Tuesday, October 18, 2005


Today I shall talk about my adventures with Dave, Gabe and Tony after the Badgers glorious victory on Saturday.

So, I'm in this gay bar minding my own business... What? You want to know how I got to this point you say? Very well then...

THEY BLOCKED THE PUNT!, many of the 30,000 Badger fans that were in attendance stayed for the UW marching band to go through a Camp Randall tradition of the 5th Quarter of playing songs and just having a good time for about 25 minutes or so out on the field. We danced in the stands and had a jolly old time.

We then walked over to 1st Avenue where all of the bars were taken over by Badger fans laughing, drinking and having a jolly old time. BTW, the Loon Cafe has incredible burgers and fries and I highly recommend them if you get the chance.

After being there for about 2 hours and several rounds, the 4 of us in my group decided to head out to a different bar. Dave, the outspoken one, wanted to find a dive bar to just hang out in where we didn't have to yell to be heard by one another. We were walking along and he decides that he wants to go into The Brass Rail. He doesn't consult anyone, just goes in.

Well, we have to follow him so we all go in. It's a pretty small place with about 12 or so people in it and after about 5-10 minutes he notices there are poles near the back. I goad him into giving a mock pole dance, to which he accomodates us. We are dying laughing at his performance, and he comes back and says "You know, nobody else was laughing, they were just watching. I think this is a gay bar." We all told him that yes it was indeed a gay bar.

Now, Dave is what you would call a fairly conservative Bible-Thumping Conservative Christian. This fact only heightend the enjoyment that Gabe, Tony and I had at the whole situation. I have to give Dave credit, he stayed there for about another hour and a half, and even accepted a round of drinks that some older, gay Badger fans bought us.

Thus brings me to the beginning of my post. So I'm in this gay bar minding my own business watching the end of the Notre Dame-USC game. USC just converted a 4th and 6 with a 50 yard pass. I yell out "Oh my goodness!"

Now, let me explain, I have 2 young kids and I really have to watch my language around them. I have trained myself not swear in just about all situations. It is just habit at this point. 5 years ago, I sounded like a truck driver and had no problems with that.

A gentleman at the end of the bar says "Who said 'Oh my goodness' down there? Butch it up!"

Needless to say, this caused another round of laughter from Gabe and myself as yes, he did say that phrase how the stereotypical way you would expect it to sound.

After Matt Leinert fumbles out of bounds which essentially wins the game for USC, I once again out of habit say "Oh my goodness."

The retort from the same man at the bar said "Oh my god, it was you who said 'Oh my goodness'. Butch it up sweetheart."

I then replied "Holy crap! I cannot believe that fucking happened!"

"That's much better, stick to the craps and the fucks" he replied.

We then left after that game was over and headed over to Kieren's Irish Pub for some scotch and Guiness. And there, Gabe flung not one, but 2 pieces of spicy pepper cheese at an Asian woman on the other side of the bar. And that my friends is how my story ends, one of the funnest days and nights out I have ever had.


Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of you that you watch your mouth even when the kids aren't around, it might make an old gay dude mock you, but I'd rather have you mistaken for femmey than a foul mouthed Corsican. I love you.

murph said...

Ah, Craig. Well done.

I'd heard from my network of spies that this was a worthy read, and I was not disappointed.

Well said!

Gabe said...

For the record, the Asian girl wanted the cheese, and I only hit her boyfriend with one piece of it. The second piece was dead on target...