Well, well, well. Reggie "Pinocchio" Fowler has apparently put some untruths about himself on his fact sheet that he released to the media and public as to his qualifications to buy the Vikings. I guess he thinks that if he wishes really hard, he can be turned into a real NFL owner. Enjoy your "savior" from Red, Queenies.
There have been corrected versions of the fact sheet out there now, but where has the original fact sheet gone? Lucky for you, my readers, I happen to have a copy. Here is the original.
Reggie Fowler Fact Sheet
Reggie Fowler, Prospective new owner of the Minnesota Vikings.
Personal information
Real name: Koffi Annan
46 years old or so
Raised in Tucson, Arizona
Two children that can be proven
Education
ITT Tech
-- Refrigerator repair degree
University of Wyoming
-- BS degree (BS, get it?)
-- Graduated first in class (first one announced at the ceremony)
Arizona State University
-- Completed MBA program in 6 months
-- Specialized in making bogus NFL team purchasing offers
Business
Mobil Oil Corporation's "Whiz Kids program"
-- Named Mobile Chemical's "Rookie of the Year" and “Best Dressed”
Founded Spiral, Inc., Chandler Arizona
-- Beats me what it does.
-- Business is currently the 11th largest in the 3 mile radius of the building.
Athletics
Youth
-- Starting pitcher for National Little League Champions 1975
-- Originated song “Take Me Out To The Ballgame”
College
-- Four year starter at outside linebacker, defensive tackle, quarterback,
center and kicker. Also was offensive coordinator, head recruiter,
head coach and radio play-by-play announcer at the University of
Wyoming for all 4 years in attendance there.
Professional
-- 1982, made Cincinnati Bengals roster of the National Football
League (NFL), sacked John Elway 7 times in one game.
-- 1983, employed by the Calgary Stampeders of the Canadian Football
League (CFL) as rodeo clown at halftime show
-- 1984, played on the Arizona Wranglers of the United States Football
League (USFL). Nobody remembers this league, so prove me wrong!
-- 1988, 1992, 1996 Olympic Gold medalist, ping pong
-- 1999-2002, 8 time WWF (now WWE) heavyweight champion
-- 2004, starting pitcher for Boston Red Sox
Pitched deciding games of ALCS and World Series
Miscellaneous
Invented Velcro
Won 1999 Nobel Prize for Science with volcano model
Co-author of all of Tom Clancy’s novels
High score on Space Invaders at Gametime at Highland Mall in Tucson, AZ
There have been corrected versions of the fact sheet out there now, but where has the original fact sheet gone? Lucky for you, my readers, I happen to have a copy. Here is the original.
Reggie Fowler Fact Sheet
Reggie Fowler, Prospective new owner of the Minnesota Vikings.
Personal information
Real name: Koffi Annan
46 years old or so
Raised in Tucson, Arizona
Two children that can be proven
Education
ITT Tech
-- Refrigerator repair degree
University of Wyoming
-- BS degree (BS, get it?)
-- Graduated first in class (first one announced at the ceremony)
Arizona State University
-- Completed MBA program in 6 months
-- Specialized in making bogus NFL team purchasing offers
Business
Mobil Oil Corporation's "Whiz Kids program"
-- Named Mobile Chemical's "Rookie of the Year" and “Best Dressed”
Founded Spiral, Inc., Chandler Arizona
-- Beats me what it does.
-- Business is currently the 11th largest in the 3 mile radius of the building.
Athletics
Youth
-- Starting pitcher for National Little League Champions 1975
-- Originated song “Take Me Out To The Ballgame”
College
-- Four year starter at outside linebacker, defensive tackle, quarterback,
center and kicker. Also was offensive coordinator, head recruiter,
head coach and radio play-by-play announcer at the University of
Wyoming for all 4 years in attendance there.
Professional
-- 1982, made Cincinnati Bengals roster of the National Football
League (NFL), sacked John Elway 7 times in one game.
-- 1983, employed by the Calgary Stampeders of the Canadian Football
League (CFL) as rodeo clown at halftime show
-- 1984, played on the Arizona Wranglers of the United States Football
League (USFL). Nobody remembers this league, so prove me wrong!
-- 1988, 1992, 1996 Olympic Gold medalist, ping pong
-- 1999-2002, 8 time WWF (now WWE) heavyweight champion
-- 2004, starting pitcher for Boston Red Sox
Pitched deciding games of ALCS and World Series
Miscellaneous
Invented Velcro
Won 1999 Nobel Prize for Science with volcano model
Co-author of all of Tom Clancy’s novels
High score on Space Invaders at Gametime at Highland Mall in Tucson, AZ
Real Reggie of the Reggie candy bar
2 comments:
You know, the sad thing is, the embellishments that Reggie made on the real fact sheet are almost as bad as these. My personal fave:
1983, employed by the Calgary Stampeders of the Canadian Football
League (CFL) as rodeo clown at halftime show
Yeehaw! Seriously though, could these inaccuracies stop the NFL from approving its first minority owner? I don't think so. I sure wish Taylor wouldn't have pussy-footed around though.
I seem to remember Mr. Fowler hitting 3 home runs in one World Series Game for the Yankees. Reg-gie! Reg-gie! Reg-gie!
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