My neighbor Shane has created a policy that is frankly the most brilliant thing I have come across in all my years of manhood. The Shane Purchasing Policy (SPP) is as follows: Everytime his wife is in the hospital or really sick, he goes and buys something he really wants that is expensive. Once she's recovered, it's too late to take whatever it was back should she object.
As much as I poke fun at Shane and enjoy destroying him in the Backyard Border Battle, he's got a leg up on me with this SPP. He's been able to purchase cable TV, a new TV and DVD player and an IPod video during these times.
Why am I bringing this up? Well, my beautiful wife is heading off to Ireland for 8 days with her sister starting tomorrow and thought this was the perfect time to implement the SPP for my own personal gain. I have seen first-hand how powerful this system is and now I am going to implement it. The problem is there are too many things I want and I turn to you, my readers, as to what I should get. Please help me out and vote in the poll below. I sincerely appreciate your assistance in the implementation of the SPP in enhancing my life.
9 comments:
I missed my chance back in December when my wife had a hysterectomy to buy that plasma TV...
This plan is so ingenious that I am quite angry that I hadn't thought of it myself.
However, by posting this on the www, you have now revealed yet another ingenious plan for male dominance. Shame on you.
An iPod is cheaper than almost all of the other on the list, and you'll spend the next 8 days playing with all the neat things you can do with it. Plus, with all of the traveling you do, you need to have one of these for your airport delays. Trust me on this one. It's the greatest! Yes, my name is Sara , and I'm an iPod addict.
Plus, you can do 50 fun things with it!
John,
Women tend to not visit sports sites as they are "beneath them". So I feel that this is the best way to spread the word on the SPP.
As the creator the SPP, first let me say thank you to CC for recognizing my genius, and secondly, if anyone has any questions on how to implement this scheme I am ready to dispense my wisdom.
By the way Craig, I think you should get the satellite TV. No question.
Let's just say if you want to be "beneath" THIS woman, you will NOT exert the power of the CPP. I am NOT kidding.
My vote, however, is for the chair, we can all enjoy it and it won't cost as much as the freakin' TV which WILL go back to the store as soon as I get home.
You dork.
-The Loving Wife
Egads! I've been found out! What is my wife doing actually reading this?
Damn you for using sex against me! Damn you!
On the eve of my departure to another continent you damn me...
If I could understand a single word of Irish, I'd run off with some flame-haired Paddy. Fortunately for you, it all sounds like seals honking to me.
More about using sex against you in a less public forum.
-The loving wife
The SBGPP is just to buy it right in front of Lucy. That's how I got the MP3 player.
Of course, the LPP is expansive and includes buying in front of me, behind me, to the side of me, etc.
Well SBG, we all can't be filthy rich lawyers with trophy wives now can we?
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