Friday, July 29, 2005

Barry's Farewell Tour

Barry Alvarez announced yesterday that this is going to be his last season as head coach for the Badgers. Truly an end of an extremely successful and wonderful era has begun. The following illustration shows how much of an impact he had:

15 years pre Alvarez (1975-89) 69-96-4 (.420) 3 bowls 1-2 record
Alvarez's 15 years (1990-2004) 108-70-4 (.604) 10 bowls 7-3 record with 3 Rose Bowl wins

The numbers are even better when you take out his first 2 seasons of a combined 4-16. Then his record goes to 104-54-4 (.642). That averages out to 8-4 record for the last 13 years. Ask any fan of another Big Ten school and they would welcome that with open arms. Except for MI and Ohio State, but nobody cares what they think anyway.

I was in my last year of college when the Badgers went to their first Rose Bowl (1994) since the reign of Queen Elizabeth (she was a Badger fan you know). Just the absolute chaos that went on on State Street (which I gladly partook in) the night they clinched and the whole mood of the campus from that point until after the Rose Bowl win is something I will never forget.

Barry has acheived a status in WI that few coaches in college sports have obtained. I would put him on par with Favre in the minds of WI sports fans. He put WI back on the collegiate sports map and made WI sports relevant again, and gave the university a renewed sense of pride. His creation of an extremely good football program and getting the UW sports finances turned around helped pave the way for the WI basketball success. He'll still be around, but I'm going to miss him on the sidelines. Here's to one more great season for Barry!

America's Team
The Packers have now signed 10 of 11 of their draft picks all that is missing now is Rodgers. Given he is not expected to start or play much this year, I'm not all that worried. That said, I would expect a deal to be worked out shortly and him in camp. Reports from over at The Railbird, my local contact in GB state that rookie Marviel Underwood is having a great camp so far. He has learned the defense incredibly fast and is making plays already. Let's hope this continues and carries over to the season.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Juuuust a bit outside...

Somehow Uecker's line from Major League seemed to describe the Brewers game yesterday. Runs score on a wild pitch, a poor throw from the Overbay to Ohka (that's like QB to RB distance on a hand off, right?) and a disatrous pickoff move bring in all 3 of the Diamondback runs. Ugh. Disappointing end to the series, but the Brewers won it and they keep winning 2 of 3 the rest of the way, well, that's what they call a "good thing".

A .500 record will not only be achieved, but surpassed this season for the Crew. Of that I have the fullest confidence in. In fact, I'm going to go on record as saying that the Crew will have a better record by the end of the season than the MN Twins. Yep, trying to get a rise out of all the Twinkie fans out there. I'm giving the Twins a 5 game lead at this point. I believe that the Twins are going to collapse. I believe that the Crew will win more than they lose going out. I also believe that Brad and Jennifer will get back together, so take all that for what it's worth.

Javon Walker is back in camp. Interesting development indeed. Somehow I have a feeling that he and Mr. Favre are going to be having a discussion face-to-face in the very near future. All this nonsense is going to be put aside and another wonderful season will come to pass between the two. THEN, JW is going to be paid, and paid he will be.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

House Guest

For the past 3 days, my father-in-law Jerry has been a guest of ours. Jerry lives in PA (Pocono Mtn area, where my wife was born and raised) and is really a great guy. He was in Wyoming for his annual 3 week fly fishing excursion, he had to cut his trip short due to some natural disasters (boat ran over a bush while he was floating downstream and his boat capsized, and he lost his rod in the process and a flip flop). So him spending a few days with us was unexpected but certainly welcome.

My wife hates being defined by what she does for a living when someone asks "What do you do?". This comes from her dad. He is so much more than just a job title. He is civil war re-enacter (I have had the privilege of dying in battle with him), a fly fisherman, a motorcycle nut, an artist, a runner, a goofy song creator, many things. What got him a paycheck was being a trucker (he's retired now).

It's always great being around him as he is just a fun guy to have around. He can dish out the smart comments and take them in kind. He is always ready with a joke or story and just wants to have fun. I love his one-liners of "Meanwhile back at the ranch, Grandma was beating off the Indians" (and yes, he means it that way) and after burping "that's not bad manners, that's good beer". He just cracks me up. I am really blessed with having great in-laws. Jerry, have a great road trip back to PA!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Grog Blog

Welcome all to a very special edition of Grog Blog. Grog has decided to explore his creative side and do his report from the latest Brewers road trip in the form of a poem. This should be if nothing else, interesting. Take it away Grog...

Grog in St. Louis
Where beer is always cold
Someone say "Brewers suck"
This line is getting old

Grog yell back to man
"Brewers will win at least 2"
He flip off Grog, pick him up
His pants smell of poo

Geoff Jenkins bat comes alive
Grog say "Your swing the best,
It almost looks as good
As my sweet Rachel's
" (hey hey hey Grog, we talked about this)

Grog pick up special sauce
To grill treat when he gets home,
Note to silly neighbor Shane
"Don't leave your cats alone"

Grog then fly to Cincy
Ken Griffey he wants to meet,
He swing a bat very well
His feet are very fleet (good huh? Grog use dictionary for that one)

We play fun game of cards
Texas Hold 'Em Poker
Ken and rest of team get cocky
But Grog smarter than Al Roker

Grog win lots of money
The whole Reds team takes a bath
But they win 2 of 3
So now they have last laugh

Now Grog finally home
Spend long time on flying ships
It's time to live for today
And plant a wet one on Rachel's lips

Dammit Grog! I'll be back tomorrow and hopefully Grog-free. Come back here you, that's it, time for a whoopin'!

Can't catch me Cheese Curd! She loves me! Ha Ha!

Monday, July 25, 2005

Technical Difficulties

*crackle* *crackle* *static*
Having problems today *static*
*high pitched feedback sound*
Anybody hear me? *wheeer* *wheeer*
Back tomorrow *static* *static*

Due to techinical difficulties, the Oracle of Cheese has been suspended for today. We apologize for any inconvenience and thank you for your patience.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Cup 'O Brew

Time for some actual sports stuff on the Oracle in this segment of Cup 'O Brew. You may be asking youself "Why would you ruin a perfectly good blog with sports analysis and stats?" Well, that is a good question and given that I have all these sports things all over my site like the WI team logos, the standings at the far left of the NL Central, and oh, can't forget the sausage racers. So I figured what the hell, might as well try something to appease the sports masses out there. Besides, the Brewers just had a game where 10 players (including 2 pitchers) got a hit in yesterday's 12-7 win. Go ahead and click onthe boxscore link to the left to see, I'm not kidding.

Let's look at the recent 4 game Brewer series against the dastardly Cardinals. First, a calculator and the hittling lines (AVG/OBP/SLG/OPS):

Mil .308/.363/.514/.877
StL .288/.331/.452/.783

Yep, we out-hit them. The Cards actually scored more runs 27-22 than the Crew, but the Crew split the series. But CC, the Cards pitching staff is by no means world beaters you may say, but if you do, you are wrong. The Cards staff is #1 in the NL in ERA and WHIP, #2 in OPS and #5 in BAA. That says that the Crew and their "poor offense" kicked the snot out of damn good pitching staff. The Brewers have still outscored their opponents overall this season. In fact, the Crew have scored more runs than either Washington (54 wins) or SD (50 wins), the current leaders in their respective divisions. A step further on this is that they also have scored more runs than the Angels (division leader, 56 wins) and the Twins (52 wins). This team is so ridiculously close to being real good it's scary (Boo!).

Last year, as you notice on the far left, the Brewers were 48-48 and in a middle of a 1-8 stretch. In fact, this is the last time that last year's squad was at .500 or higher. After this point last year they played .292 ball, that was a monumental collapse. This year's squad is showing no signs of playing over their heads at all. If anything they have underachieved. The bats are starting to come alive all through the lineup (read Jenkins and Hardy). The pitching is still very good as well, and Sheets is finally rounding into ace form.

There is much to be happy and optimistic about with the Crew. An above .500 record is within easy reach this year and next year will only be better. So raise your brews with me and have a Friday morning toast to the Crew. Hey, we're Cheeseheads, we drink when we friggin' want to!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Shocking News

Javon Walker is apparently not coming to training camp, big surprise there (smell that sarcasm?). Let's see some of the parts of the article:

"I have several concerns," Rosenhaus said. "One is equity. I don't feel that it's fair that Javon should play at that number ($515,000). " It's perfectly fine that Javon won't honor his contract though, that's equitable.

"the way things have developed there are just not positive. Everything that's gone on with Brett Favre and the team's really lack of flexibility, it's not a good situation." Oh, so it's Brett's fault now that you are advising your client to not play? Brilliant PR move Rosenholdout. Teams lack of flexability? It's called no cap room, moron, plus we'll just ignore the fact that Javon is under contract.

"We went through this with Mike McKenzie and he ultimately was traded and, I mean, I guess we're on the same path happening here. It's a shame." Yeah, we did, see how that worked out? MM still has no new deal after being traded, you advised him not to report for practices with the Saints and now he's such damaged goods, people don't want him and know they cannot rely on him. Brilliant! The only shame is that JW is listening to you.

"It's OK for Tom Cruise to make $50 million a movie? But a guy who risks his life can't get paid a decent wage? B.S. I'm not standing for it." Well, let's see, Tom Cruise is an international superstar and has a long proven track record of success. Also, if TC signs a contract to do a movie, he is not bailing out midway through demanding more money. Risks his life? You representing soldiers in the armed forces or police officers now? How many people have died playing NFL? Get a grip you loser. All you care about is the power you wield over the NFL and how much $ you can make. Javon's only recieved over $4 million already in just salary and bonus alone over the last 3 years. But that's BS and you won't stand for that cause you think you are the 2nd coming of Norma Rae Webster.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Holy Sh*t!

Brewers beat the Cards! What a comeback last night! That's all I got...

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Fix is on

Last night the Westwoodies lost to CIMA Labs in front of 5 disgruntled fans last night 13-4. The Westwoodies displayed a very poor effort in the field leading to speculation as to the source of this inexplicable lack of hustle. The source was found out in the 6th inning as it turns out that CIMA Labs was using an aerosol Valium spray against our heros. Even with Red Bull in the dugout, it was too late for the Westwoodies to counter this diabolical scheme that was implemented against them. The drugging combined with an extended absence from the team was too much for CC to overcome in a pathetic game at the plate going 1-4. Chants of "JJ Hardy" from the opposing team stung particularly hard. With all of the blatant documented cheating going on against the Westwoodies this year after 2 years of total domination in the league and nothing being done by the umpires, it can only be assumed that indeed the fix is on...

Brew Crew
The regular whooping by the Cardinals is back in effect. Nothing like playing the best team in the bigs on the road to ruin a perfectly good stretch of games. Jenkins has finally come out of his season-long slump and Carlos is showing some signs of coming out of his as well. I shudder to think what would happen if Clark, Weeks, Hall, Lee and Jenkins could do if they all played good at the same time.

Monday, July 18, 2005

The Fab Five

I was on Cheer or Die's latest podcast on his blog. COD is a diehard Viking fan, and I am on the broadcast along with SBG and Shane, I play the role as the outsider. We had fun making this and hopefully we will do many more.

The Brewers easily dismiss the (G)Nats, the current NL East leaders and take 3 of 4. If it wasn't for Bottalico's atrocious pitching, the Crew had a damn good chance at a sweep. The Crew is one of the hottest teams right now, winners of 10 of thier last 15. We will now take a 15 second break for dancing. (Oh yeah, it's your birthday, get your groove on). And to quote Al, Lord of the Manor or just Lord Al as I will be referring to him from now on: "This Weeks kid might turn out OK". I just might shell out the bucks to get his jersey. Weeks' that is, not Al's, I've never met Al nor do I know if he plays ball, either way I would not get his jersey, no offense buddy.

Here is a link to an interview with Prince Fielder over at Baseball Digest Daily. It's a good read and always nice to hear about the Crew's future All-Stars.

Now onto today's main event where I randomly go to 5 websites using the handy "Next Blog" button at the upper right corner and let you know about what other blogs are out on blogspot, and yes, to make fun of them. All in good fun.

The Puglets
Pictures of pugs and the man who loves them. Pugs are nasty, ugly dogs that love to scratch the hell out of people. The man's profile on his blog says "Love quiet walks on Clearwater Beach... care to join me?". Apparently he thinks close up pictures of these dogs will help him land a lady. OOOOOOKKKKK.

Blog a la pibil
A blog about 2 friends from LA who go off on a 2 month adventure into Mexico. The last entry involves getting peed on in the bus during a 12 hour ride, a search for the lost city of silver, and getting cheap drugs. The trip gets interesting after they imbibe mescal, which puts them on a hallucinogenic state where they end up naked on a float during a local parade. I gotta get to Mexico.

A Brazilian site written by a 23 year old man. Not a problem for CC, as I speak fluent Brazilian. Let me translate the site for you: I cannot wait for the naked, drunken women at Mardi Gras. I cannot wait for the naked, drunken women at Mardi Gras. I cannot wait for the naked, drunken women at Mardi Gras.

Shyloh's Poetry
Obviously a site of poetry by Shyloh, who believes in energy healing and using the energy and life around us along with poetry about peace and beauty. But we also must acknowledge the darkness in order to become one with ourselves... OK Shyloh, pass the bong, I need a hit of whatever you're smoking.

Who Understands
Dear goodness, this is a title that exactly describes this site. Thngs spld lik thz. Yep, one of those. But it's so friggin poorly written that I cannot follow it at all, and rumor is that I am a college graduate. It's like some damn language that twins have and only they can understand.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Grog Blog

Last night I got together at Mr. Cheer or Die's place for a wonderful dinner along with Shane and SBG and our respective families. It was a great time and everyone had a blast. Thanks again COD! After a fairly long wait time, Grog is back with his tantilizing tales of torturous titilating ta tas, ok I ran out of "t" words and this is just silly now.

Call this city, "City of the Big Shoulders", should be called "City of the Big Guts". Grog never seen such lardasses. Grog give 6 pack to security guard to get into announcer area. Have great time with Bob Eucker. Grog kick his ass in Cribbage. Skunk him twice. Grog get to sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" in 7th inning. Best performance ever.

Grog spend lots of time at the beach the first day. Fun snorkeling. Not able to catch many fish. Fall asleep on beach. Wake up sunburnt. Spend next 4 days in hotel watching Brewers on TV as too sore. Order lots of room service. Weeks call up Grog and make fun of him. Grog will get Weeks back, stupid rookie.

Grog better from sunburn. Grog hear city center of hip-hop, but Grog no find many frogs. Not sure why city called that then. Ones do find are tasty. Grog go to check out clubs with Bill Hall, Lyle Overbay and Rickie Weeks to celebrate after Brewers win 2 of 3 games. Men at door say Grog no enter has not have right look. Grog pick up each man in one hand and lift them up. Ask how Grog look from up there. Grog laugh and enter club with 3 women who met in line. Grog drink and dance lots. Grog get Weeks really drunk so he puke. Told you I get you back Rickie.

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Joke of the Day

I'm back from Nashville. Grog will be reporting tomorrow, as I have a lot of work to do given I was gone for a week from work. So I give you a joke of the day.

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

  • I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.
  • Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
  • There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
  • Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass everyday.
  • Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers!
  • In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.
  • According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.
  • According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
  • And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.
  • According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.
  • That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Flip one off? I think not......

Monday, July 11, 2005

Behold the power of cheese

Got back early from camping in the WI Dells on Sunday for a special presentation that I will illuminate you all on. My neighbor Shane had left for a family trip to South Dakota (apparently he lost a bet and HAD to go, the poor bastard) on Thursday morning. This past winter, he and his brood decided to build not one but 2 anti-Cheesehead snowmen at the entrance to and in the middle of my driveway when I and my family were out of town. My son and I quickly dispatched these abominations in the manner they deserved when we returned. I decided that now was my time for revenge. (Cue the dastardly music). I thought for while as to what could I do to get back at him, then it hit me, I needed to eat Pizza Rolls first to help me come up with something. Satisfying that urge, my creative juices came alive and realized what Shane holds most dear to his heart to which a blow would be most devastating.

"Is it
Daisy Fuentes on the beach?" you may ask. No, but that is a nice thought.

"Given his fascination with them, could it be
bikini-clad chickens on a beach?" Definately not, and shame on you for clicking that picture link you sick little monkey.

No, it is the source of his power, his pro-stadium beliefs that he spouts forth on his blog
The Greet Machine. I quickly went to work and came up with this:

A truly great work of art, if I do say so myself. Now you must understand that Shane lives on a fairly busy road and approximately 250 cars in addition to several dozen walkers/joggers go by his house every day and this was clearly visible from the street, being it was posted in his front window. This was up from Friday morning until Sunday early afternoon for all the neighborhood and passerbys to see.

Upon his arrival back home, Shane was completely flabbergasted, bamboozled and downright in a state of panicked disbelief upon seeing this. He quickly ran into his home to tear down the sign. Knowing he would do this and start with the word "NO", I had put a note on the back of it that simply said "Behold the power of cheese". Shane knew instantly that he was defeated and retreated to his room where he refused further comment, as all that was heard was a low groaning sounds, some whimpering and the words "The horror". Welcome home Shane!

Cup O' Brew
Hey there, the Brewers actually split one road series and win another against teams with winning records! It's almost like they're a real baseball team. What a fantastic way to go into the All-Star break being winners of 7 of their last 11. For more in depth analysis of the Crew, I highly recommend heading over to
Al's Ramblings as he is the king of all that is Brewer. He has a great article on Carlos Lee and LF AAA prospect Corey "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night" Hart posted on 7/7. I commented to him that that article was worth the price of internet this month alone.

Buck it!
Redd signs! Bogut signs! Stotts signs as coach! Signs, signs everywhere signs! I really like the starting 5 of Ford, Redd, Mason, Smith and Bogut. It could be a bit weak on the glass though IMO. The Bucks have to sign 5 more guys I believe to fill out the roster, although Gadz and Zaza are going to sign and remain Bucks. I'm excited to see how the season plays out this coming year and will predict right now, barring injury, the Bucks will have 48 wins.

Days of our Packers
I fucking hate Drew Rosenholdout!!!! That is all my legal department has allowed me to say about him at this time.

That should hold you all over until Thursday. I'm off to Nashville for a business trip until Wednesday. Grog will be posting his much anticipated road trip antics from travelling with the Crew on Thursday. See you then!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

On the road again

I got the annual family camping fiasco this weekend and then a business trip next M-W so I got lots to do. Have a great weekend everybody!

On a side note, why do I have the feeling that regardless of the city that was picked for the Olympics, there would have been a terrorist attack today in that city?

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Too damn tired

After 2 straight nights of my son waking up and puking and getting about 4 hours of crummy sleep each night, I am not in the best of moods. My wife has had it worse than me, which makes me even more amazed at her abilities as a mother and wife that she has kept it together.

The Brewers are doing a great job of beating a good Marlins team. Winners of 5 of their last 6, the Crew is really starting to turn up the heat and look to finish the pre-All Star game of the schedule on a really high note. "Laaaaaaaaaaaa!" That's the best humor I got right now. I'm giving a game ball to the whole offense with 16 hits. Well done gang!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Inappropriate things to say...

You all have been there, when a moment comes along while shopping or eating out when a thought or phrase comes to mind and you know you cannot say what you are thinking out loud, but damn if it doesn't make you laugh inside. Several of these happened to me while shopping at the local Cub food store this past week.

  • "Damn these bananas are so big, porn actors would be jealous."
  • "Those are some nice melons"
  • "No, I don't know the score of the Twins game, I'm in the grocery store like you, nimrod"
  • "No thanks, I don't want you to slice my salami"
  • "Wow, that case of Diet Coke will sure offset the 3 bags of chips and 2 packages of Chips Ahoy cookies, good thinking"

Also, this weekend marked the beginning of the offical Backyard Border Battle between myself and Slackjawed Shane. Currently there are 7 events: HR Derby, HORSE, Croquet, Mini-golf, Trivial Pursuit, Chess and Stratego. We each have the right to add events or make an event a best of 3. I easily took the HR Derby as Shane all but threw in the towel in the first round while watching my towering shots. Shane won in HORSE by having his kids grabbing at my legs and biting my ankles (little snots). Shane also won a very tightly contested game of Trivial Pursuit when one of his cats "magically" got out of the house when I was up 4-1. Plus my daughter gets soaked while playing with his daughter (coincidence? I think not). After this break in the action of finding the cat and me having to change my daughter into dry clothes, Shane is sitting on his porch smiling like the proverbial cat who ate the canary. I thought at the time this seemed odd, and then he suddenly goes on a huge run to tie it at 4-4. Yep, he read the cards, no other explanation is possible. So I'm down 2-1 to my "friend" who I underestimated in his willingness to win. Time for the hammer of cheese to come down on his sorry ass.

Friday, July 01, 2005

This will cost how much?

Well now, as you can see, I got into a little fender-bender last night on the way home from work. Thanks to my knowledge of the force, I was able to use my Jedi mind tricks on the police officer to make sure I was not at fault.

Police Officer: So what happened here?

CC (using the force, with hand motions): I am not the one at fault.

Police Officer: What are you doing?

CC (still using the force): The other person should pay for everything.

Police Officer: Are you on drugs or something? Maybe we should do a field sobriety test?

CC (once again, with the force): There is no need to write me a ticket.

Police Officer: If you don't stop that, I'm going to taser your ass to the ice planet Hoth. Got me?

Realizing I had complete control of the situation, I explained to the officer what happened as the 20-21 year old woman who drove out of the parking lot and hit the side of my car could only watch and listen in wonder as a true master of the force was at work. The good news was that nobody was hurt, along with me not receiving any of the blame for the accident (see the force did work).

I figured that those reading can use the force and put in a guess in the comments as to how much the damage was on my Corolla. Given that Shane has seen a first hand look at the carnage, I figured I'd share the same info as he has. Here's what I can tell you: I am going to need a new passenger door, new passenger side fender and a new bumper. I was able to drive it home and the alignment seemed fine. No fluids were leaking and my tire seemed fine. Whoever is closest gets the satisfaction of knowing that they could be working in a body shop doing estimates on cars.

My guess is Matt Wise's ERA x 1000. That would be $2530. I'll post the estimate that the woman's insurance company states I have to go with as the offical number.