Oprah Winfrey - Packer Fan

After yet another horrible loss by the Packers last night,24-34 to the Seahawks. I needed to chat with yet another loyal, famous Packer fan: Oprah Winfrey. So we got together at my place after the game to discuss how the team did and what to do about them:

CC: Thanks for coming by Oprah, I assume your International Foods Coffee is ok.

Oprah: Absolutely Craig. By the way, your place is gorgeous.

CC: Thanks Oprah. So, that was yet another sad loss by the Pack tonight.

Oprah: Oh dear heavens it was. I wrecked at least 5 of my TV's in my 48,000 square foot home.

CC: It sure was frustrating. So, where do the Packers go from here?

Oprah: Well, first off, I need to be put in charge.

CC: Really? You want to run the Packers? What would you do with the team?

Oprah: Yes I do. First off, I fire all the men on the coaching staff and replace them with women of all shapes, sizes and colors. No part of womanhood would be left unrepresented.

CC: Well, that's an interesting first step. Please, go on.

Oprah: Then, I would buy not only the staff, but all the players a new car!

CC: That's... something.

Oprah: I would have the players read books from my book club to help them become better players and people. For the pathetic secondary, I would have them read I Feel Bad About My Neck to help them with their problems of watching the opposing WR run past them.

The front seven would read How Stuff Works so that they see how teams running plays work so that they can stop them from having a RB who has been out most of the year from running over 200 yards against them.

The special teams definately need to read The Best Way to Play. They have been horrific this season and appear to not even be coached. They look like a bunch of Pop Warner kids out there.

For my dear, dear Brett Favre, he would have to read A Fine Balance, that way he can see the difference between forcing a throw to make a big play and just making the play to move the chains.

CC: You would have the team read books from your book club huh? That seemed to work out well with A Million Little Pieces by James Frey didn't it?

Oprah: Real funny Craig.

CC: What about having to deal with all the contracts and agents and stuff?

Oprah: If we win the division, I'd give all the players a new car!

CC: You really like that new car thing don't you?

Oprah: That's what I do. Besides, any agent or player that messed with me with all this holdout and contract nonsense I would flay him on my show and get all of America against him. After all, I AM OPRAH!

CC: Thanks for stopping by Oprah, you're truly an inspriation.

Oprah: Cars for everyone! Wheee!