, just go ahead and ask me.

Bucky Badger
Barry's last home game as coach is this Saturday against the average Hawkeyes. It's going to be an emotional day not only for him, but for the fans as well. Even though the Badgers defense has been battered, I expect an inspirational game tomorrow, culminating with a big win over the Iowegians.

My "Ying and Yang theory" was destroyed last weekend when both the Badgers and the Packers lost. So this weekend they should both win then to help balance things out.

Good Old Shane
Well it seems that me calling him out and mocking him has paid off as Shane has decided that he does want to continue the Backyard Border Battle. We will be going bowling sometime in the near future so stay tuned to hear how I whip him in this event, thus solidifying what I like to call: the superiority of the WI side of the backyard.

Called out

I have heard from many a loyal reader of the Oracle the following question:

"What's happened to the Backyard Border Battle with Shane?" (Ok, they don't use a hyperlink when they ask, but you get the picture)

What has happened to it indeed. I have to answer these die-hard fans of the site that I really don't know what the status of this illustrious (and now famous) competition is. However, the fact is that I do know and today I must say something about it.

It's all Shane's fault.

Ever since I started winning events, including the last 3 of croquet, Stratego and mini-golf (oh, I'm up 4-2 by the way) Shane has been more and more reluctant to engage me in any sort of competition. He won't even rake leaves at the same time I do for fear he will be put to shame by my superior raking ability.

Today however, I'm calling you out Shane. I will no longer accept the lame excuses that you give for ducking me. Such infamous excuses such as:

• "I've got to be a den mother for my son's scouting troop tonight, I'm teaching them how to make pretty dresses."
• "I'm in the middle of this really great book on how they made potpourri in the year 1656."
• "I have Bible study tonight, and I cannot miss how the book of Numbers ends!"
• "I have to go wash my mom's hair tonight, then after that I need to hold the yarn while she knits."
• "I had a rather rough encounter with a daddy-longlegs spider earlier this morning and I still have not recovered from that brush with death."

It's not going to work anymore Shane, you have to face me. Time for you stand up and be a man.

Packer Mid Season Review

I have a Mid Season Review over at the Tundra with 3 special guests giving their input. It's a bit lengthy but, overall a good read as we each tackle 6 different topics.

Broken Record

The title will take you to The Frozen Tundra for my latest Packer babblings, they are just depressing this year. It was bound to happen and long overdue.

The Badgers lost to Penn State and thus are out of the running for the Big Ten title. It wasn't surprising that they lost as the defense just cannot handle good offenses. A ranking of 19 is fair for this team and a 10 win season is definately achievable.

The Bucks are the best team in the NBA with 3 4th Q comebacks this season already. I have an official man-crush on TJ Ford.

Not much today, I got a lot to do.

Days of our Packers

The continuing stoooooorrrrry of Pack who's gone to the dogs.

Today over at The Frozen Tundra I have a Packers/Steelers preview with Mike Boyko who blogs for the Steelers.

Other Packer items of note:

• Joey Thomas gets cut from the Packers. Given he was their nickel back this was surprising. His attitude was his downfall as he simply would not recognize his flaws and refused to be coached did him in. I have no problem with a move like this and maybe this then lights a fire under Carroll that this could happen to him and thus forces him to improve his game.
• Brett Favre states that should Sherman go, that he would retire. His reasoning is that it's too far along in his career to learn a new offense. Frankly I agree with him, after 14 years there's no reason to start over. As I said at the start of the season, enjoy this year as I believe it will be Favre's last one, and now with him tying his fate to that of Sherman, who is likely gone at the end of the season, it seems an even more likely scenario.
• Al Harris should be a Pro-Bowler this year, he has been absolutely dominant in coverage

Bucky Badger

The Badgers have a game that is essentially for the Big Ten title this weekend at Happy Valley against Penn State. Penn State wins, they just have to win their last game at MI State for the title. WI wins, they just have to beat Iowa at Madison for at worst a co-Big Ten title with Ohio State. This game matches up one of the best offenses in the country (Badgers) versus one of the best defenses (Penn State). Should be an outstanding game. Badgers will win though, no doubt about it.

You can't stop the Bucks

You can only hope to contain them!

The Bucks started out the NBA season last night with a huge road win over Allen "I have to take 30 shots a game" Iverson and Chris "Not if I do first" Weber 117-108 in OT.

This season's Comeback Player of the Year, TJ Ford pushed aside all concerns about his health with a blistering line of 16 pts, 14 assists and 9 rbs; yes you read that right, kid misses a season and a half and comes back to nearly post a triple double in his first game.

Michael Redd was his usual All-Star self with 30 points, including a 3 pointer to send the game to OT with 1.6 seconds left. Newly acquired Bobby Simmons was spectacular with a double-double of 22 pts, 12 rbs.

The big men were certainly not silent. Jamaal Magloire provided a solid 9 rebound night and Rookie of the Year Bogut put in a line of 13 pts and 9 rbs.

There were some concerns about the Bucks rebounding coming into the season, so the Bucks made the big move of trading Mason for Magloire. This move seems to have paid off as the Bucks dominated, and I mean dominated the boards with a 53-39 advantage.

I am really stoked about this year's Bucks squad. Getting back The Little Engine That Could, TJ Ford is huge for this team as he is the key to their success. When he is on the court, this team plays at an extremely high level. This team is poised to not only make the playoffs, but to contend for home-court advantage in the first round, I kid you not. The Bucks have tremendous starters and a solid, deep bench. The only problem is that they are in arguably the toughest division in basketball this year.

The Bucks are no longer all about Michael Redd. He's still "The Man", but this year he's got friends to help him out, and they got game, big time.

This season's prediction: 49-33, 3rd in the Central, #5 seed for playoffs.

The worst 8-1 team in the country

Who are the Wisconsin Badgers? You are correct.

There is nothing wrong with the offense of the Badgers, that's for sure. Calhoun is the best RB in the Big Ten this year (yes, this includes Maroney) with 1200+ yds rushing and 19 TDs. He is also an outstanding receiver out of the backfield, similar to a Warrick Dunn or Tiki Barber. Stocco is having an outstanding year in completing over 60% of his passes and putting a lot of pressure on opposing defenses with his play.

The defense however is another story. Granted, they lost 8 starters from last year and have massive injury problems this season. They are playing the classic bend-but-don't-break defense and have the "W"s to show that it's working. I think the world of Bielema and the job he has done this year, but the 400+ yard games against his defense are going to bite him big time someday, and that day might be at Penn State this weekend. Let's hope he can make some fixes in time for what is going to be the game for the Big Ten title.

And to further continue the "Ying and Yang" trend that I posted last week, the Badgers won and the Packers lost on the same weekend. This is now 7 straight weeks of the fate of the Packers being determined by the Badgers.

Buck, Buck, Buuuuck

Before I get into Bucks news, I have to say Happy Birthday to my beloved wife Rachel! Yes, we are going out for dinner tonight at a restaurant of her choosing. The sitter is all set and we are looking forward to a fun night.

The Bucks came to a very interesting trade yesterday with Desmond Mason being traded for Jamaal Magloire. Now, I am a big Mason fan so my first reaction was that this was about as useful as another folk singer back in the 70's. However in looking at the trade a bit more closely, I do like it. There was a logjam at the #3 with Simmons and Mason with Welsch coming off the bench. Simmons is an excellent defender and can score as much as Mason does. I'm not too thrilled with giving up a 1st rd pick next year, but if Magloire gets them to the playoffs, I can live with it.

Magloire is a solid center with an All-Star history and is just entering his prime. The Bucks beefed up a rather weak frontcourt with a bonafide center. Magloire is a solid scorer and rebounder and is going to be able to body up to the big boys around the NBA, thus enabling Bogut to play some at the PF slot with Smith and giving him more time to get acclimated to the NBA. Plus with Magloire inside, teams cannot just focus on the Bucks perimeter players on the defensive end.

Starting lineup of Ford, Redd, Simmons, Magloire and Smith with Bogut, Mo Williams, Gadzuric and Bell off the bench is a solid 9 man rotation. Not too many teams out there can lay claim to that good of a rotation.

UPDATE: I've got a new entry over at The Frozen Tunda (link to the right) with a Bengals blog writer on the upcoming Packer/Bengal game. It's in the same style as the one for the Viking/Packer game I did with Mr. Cheer or Die. Take a gander and comment if you like.

Pie Poll

Fall is here and a men all over the country start turning their thoughts to one thing and no, I'm not talking about football or the SI Swimsuit issue.

It's pie.

Yes indeed, fall is the official season for pie. Why is that you may ask? Well for starters, women (namely our wives) now look for ways to use the oven now that the temperatures have dropped as a nice way to warm up the house. This leads to a natural increase in pie production. Men cannot resist a warm piece of pie when it's 50 degrees or colder outside. Women know this and thus use pie as part of their diabolical plan to make their husbands do extra work.

Being used for evil plans aside, pie is wonderful. So I've decided to see what are some favorite pies out there. We are leaving individual places to get pie out of the discussion as people (as ill-informed as they may be) have their preferences of who makes the best pie. We'll just focus on the pie itself.

My favorite has to be banana cream pie. It's rich, creamy smoothness is simply divine and is a veritable Mardi Gras of enjoyment for the taste buds. I am not alone in my enjoyment of this dessert, here are what some other notable people have said about banana cream pie:

"I cannot tell a lie, Banana Cream pie is the best there is" -- George Washington, 1780

"Banana Cream pie is so good, it makes me want to scream! Oh OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" -- Sam Kinnison, 1985

"This pie is so good it's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" -- Neil Armstrong, 1969

"Banana Cream pie essential to achieve enlightenment" -- Bhudda, long time ago

There you have it. Do you have your own favorite?

How Suite it is

Last night upon my arrival home from work, my wife informed me that my long lost friend Keith had just called wanting to know if I could go to the Wild game as he had an extra ticket. Given it was free, I jumped on the chance to finally go to the XCEL Center and see a Wild game. Upon my arrival, I was handed the ticket by Keith and looked at it to see where we were sitting. Immediately the word "SUITE" stuck out at me. I looked bewilderly at Keith and he just grinned as he informed me that one of his buddies won the tickets.

The suite (#32 to be precise) was located directly behind the goal that the Wild were shooting at for the 1st and 3rd periods. I met the reps that were there for Taylor Corporation that owned the suite and thanked them for the tickets and let them know this was my first time at the X. They laughed and said that I get to sit in the front row of the suite and let me know that we all could dig into the free nachos, fajitas and soda.

I was in heaven. I have admittedly given up on following hockey years ago, but being at the game in such great seats brought back a lot of great memories of watching and following hockey as Keith and I reminisced about when we grew up watching hockey on SportsChannel.

Even though the Wild lost 3-1, it was a great night.

This is the end

This song by the Doors just keeps going through my head when I think of the Packers. Go ahead and click the link over to The Frozen Tundra for sh*ts and giggles.

Ying and Yang

Sometimes one notices that a "power" couple that when together do well, but then when apart their individual fortunes change or vice versa. For example: Sonny and Cher, the easiest comparison. Together they had one of the more popular variety hours with Sonny's self-depreciating humor and Cher's tough-girl persona. They were on top back in the day. Then they split up and Cher has gone on to be an international superstar. She commands an incredible amount of respect in the music and entertainment industry, not to mention David Letterman's fury. Sonny on the other hand, in comparison was a total flop. Yes, he was by all accounts a fine public official, but compared to what Cher turned herself into and accomplished, he fell quite a bit short (yes, that is also a dig on his height).

Another example is Andre Agassi and Brooke Shields. Pre-Brooke, Agassi was "the man" of tennis. Winning Wimbletons and other grand slam events, getting huge promos thanks to his "rebel" image of Daisy Duke cutoff shorts fashion statements and was overall the face of tennis. Then he marries Brooke and his career takes a complete nosedive. He's injured, he is getting beat by nobodys in early rounds and tumbles embarassingly quickly on the tennis rankings. Meanwhile Brooke's career takes off with "Suddenly Susan" and comes back into the limelight. They divorce and Andre's career once again takes off and Brooke's crashes back to where it was pre-Agassi.

I bring this up as this season has shown that the Badgers and the Packers cannot win on the same weekend. Apparently their fates are intertwined this season and it's time for WI sports fans to recognize this. Look at their records and games this year, the lone Packer win came on the weekend of the lone Badger loss. It's an interesting phonemenon that doesn't happen often in life, let alone major sports.

It leads a fan to look at what is happening and decide which way he wants this trend to end up. Does one root for the Badgers at the expense of condemning the Packers in possibly Brett Favre's final season to an embarrassing end, or does one sacrifice the man who single-handedly resurrected the Badger football (and athletics) program in his final season as coach?

To me, it is truly a difficult dilemma, as I love both programs deeply. At this point the Packers season is beyond saving and let's have Barry go out with a bang. In the words of the renowned philosopher and huge Badger fan Rene Decartes: "F*ck 'em Bucky!"

In Favre We Trust

The Packers are going to kick the Vikings ass this Sunday! Go Pack Go!

It's Vikings Week!

Go ahead and click the title of today's post to see myself and Mr. COD talk about the Packer/Viking game over at The Frozen Tundra. You know you want to click on it, go ahead, treat yourself. Go on, click it... CLICK IT!!!!

THEY BLOCKED THE PUNT!!! (part II)

Today I shall talk about my adventures with Dave, Gabe and Tony after the Badgers glorious victory on Saturday.

So, I'm in this gay bar minding my own business... What? You want to know how I got to this point you say? Very well then...

After THEY BLOCKED THE PUNT!, many of the 30,000 Badger fans that were in attendance stayed for the UW marching band to go through a Camp Randall tradition of the 5th Quarter of playing songs and just having a good time for about 25 minutes or so out on the field. We danced in the stands and had a jolly old time.

We then walked over to 1st Avenue where all of the bars were taken over by Badger fans laughing, drinking and having a jolly old time. BTW, the Loon Cafe has incredible burgers and fries and I highly recommend them if you get the chance.

After being there for about 2 hours and several rounds, the 4 of us in my group decided to head out to a different bar. Dave, the outspoken one, wanted to find a dive bar to just hang out in where we didn't have to yell to be heard by one another. We were walking along and he decides that he wants to go into The Brass Rail. He doesn't consult anyone, just goes in.

Well, we have to follow him so we all go in. It's a pretty small place with about 12 or so people in it and after about 5-10 minutes he notices there are poles near the back. I goad him into giving a mock pole dance, to which he accomodates us. We are dying laughing at his performance, and he comes back and says "You know, nobody else was laughing, they were just watching. I think this is a gay bar." We all told him that yes it was indeed a gay bar.

Now, Dave is what you would call a fairly conservative Bible-Thumping Conservative Christian. This fact only heightend the enjoyment that Gabe, Tony and I had at the whole situation. I have to give Dave credit, he stayed there for about another hour and a half, and even accepted a round of drinks that some older, gay Badger fans bought us.

Thus brings me to the beginning of my post. So I'm in this gay bar minding my own business watching the end of the Notre Dame-USC game. USC just converted a 4th and 6 with a 50 yard pass. I yell out "Oh my goodness!"

Now, let me explain, I have 2 young kids and I really have to watch my language around them. I have trained myself not swear in just about all situations. It is just habit at this point. 5 years ago, I sounded like a truck driver and had no problems with that.

A gentleman at the end of the bar says "Who said 'Oh my goodness' down there? Butch it up!"

Needless to say, this caused another round of laughter from Gabe and myself as yes, he did say that phrase how the stereotypical way you would expect it to sound.

After Matt Leinert fumbles out of bounds which essentially wins the game for USC, I once again out of habit say "Oh my goodness."

The retort from the same man at the bar said "Oh my god, it was you who said 'Oh my goodness'. Butch it up sweetheart."

I then replied "Holy crap! I cannot believe that fucking happened!"

"That's much better, stick to the craps and the fucks" he replied.

We then left after that game was over and headed over to Kieren's Irish Pub for some scotch and Guiness. And there, Gabe flung not one, but 2 pieces of spicy pepper cheese at an Asian woman on the other side of the bar. And that my friends is how my story ends, one of the funnest days and nights out I have ever had.