Tuesday, May 10, 2005

I love this game

Last night the Westwood Softball Club came back and defeated the Aldersgate Gatekeepers in front of 25 rain-soaked, raucous fans 13-7 at Dakota Field East. It was a pitchers duel at first until Aldersgate took the early lead with a 3 run HR on a ball that hit the top of the fence and a member of the Gatekeepers reached over and knocked the ball over the fence with a large net. The umpire missed this blatant interference when their bench screamed that they saw Tyra Banks running naked and he turned to look (along with everyone else).

Aldersgate continued this blatant cheating as the catcher repeatedly used a stun gun on the Westwood club and caused many a pop fly or weak ground out by a dizzy Westwoodian. The umpire missed this also as his cataracts were acting up and he was seeing pink elephants dancing about the infield.

In the 3rd inning, the rain came falling down and the Westwood bats stayed cool, as even Cheesehead Craig was affected when his bat almost slipped out of his hand when hitting a grounder to first base. The Westwood defense held strong the rest of the way even with hyenas being released into the field by the Gatekeepers.

Things looked bleak in the top of the 7th and last inning with the beloved Westwood club down 6-4. Then the rain stopped and the Westwood bats started to heat up. They cranked out 11 hits and 9 runs and the comeback was complete. Many of the Gatekeepers were claiming that they witnessed the Westwood club using illegal suppliments and creams before the inning started. Thier arguments were quickly dismissed by the umpire who simply shouted "Quit interrupting my game of Tetris!"

In a surprise move, Cheesehead Craig was moved to 2nd base as the club realized that his athleticism was too great to deny and leave him at first. This resulted in the Gatekeepers clearly avoiding that side of the field and thus limiting their offensive capabilities. A brilliant strategy by the coaching staff.


Curt said...

Nice objective and unbiased report of the game! Perhaps the Star Tribune and Pioneer Press should hire you as a consultant.

Curt in Grand Forks

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