Wednesday, March 22, 2006

On the Gluttony, Sloth and Flatulence

Well, I've been requested to provide more details on the recent man weekend with the opening rounds of the March Madness tourney. Needless to say, I gained a bunch of weight back. How much you ask? Well, I'm both ashamed and proud to admit it was 7 pounds in 4.5 days. This just means I have to get back on the exercise and sensible eating horse I've been on since January. Not that I'm on an actual horse like that mind you, if I was, it'd be hard as hell to type this daily tripe. Anyway, on to the diary of the aforementioned "sins" in the title:

By far the worst one, but also the most fun to do.
  • 1 burrito bigger-than-my-head from La Bambas (it's about 10 inches long)
  • Eggs Benedict, sausages and hash browns
  • 3 italian sausages and loads of pasta
  • About 40 rib tips and 1/2 pound coleslaw
  • 2 slices of Norskie Nook cherry pie (the greatest pie place EVER)
  • 3 large scoops of Breyers strawberry ice cream with a large Nestle milk chocolate bar broken up in it
  • 21 oz rib eye steak from the 5 O'Clock Club (best steak house in Milwaukee) with mushrooms, breads and a salad (see healthy eating here!)
  • 2 tubes of Pringles
  • Several cookies made by the lovely Katrina (Gabe's wife) and E (Murph's wife)
  • 2 double cheeseburgers and large fries (McDonald's)
  • About 1/3 pound of prosciutto
  • 12 cans of Coke
  • And the topper of them all: sausage, egg and cheese breakfast sandwich, a cheeseburger and hashbrowns from Sali's Butter Burgers, increasing patrons cholesterol levels 50% daily since 1954. Picture both sandwiches with butter inside them, with the burger, sausage and eggs fried themselves in butter, with the extra butter forming a pool on the plate under them. These go down real smooth. Plus the hash browns are fried in butter as well. This is the most disgustingly, delicious, decadent food on Earth. One of the main reasons I go down to Milwaukee.

Also add in that on my arrival home on Sunday night, we had a birthday party for my 3 year old daughter, and of course there was cake and ice cream. What the hell did I just do to my body?

Pretty much sat and reclined (individual recliners) on a leather couch watching a 52" TV screen for the majority of the time. Only real exercise was jumping up and down during the upsets and going up the stairs to use the bathroom. I did use their eliptical machine for about 30 minutes one day, but that was to make more room for the steak dinner that night.

You really don't need to hear about this do you? 5 guys (at times 8) sitting in a basement, eating junk food for hours at a time, you get the picture.

Overall it was another great time. As far as the rest of weekend details... what happens in the basement, stays in the basement.


Anonymous said...

You didn't tell me about the prociutto!!!
And you restrained yourself to only three scoops of Breyer's Strawberry ice cream??? That's child play.
Overall, I'm impressed that you are still functioning, much less at the productive level you are...
The most amazing detail attesting you your self control is that you had an open can of Lay's chips in your back seat of your car the whole ride home. You are not a glutton, not by a long shot.
Your Dear Wife.

Cheesehead Craig said...

Oh snap! Forgot about the car food. Add the can of Lays chips (there were only about 10 chips left in it sweetie) and a king size Kit Kat.

Russ said...

You notice, I didn't ask about the flatulence...

Bamba's. Dear, sweet Bamba's.

Gluttony and sloth. Still beats sluttony and goth any day.

Cheesehead Craig said...

There is something to be said for slutty goths though Russ.