Life is too short to eat fat-free cheese
Friday, December 23, 2005The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode V - The Final Battle
Last time, Larry survived the Forbidden Jungle and now with the help of the Rescue Heros, he is off to save Polly. Now for the conclusion of our story (thank goodness!) in Episode V - The Final Battle.
 Preparations were complete for Rhyno and Polly's wedding. Rhyno and Polly were at the beautiful wedding platform in Rhyno's fortress."All is set my love, as you can see the minister is here and not only that, he's the DJ as well. See how efficient and cost conscience I am." Rhyno says. "My Larry will come for me," says Polly with obvious fear and concern in her voice, "he is my true love." "Bah! He is dead and now nothing can stop me, Rhyno J. Cumquat from geting the girl of my dreams." Rhyno boasted. "Your last name is Cumquat?" giggled Polly. Even the priest was stiffling a laugh. "Shut up!" yelled an embarassed Rhyno and turns toward the priest, "Let the ceremony begin!"  "Not so fast." proclaimed a voice."LARRY!" squealed a joyous Polly. Both Rhyno and Polly looked up and there was a tremendous battle going on with the Rescue Heros and the dinosaurs that were guarding the wedding platform. "It can't be," said a dumbfounded Rhyno "how did you escape my gorgeous Nymphos?" "Biff sacrificed himself and got them in a hot tub with beer so that I could come rescue my true love, Polly." Larry said triumphantly. "You left gorgeous nymphos in a hot tub with beer?" Polly asked shockingly, "are you sure you're not gay? I mean, come on, that even sounds good to me..." "Enough of that," Larry says, "it's time we had it out Rhyno. Time for the final battle."     After a back and forth battle with both combatants landing crushing blows, it was finally the basketball-quan-do skills of Larry Legend that ended the fight. The deafening "KAPOW!!" that was heard all the way to the Boston Garden (not the restaurant, the sporting facility) of his trusty Spaulding going upside of Rhyno's head ended the epic brawl. Now Larry and Polly were together again, and all was right with the world. The birds could now sing, the flowers bloom and the rivers run. Larry and Polly went back to their ski chalet, and to the victors go the spoils...  Credits Written, Directed and Produced by Cheesehead Craig Camera work by Cheesehead Craig and Rachel Wardrobe and Art Direction by Rachel Special Effects by Cheesehead Craig and Adam Casting by Cheesehead Craig Editing by Cheesehead Craig and Rachel Set design by Cheesehead Craig and Adam Polly Pockets represented by RachelReck, INC. Catering by Cub Foods This story was done on location at Cheesehead Craig's house. No toys or Christmas ornaments were harmed in the making of this story. All characters are fictional, any resemblance to any real person is only in your head. This story is sole property of Cheesehead Craig, try and pass this off as your own, and I'll kick your ass. Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you enjoyed the story, let me know.
Wisecracks:
Wonderfully clever the last few days...I especialy like the Batman-like 'Kapows' and such.
Have a Merry Christmas. I can finally celebrate now that fellow Hoosier Larry Legend is safe, sound, and at least as it appears from the final part of the story, satisfied.
Thanks John, glad you liked it.
Just needed a break from the sports reporting and decided to have some fun. Larry is indeed, ummm satisfied, so to speak. Time will till if there are any more adventures, but I doubt it as Shane will probably have Larry under lock and key after he gets back from Florida. Merry Christmas to you as well.
I like this story much better than other Christmas stories. Who wants to hear about the three wise men when I can hear about Larry, Biff and Rhyno's struggles? This even beats my favorite Santa Claus is coming to Town animated special! Thanks, OracleofCheese and its extra special crew!
Well, all I can say is that it could have been worse. Let's recap: Larry is kidnapped from my house, goes through a series of hilarious trials to save his true love, and in the end he defeats Rhyno, and gets it on with Polly Pockets. All in all I would say Larry had a pretty good and eventful week!
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For the record though, I may be pasty and gangly, but I DO NOT have a porn-star moustache. Finally, for all of you that are wondering, Larry is safe and sound on my Christmas tree again. And although this isn't as bad as Craig putting "No Stadium Funding" in my home's front window, I will still be taking Craig's key to my house away the next time I leave. The cats can starve... Nice work Craig! It was fun to read! << Home
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