Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Mr. Crankbutt

Here is another regular feature for my blog. Mr. Crankbutt will from time to time stop by and rant about something that pisses him off about life in general. I never know what topic he's going to rant about or what he will say. So, without further ado I give you: Mr Crankbutt.

You people who drive while talking on cell phones really piss me off. And no, I don't have one, why not? you may ask. Because I don't want or need to be that available. Things in life are not that important that you have to have 1,500,000 minutes of phone time each month. "But what about an emergency?" To this I respond, how often have you had an honest to goodness emergency in your life? That criket's chirping sound I hear answers my question.

What's the biggest use of cell phones? To call your friends while driving in your car. Here is a typical conversation:

Idiot #1: Hi, what are you doing?
Idiot #2: Nothing, you?
Idiot #1: Nothing, just driving home.
Idiot #2: Ok
Idiot #1: So what are you doing tonight?
Idiot #2: I don't know, you?
Idiot #1: Beats me.

This stimulating and necessary conversation goes on for 15-20 minutes. I am sick of seeing drivers swerve all over the road without using their blinkers being willfully oblivious to the existing traffic, go 20 mph in a 35 mph zone, and my personal favorite, realize that they were so busy talking to their friend about what they are going to do next Thursday that they forget where they are going, realize their turn or exit is fast approaching and then they need to quick jump over 2 lanes in 10 feet to make it. Then I see them with one hand next to their head chatting away about the latest episode of the "OC". You put my life and that of my family at risk for your "convenience". What is the first thing I see people do, more often than not, as they approach and get into their cars? Yep, call someone on their cell. It's like some Pavlovian response they have from getting near a car. "I can still pay attention driving while on the phone" No you can't. Can you follow a TV show, completely, and talk on the phone at the same time? No, either you can pay attention to the person on the phone or what's on TV. This is exactly like driving, with the windows and windshield as the TV screen, it's one or the other. If you HAD to make that call, then you should have planned your day better and made that call prior to leaving. I'd rant some more, but I see someone about to get into their car and they are starting a call. It's time to deliver a "hands free" beating with my size 12 shoe.

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