The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode 1 -- The Abduction

As promised, no sports this week, instead I bring you The Adventures of Larry Legend. My neighbor Shane has a prized Christmas ornament of Larry "Legend" Bird on his tree. While Shane is away in Florida this week, I'm describing what kind of week Larry has had. Please note, you can click on the pictures to see the enlarged version of them, it's well worth doing. So, without further ado... Episode One: The Abduction.


We begin our story with Larry Legend and his fiancee, Polly Pockets off on a romantic ski vacation. Larry grew up in the midwest, and as such, winter does not even phase him, thus he does not need winter clothes, just his trademark Boston Cetlic jersey.

"Oh Larry, it's such a beautiful day for skiing isn't it?" says a love-struck Polly Pockets to Larry.

"Can you see a basketball court? I'm really itching for a game," Larry replies.

But what's this? It's the dastardly Rhyno behind them. He covets Polly more than anything, including deodorant, which is why he has to approch them from downwind.

While Larry is preoccupied with trying to locate a basketball court (because after all, 6' 9" men were not meant to ski and look goofy trying to do so), Rhyno pounces upon Polly.

"Larry!!" she screams as Rhyno carries her away.

Larry turns around to see his love being carried away by his arch-nemesis Rhyno. However, four of Rhyno's henchmen are in his way and things look bleak, even for one of the greatest players in NBA history.




Fortunately for Larry Legend, he is not alone. Polly's brother, Biff Pockabill (in the red hat and works at the ski resort), upon hearing his sister's cry for help has come to rescue her.

Seeing that he does indeed have backup, Larry goes on the offensive and uses his world famous basketball-quan-do martial arts training.

"It's time to show these boys how we handle thugs, French Lick style. " (this is a reference to Larry's home town of French Lick, IN and is NOT a homosexual reference, not that there is anything wrong with that)

A loud KAPOW!! can be heard upon his trusty Spaulding basketball hitting the head of the henchman. Larry and Biff make quick work of Rhyno's henchmen. However, in the fracas, Rhyno has escaped. Biff is able to get the location of Rhyno's hideout from one of the men.





Can Larry and Biff find Rhyno's hideout and save Polly Pockets? What dastardly plans does Rhyno have in store for our heros? Tune in next time for Episode II: The Chase Begins.


Edit: the comments section is back up, sorry about that.