Days of our Packers

The continuing soap opera saga of America’s Team. Let’s check in to see what has happened in the story recently:

The Packers needed to get under the cap to comply with NFL rules. When the plot to replace the current NFL cap administrator with a brain-washed clone created by Ted Thompson failed, the Packers had to resort to other, more desperate methods: cutting players! *Gasp*

The first player to go was Mike Wahle as his contract was the largest. He will be missed, but given that he once broke into the testing lab at the hospital to switch the paternity test results for Mike Flanagan’s baby, maybe not. Seriously, he should have been a Pro-Bowler the last 2 years and will be highly compensated this offseason by some other team.

The other player cut was backup center Gary Ruegamer. He was a savings of $1.4M to the cap but after his blatant sabotage of the LeRoy Butler’s Big Brothers Big Sisters charity event, he needed to go. The Packers may resign him for the veteran’s minimum, make him the starter at center and move Flanagan to one of the guard spots.

The Packers kept Darren Sharper, for now, in an attempt to get him signed to a contract where he takes a major paycut. When Sharper tricked Ahman Green’s wife into sleeping with him, he brought this retribution on himself. His $2.6M roster bonus is not due until 3/12, so there is time to work something out. Sharper is not really willing to take much of a pay cut as he needs money for his plot to steal away Grady Jackson’s all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant. He’s evil I tell you…. EVIL! Bwahh ha ha… I sincerely hope they find some way to keep him, his leadership and experience will be definitely needed this upcoming season.

The Packers have made qualifying offers to Davenport, Kampman, Nall, O’Sullivan, Lenon and Barry. Basically this means that the Packers have the right of first refusal - which means compensation has been set at the round in which they were originally drafted. Example: Davenport was a 4th round pick, so if he signs elsewhere, the Packers get that teams 4th round pick in the upcoming draft. The Packers are taking a chance that nobody will sign any of these guys, but with a higher offer qualifying offers, they would had to have paid these guys more $ and then would have had to given up on Sharper to make room for them.

Thompson has a big task ahead of him as he needs to get the Packers salary cap back under control. He is off to a good start, IMO. He is not overpaying for players (a la Sherman’s Hunt fiasco 2 years back) just to keep them off the FA market. The Packers may very well lose both starting guards in Wahle and Rivera, but the Packers have been able to draft good OL and create an outstanding group. Remember, this team lost both Timmerman and Verba some years ago, and everyone was worrying what they would do without them. They have an outstanding OL coach and seem to land on their feet in this area. Thompson is gambling that they can continue to do this, but it is a good gamble.

(Disclaimer: the actions referenced above by Sharper, Wahle or Ruegamer never happened, this is a fictitious story created for entertainment. Don’t sue me!)

Disturbing News
I saw the most disturbing commercial last night, in fact, I was afraid to go to sleep because of it. It was an ad for Joe Cocker's latest CD "I'm Broke and Need Money Any Way I Can Get It". I have no idea what the hell possessed this man to make a new album covering other artists songs. Among the songs on this album are: "What's Going On"," Chain of Fools"," One" (yes, the U2 song), "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" and wait, here's the coup de gras, "Everybody Hurts" by REM. The ad had him singing parts of each song by the same wall of a warehouse. I honestly thought I was watching a parody from SNL. I'm starting to convulse just thinking about it...