The 2006 Backyard Border Battle has begun!

Yes indeed all, the now famous BBB between myself and my neighbor and good friend Shane has kicked off the 2006 season with the first event being completed this weekend. To catch the new readers up, last year's Battle was won by yours truly 4-3 over Shane. This year we have added new events to the Battle and the first event was one of the new ones, air hockey.

Shane and I went to Gameworks downtown for this installment of the Battle. First we had an outstanding dinner at the Loon Cafe, which has excellent chili I'd like to point out. Then it was on to the battleground. Now, this air hockey table was not your typical table, oh no, this table had the added feature of 3 PUCK PLAY! That's right, about 1/3 of the way through, 3 pucks would come out, and then for the last minute or so of the game (they were all timed) there would always be 3 pucks out on the surface until time ran out.

This was a best of 3 series as the place was quite packed. The first game saw me jump out to an early lead and I dominated the rest of the game which ended with a 15-8 victory. Shane had difficulty with the 3 puck play and was overwhelmed by my offensive onslaught. Score CC up 1-0.

Game two was a very tightly contested affair as the lead changed back and forth throughout the contest. The time had run out with 1 puck left on the surface and Shane up 11-10 as he went defensive this game to counter the 3 pucks, so I needed to make the last puck for the tie, which I easily did. Score after 2 games 1-0-1.

We took a break as there were people waiting to use the table and went off and played some of the other games, then after about an hour we came back to finish the event.

Game 3 was another close one with a game malfunction during play. After I scored a goal to tie it at 5, the game did not register it and did not kick out a new puck. So Shane and I bumped the machine as best we could while watching the time continue to run. We had to wait for the final minute where 3 pucks would come out. Feeling a bit of pressure given that Shane obviously rigged the machine to not count all of my goals, I was pushing the offense hard. Game 3 ended in an 11-10 victory for Shane as he luckily sank the final puck to tie it all up at 1-1-1.

The final game saw a flurry of action which drew the attention of quite a few of the younger patrons away from their games to watch the showdown. The crowd was clearly on my side as my superior abilities on the table quickly became obvious. The game was broadcast on all of the TV's in the place for all to enjoy. Chants of "Cheesehead! Cheesehead!" filled Gameworks as Shane was sweating with nervousness. The game was another see-saw battle with again the score tied at 15-15 with one puck left. Pointing at the goal in a called shot like Babe Ruth in the 1932 World Series, the crowd went wild. One quick, cold strike of the puck, and the game was over. 16-15 was the final score with Cheesehead Craig the victor. The crowd jumped up and down and cheered like the city of Pittsburgh after the SuperBowl. To show my appreciaton for their support, I gave some of the kids my Gameworks card so that they could enjoy playing a couple of games of air hockey as well. Shane was kind enough to stay a bit longer after the game so that I could sign autographs and have pictures taken with the fans.

This year's BBB has started off well again for me and it looks to be another exciting season of silly and borderline simplistic events. But fear not my loyal readers, I shall once again emerge victorious and the cup (which we still have to get) will once again be mine.

Warning: Lots of f*cking explatives ahead

If you are easily offended, do me a favor and skip this post.

Why does the Badger men's basketball team hate me so much? How can this team, which started with so much promise, end up fucking losing to the worst damn team in the Big Ten, Purdue 70-62? This is some of the shittiest basketball I have ever seen come out of Madison with them losing 5 of their last 6.

There's no fucking defense on this team, especially in the interior with Brian "not quite so" Butch. The Badgers have given up 46.8% shooting from the field, as teams are scoring on them more often than a hooker at Mardi Gras; plus they are being out-fucking-rebounded by over 5 boards/game. This team used to be built on defense and interior play, now we are just a bunch of pansy-ass outside shooters and the team has lost it's toughness, and needs to grow a pair in fucking hurry. This is not what WI basketball is Bo, not by a mother-fucking longshot.

Instead of building a team this year, Bo just went and relied upon Alando "shoot until my arms fucking fall off" Tucker to lead the team in scoring and hoped that the rest of the team would score enough to win. I'm predicting right now that this sorry-ass bunch of dipshits will not make the NCAA tourney. They will lose 5 of their next 7 games of the season and lose in the first round in the Big Ten tourney to finish the season 17-13 with no prayer of bid, not when you finish the season on a horseshit 3-11 run. No fucking way.

There, my rant is done and I apologize for the language. I just had to get it out of my system.

Hello, my name is Craig, and I'm an addict

I'm addicted to PartyPoker.net. Yes, I'm a sad man for playing Texas Hold 'Em poker on line, but I cannot help it. It is really fun and my abilites at poker have increased tremendously. Now, before I get any further along, I should point out that I AM NOT PLAYING FOR REAL MONEY! I don't believe in on-line gambling as it is waaaaayyy too dangerous to go down that road. I'll lose my $ in person at a casino like everyone else, thank you very much.

I've always loved playing card games and I'm pretty good at them, so figured I'd see how I'd do at poker. To date I'm over 70k in my bankroll (I started with 2k), however I'm nowhere near the top leaderboard players. I just log on, get the Yahoo radio going and zone out for a while.

One only gets better at things with practice, and even though the only 2 times I have played Texas Hold 'Em poker for real $, I came in 1st and 2nd, I won those on mostly luck and other people playing poorly. I have no dreams of becoming a professional poker player (hope that is settling for you O wonderful wifey of mine), but I would just like to have a bit more confidence when playing the game. Anyway, if you decide to go on there, I go by the same monicker that I do here. Look forward to seeing you there, taking your money, and having a good time.

Bucks - (Redd + Mo) = No win

It's simple math people, you take out the top 2 scorers, which is 40 pts/game for the Bucks, play against Yao Ming and T-Mac on the road and they will lose. Not real surprised at this result. However, I am a bit disappointed in Bogut in this one as he had a horrible game. 0-4 from the field in 26 minutes? Sheesh, thanks for showing up. Simmons was phenominal with 26 points and shot the hell out of the ball. Ford needs to remember that he is supposed to try and pass the ball a bit more. His 4-20 shooting just killed any chance the Bucks had of winning this game. Welsch had a nice night with 17 points showing he has the potential to be a big contributor off the bench. Magloire posted 13 pts and 15 rbs, but the Bucks got blown out once again on the boards, this time 48-38. What was once a strength of the Bucks has slowly slipped away, thus the disappointing losses. They have to get back to being a consistent rebounding team to get back to winning more.

Where's the parachute?

The Badgers continued their free-fall last night in an embarassing 51-66 loss to #6 Illinois, losing 4 of their last 5. The Badgers actually led this game 24-13 at one point in the first half, but let Illinois go on a 19-0 run. I wasn't surprised Illinois won this game, just at how poorly the Badgers played for the last 30 minutes. This team needs something, better yet, someone to give them a spark. The Badgers overachieved early on in the year, but this last stretch of 5 games has been brutally bad. They better turn this around quick or there is a very good chance of them being an 8 seed or worse, come tourney time.

Last night my almost 3 year old decided that she should get sick and thus, my wife and I spent about 2.5 hours cleaning up and making emergency runs to the bathroom with her last night. Amazingly, my daughter thought this was all just fine and was absolutely cute as heck during all that. My kids just amaze me at times with their calm reactions with things when I am expecting the worst.

EDIT: I should note that the 2.5 hours occured between midnight and 2:30 am.

Wild Wild West

The Bucks lose a heart-breaker to NO/OKC Hornets 93-94 last night. A last second shot by David West won the game for the home team. I said yesterday that the Bucks had to control West's performance, but he ended up with 24 pts and 15 reb. He and PJ Brown (12 rbs) controlled the boards and the Bucks had no answer for Speedy Claxton (19 pts). Redd dropped 32 pts and the starters all had good games, however the bench contributed virtually nothing and that was the key. The bench shot 2-12 (16.7%) and had 7 pts, and it was obvious that Mo Williams is the big key off the bench and he was sorely needed last night. But with him out for a couple more games with a sprained ankle, the other guys have to step up. The up and down season for the Bucks continues.

2 out of 3 IS bad

Well, not such a good weekend for WI sports. Let's see:

Badgers Basketball
The guys lost a tough one at Michigan 76-85. While watching the game, at first I was real pissed at how the refs were letting the MI big guys manhandle the Badgers and felt a lot of contact was not being called that benefitted MI. Then I took a step back (tripped over one of the kids toys in doing so) and realized that the Badgers are just a soft team, physically. Last year the Badgers did this, led by Wilkinson, to many an opponent. This year, now with Stiemsma and Landry out, the Badgers cannot hold their own very well against teams with physical big men as Butch is a finesse big man and simply cannot muscle-out down there. The upcoming schedule is tough, but the hardest games (Ill, Ohio St, IN) are at home, but over the next 5 games I would not be surprised to see the Badgers go 2-3.

Badger Hockey
Not too surprised at the Goophs sweeping the Badgers at the Kohl Center this weekend. Elliott is clearly missed and is a major key to the team. The Goophs have been playing excellent hockey and were able to catch the Badgers when they were down and beat them.

Bucks
A nice 2 game win streak, which was the lone bright spot of the WI sports weekend, over Toronto and Boston, which are teams they should beat. Tonight they visit ex-Buck Desmond Mason and the NO/OKC Hornets. Last game against them, the Hornets stayed in the game with 39 FT attempts to the Bucks 24. The Bucks need to keep the Hornets off the line and try and contain David West who went for 27 pts and 18 rbs last game.

Official Restaurant Recommendation
Last night we went to Q.Cumbers restaurant in Edina. They have a buffet-style, but it is mostly a salad-based one with some other main courses (usually roasted chicken or chicken fajitas) and plenty of vegetables. It was a great place and the best part is that it is cheap for kids. Kids are 63 cents/year. So my 2 year old daughter's plate was only $1.26 and Adam was $3.15. Plus, you cannot go wrong with soft serve ice cream sundaes or (cue Bill Cosby) chocolate pudding for dessert.

Whatever Oprah

I have to post about this, as it just irritates me.

By now everyone has heard about Oprah calling out James Frey on the inaccuracies of his book that she recommended to readers in her book club. Now, Oprah is a phenominal person and has done incredible things and I have a great deal of respect and admiration for her and she has every right to feel embarassed, as she along with many other people were duped by the author in believing that his book was entirely the truth. But to come out with the righteous indignation that the editors, publishers and reviewers should have done a better job of checking things out on the book just irritates the hell out of me. Here's a quote from the show:

Nan Talese of Doubleday, the book's publisher, said she learned of the fabrications at the same time everyone else did -- when The Smoking Gun published its report.

"I was dismayed to know that," she said, adding that she never approached the author on whether Smoking Gun's report was true.

"As an editor, do you ask someone, 'Are you really as bad as you are?'" Talese said.

"Yes, yes, yes! Yes, you do," Winfrey said to loud applause.

So Oprah can blame everyone else for not doing her fact-checking for her. She was the one who read the book and then pimped it on her show. She knows what type of publicity her show can do for someone. She can say that she relies on the publishers to correctly do things, but nobody forced her to have a book club and tell people what she thinks are good books.

There is a quote from a different story that applies to Oprah that she should take to heart in this matter: "With great power, comes great responsibility." She needs to take more ownership of her own mistakes, rather than lashing out at others.

Last night on the news, I heard an anchorman say that she "took him behind the woodshed" on the show, like Oprah did some great heroic thing. She didn't. Frey did not write the book for her, he wrote it for himself, his own therapy. He didn't stand at her door everyday begging her to read it or plug it on her show. Again, it was Oprah's choice to do so.

She was not a hero for what she did. She was just an angry person who was lashing out at someone who embarrassed her. Nothing more.

Day off

I get to be stay-at-home dad today while my incredibly talented and wonderful wife is out of town today and tomorrow judging a high school speech competition. I made the kids breakfast and got the boy off to school on time (see, men are not incompetent unlike the image that is painted by the female-controlled media). Looking forward to spending a good day with my daughter. Tonight, it's take and bake pizza time!

Badger Time!
Well, the Badgers kicked the snot out of Penn State the other night without Landry and Stiemsma who are now academically ineligible for the rest of the season. This now makes for 3 players this year that have this issue. Ryan had better start paying a bit more attention to these kids and their academics. This is concerning to say the least. His new AD in Alvarez is not going to take too kindly to any continuing issues on the academic front. Bo is an excellent coach and this is probably just a one-season issue, but this still bears watching.

America (or at least my readers), you decide!

The Badgers won last night and the Bucks lost, but we have more important things to do today. I got this idea from my blogging buddy CPF, when he posed the question about who was the hotter Daisy Duke, Catherine Bach or Jessica Simpson. I figured a more pertinent question needed to be answered: who was hotter, Catherine Bach (Daisy Duke of The Dukes of Hazzard) or Erin Grey (Wilma Deering of Buck Rogers). You decide. As for me, that alluring suit of Erin's is sweet, but a man cannot argue with those shorts so I gotta go Catherine. Feel free to comment after you clean up your drool.

Catherine Bach

vs

Erin Grey

Stopping a scorer?

I mentioned yesterday that the Bucks cannot handle elite scorers in the league. Well, I decided to go back to their last 9 games where they played against a player who can just ring the bell and see how they have done. Here's the results:

Player	Pts Scored	Pts Over Avg	FG%
McGrady	41	14	53.1%
Dirk	35	9	66.7%
Carmelo	38	12	65.0%
LeBron	35/52	8/15	63.6%/65.5%
Wade	35/27	10/2	71.4%/64.2%
Iverson	23	-11	36.3%
Kobe	33	1	58.3%
Total	35	8	59.5%

The 2 things that jump out at me are that on avg these scorers score 8 more than their avg and shoot 59.5% from the field. That's friggin' unbelievable! I took how much the players scoring average was at the time they played the Bucks. The Bucks are not a good defensive team (yeah, I know, big newsflash and all) but they cannot let the other team's big guys have this much free reign. Do what you have to to stop the big guys and make the other guys on the court beat you. The Bucks are 2-7 in these games and I'm sure the numbers are about as bad if I go back even further. The good news is, there's no big scorers in the picture until the rematch with T-Mac in about a week, bad news is the Pistons are in town tonight, so chalk up another loss.

At least Kobe's not on the schedule soon

I shudder to think what he would do to the Bucks defense right now. The Bucks cannot handle elite scorers and have been torched by them all season. T-Mac dropped 41, most of them in the 2nd half to spank the Bucks at the Bradley Center 97-80. The Bucks scored a whopping 9 points in the 4th quarter. If you're not going to play defense kids, at least score some points. Wasn't Bobby Simmons signed and Mason traded because Simmons could play D? This team should be better than their 21-19 record and it's frustrating.

The Good, the Bad, and the Downright Fun

The Good
The Bucks won their 2 games over the weekend to improve their overall record to 21-18 and a tie for 3rd place in the Central. Michael Redd has found his stroke again, and that just puts everything back into place. Granted, the Bucks beat Atlanta (10-28) and Charlotte (11-30), who if you combined their rosters you still couldn't provide a legit starting 5 in the NBA, but they won the games convincingly like good teams are supposed to.

The Bad
The UW athletic program's weekend. First, the Badger hockey team loses their star NHL-caliber goalie to a practice injury. Then they get swept at home by Denver to shrink their lead in the conference to 4 points. To then top off a completely miserable weekend, the Badgers men's basketball team loses a home game to North Dakota State. That's right, North fricking Dakota State who are in year 3 of their 5 year transition from D-II to D-I. Why do I get the feeling that the Badgers finally overlooked a team and got burned by it. The Badgers shot 16-72 (that's 22.2% for you math majors) from the field. Even if you grab 22 offensive rebounds and force 24 turnovers, if you can't make a damn shot, you're not going to beat anyone. This combined with the Ohio St. loss, should put the Badgers dangerously close to not being a ranked team any longer. They were ranked too high anyway, so this probably balances the whole thing out.

The Downright Fun
This weekend, my best buddy Gabe came up and we went out to watch our friend Dave who coaches the Dassel-Cokato Chargers boys varsity basketball team play at Howard Lake Lakers. This is the 2nd year we have done this as we get together with several other friends and make a big night out of it. Dave surprised us all with new DC Chargers T-shirts that we all immediately put on and sat behind the DC bench and cheered. The Chargers dispatched of the Lakers 57-51 behind a very strong inside game and held the Lakers to 27% from the field, including 1-20 from 3 point range. Afterwards, we went over to Dave's house for a veritable orgy of food. We had buffalo chicken cheese dip for chips, sausage stuffed mushrooms, cheese stuffed jalapenos, swedish meatballs, hot roast beef, teriaki chicken wings and chips and dips of just about every kind. Not to mention the alcohol was flowing and all of the 20 or so attendees had a blast. The fun finally ended at 3:30 in the morning and Gabe and I made our way back for the 45 minute drive home. Dave and his wife are fantastic hosts and I look forward to this weekend every year. If you think I'm providing pictures of any of this, you're nuts.

The Fab Five

It's that time again when I hit the "Next Blog" button in the upper right and comment on the 5 randomly selected blogs and have some fun with them. The nominees are...

Asi como me ves me tienes
It's Sergio's blog! You all remember that Smirnoff Ice commercial where the 2 guys claim they know Sergio and fly and party all around the world? Well, here's his blog. Nah! Had you going though didn't I?

Moda Brasil Hexacampeano
A store to buy Brazilian-flag themed items like headscarfs, dolls, money bags, etc. I did not see any Brazilian women wearing those tennie-tiny Brazilian flag thong bikinis. Damn.

A Flower Called Nowhere
OK, this blog is pretty fucked up. A guy who is a US citizen and lives in Amsterdam and wants to marry an Amsterdam citizen so that he can then become a citizen there. Let's see his qualifications: blew all his money (including his 401k from the states) on drugs and was going to kill himself as part of a planned suicide. Gee, and nobody has taken him up yet? Go figure.

Christmas Tree Poems
This blog is nothing like the title. Here is a quote from the blog: "is & not stack I of so people remember 6:44 a 20% in christmas in prison can Chan, signed I You be a because Plays The get CHRISTMAS IN PRISON Shaolin folds are Office the least out Wet" What in the blue hell is this all about? Thank goodness crap like this is out there.

Mr. Winkie
This gay guy (not that there's anything wrong with that) has a blog where he posts pictures of women's feet to satisfy his fetish. Also dreams of sex with Michael Clark Duncan (the big prisoner from Green Mile), and also with his boss (not at the same time mind you). Hey, he's Canadian after all, so it's ok.

Double Ouch

Bucky
The Badgers lose at Ohio State last night 77-67 for their first Big Ten loss and drop to 14-3 overall. The Badgers were down 2 key reserves in Marcus Landry and Greg Stiemsma. Stiemsma is hurt and likely will miss the Badgers next game against ND State. Landry may be a bigger issue as he had to sit per academic reasons and this may turn out to be a longer absence from the team. Ohio State had their way against an uncharacteristicly poor UW defense. The Big Ten is tough this year, and if you slip defensively in a game, the opponent is going to make you pay for it.

The Badgers were ranked #15 & #13 in the polls, but that is simply too high. Their early schedule has been mostly home games where they are 10-0, but other than the Paradise Jam Tourney(where the competition really wasn't that good), they seemingly cannot win on the road. They are 1-3 and granted all those games (except MN) were against ranked teams, but teams ranked that high should do better. I really think it would do Bo some good if he scheduled some more road games early on in the season.

Bucks
They lose a heartbreaker to the Spurs 95-92, ending their streak of 13 straight when the game is decided by 6 pts or less. Their defense was stellar in the game with limiting the Spurs to 45.7% from the field and shooting 50% themselves. However, SA is loaded with talent and the Bucks did a nice job on Duncan, Ginobili and Parker, but they had no answer for Michael Finley down the streatch. He dropped 21 pts including 2 huge 3 pointers in the final minutes and sealed the game from the FT line. Overall, a very solid performance by the Bucks and even though it is disappointing, it's an effort that can be built on.

Where, O where, has our defense gone?

Go on over to the Frozen Tundra to see my thoughts on the Packers and Bates leaving.

This post will focus on the defensively challenged, Milwaukee Bucks. The Bucks have lost 6 of their last 8 games due in large part to their complete unwillingness and inability to defend anyone. Here are some fun stats to show their ineptitude over the last 8 games:

The Bucks have shot 43.9% and averaged 92.1 pts/game (8th worst in the NBA on both counts)Their opponents shot 48.1% (3rd worst) and averaged 101.5/game (5th worst)

The Bucks have been outshot, percentage-wise in 7 of the last 8 games, only the win against a severely depleted Charlotte team was the lone exception. They were outshot in the win over the T-Wolves.

The Bucks have given up over 100 points in 6 of their last 8 games.

The combined record of the teams they have played over this stretch, 123-126.

Terry Stotts, it's long past time to start emphasizing defense with this team. I certainly realize that this is a young team but this is bordering on the ridiculous. The Bucks are not built to score over 100/game and that is what they are having to do in order to win games with how they play defense.

In The Zone

The title will teleport you over to The Frozen Tundra for my latest comments on the Packers. Today I go over the 'zone blocking' that the Packers are now going to implement and explain exactly what entails. I didn't really know either, learn something new everyday.

On another note. Back on Jan 5th this year, I had my 1 year anniversary of this blog. Didn't even realize it myself.

That's one Bucking impressive stat

The Bucks beat the Charlotte Bobcats 103-102 last night in Charlotte to go 13-0 this season in games decided by 6 points or less. This really shows how far this team has come since last season as far as confidence goes. However, no way should Charlotte have been in this game last night. They were out 6 players to injury and the Bucks blew an 18 point lead. One of the downsides to having a young team is turnovers. The Bucks had 23 of them last night which totally negated their 48-38 rebounding advantage they had. TJ Ford was in the right place at the right time to get the long rebound and the winning bucket. Bogut was impressive with his 18 pt 17 rb game and really needs to become a bigger part of the offense. I liked that they got Magloire so that Bogut was not immediately thrust into the center position, but I think the time has come to put some more on the young guy's shoulders. Give him 38 minutes and 16 shots/game and he'll get you your consistant double double. Oh, and Stotts, let's see some semblance of a defense please.

Pamela Anderson vs Colonel Sanders

I know I'm posting this a little late in the day today, but in case you don't know, Pamela Anderson is wanting the bust of Colonel Sanders removed from the KY state capitol. This is a quandry for the red-blooded men of America. Who do we side with? I shall endeavor to answer this question with the following:

Pamela Anderson

VS

Colonel Sanders

Known for: CS- Drop dead delicious chicken PA- Drop dead gorgeous physique

National treasure since: CS- 1952 PA- 1991, thanks to Baywatch

Empire covers: CS- The stomachs of men worldwide PA- The minds (and other parts) of men worldwide

Introduced the world to: CS- Sporks PA- Slow motion running on a beach in a swimsuit

Biggest secret: CS- 11 herbs and spices PA- Why she went out with Scott Baio and Kid Rock

Best asset: CS- Breasts PA- Breasts (in both cases, they are all natural)

Biggest downfall: CS- Not enough restaurants PA- Not enough brains

It's a close call, but the winner is Colonel Sanders! Sorry Pam, gorgeous women come and go, but crispy, juicy, heavenly chicken is eternal.

The New McCarthyism

Click the title of the post to go to the wonderful land of The Frozen Tundra to see more of my thoughts about the Packers newest hire.

The Bucks against the Pacers in Indianapolis last night in a game I didn't think they were going to win anyway, apparently they didn't either as they clearly mailed in their performance losing 112-88. Since they didn't feel like playing last night, I'm not posting anything further on it.

The Double Whammie!

The state of Minnesota got the double whammie last night, as WI proved to be the superior basketball state with wins by the Bucks over the Timberwolves and the Badgers over the Goophers. What a glorious night indeed!

Bucky, Bucky, Buuuuucky!
The Badgers defeated the Goophs on the Goophs own home floor last night 64-62 to improve to 13-2 and 3-0 in the Big Ten. The Badgers held the Goophs to making only 3 shots in the first half. That's right people, they made 3 friggin' shots. The defense that the Badgers can bring is simply phenominal (64.4 pts/game) and given that they average scoring 76.7 pts/game, they can do it on both ends. This team could have folded after giving up a huge lead on the road, but held together and won. This team is possibly better than last year's squad that made it to the Elite 8. But please, Mr. Tucker, work on that FT shooting would you? Shaq is even making fun of your ineptitude. The Border Battle is now 160-120 in favor of the Badgers over the Goophs.

The Bucks
Now, the Bucks have not played very well at home having a 9-7 record, oops, I mean 10-7 now that they beat the Wolves (sorry, cheap shot). The Bucks had to sit 6th Man of the Year, Mo Williams with plantar fascitis so they were down one of their big guns for this game. The Bucks did a great job in containing KG so that he could not get into the flow of offense for the Wolves. The bench contributed 34 points led by the immortal Toni Kukoc with 14. To me, this was the key to the game as the bench has been fairly silent during the 3 game slide. The Bucks broke out of their shooting slump against one of the better defensive teams in the league by hitting 51.3% of their shots. The Bucks defense was its usual self by allowing 52.9% shooting by the Wolves, but were able to hold on. One of the better home performances from the Bucks to improve their record to 18-14 and 3rd place in the Central Division. They now have 5 of their next 6 on the road starting with being at Indiana tonight. Ugh.

Calhoun off to the NFL

Brian Calhoun has declared himself available for the 2006 NFL Draft. Given the season he had, he was the best overall back in the Big 10. He knows that he will not be picked until the 2nd round at the earliest and possibly later, so it's good that he does not have too high of expectations. Given how he bucked the odds at the college level, I wouldn't rule him out of being successful at the pro level. Best of luck to you Brian! Now, Bielema has his work cut out for him in his first year coaching at the U in replacing him.

The Good, the Bad and the Stupid

THE GOOD
The #24 Badgers kicked the snot out of the #7 Michigan State Spartans 82-63 at the Kohl Center in a nationally televised game. Kammron Taylor led the charge with a dominating 27 point performance. The Badgers received continuous praise from the CBS announcers for their outstanding overall team play and great coaching. The Badgers are now 67-3 at home under Bo Ryan. That's a 95.7% winning percentage, and that's domination. Bo has definately taken this program to new heights during his reign.



THE BAD
The Bucks lost their 3rd straight game this weekend. Their poor shooting is coming back to bite them big time. Over this 3 game losing streak, they shot 41.1%, which is incredibly poor. They also were outrebounded as well in each of the losses, which is disturbing, given this was a strength all season so far. TJ Ford came back and had a decent game against Cleveland on Saturday night, but he was not able to turn the losing tide the Bucks are in. They are now at a 17-14 record and the #6 team in the East, but maybe I have been expecting too much from this team. This is a trend that is concerning. They have a huge 4 game stretch coming up of home games against MN and Denver and road games at Charlotte and Indiana. They have to, and can go 3-1 against these teams.

THE STUPID
Not a picture big enough for this one, but it's the MN TV media. I have seen the sports anchors on the local news (and the news anchors as well), crowing about how the Vikes "stole" Childress from the Packers and how they stuck it to the Cheeseheads. NEWSFLASH: You didn't steal jack-shit. Thompson had 8 interviews lined up and would have gone through them all prior to hiring any coach. He's methodical, that's the way he is. He wasn't just going hire Childress right after he got off the plane like the Vikes did. I get a kick out of these TV people acting all smug and superior and define their worth from what they perceive they do to the Cheeseheads.

Mailbag

Before I get to the mailbag, I have a shameless plug for myself. If you have enjoyed my musings on The Frozen Tundra, go on over to MVN and vote for me in the writer awards.

Oracle: I have a question about Brett Favre, and know that you will have the answer. Is he under contract or is a free agent? I am wondering if he wants to play elsewhere if the Packers would have to trade or release him. Being the Oracle and all, I know you help me with this one. What do you think will happen? I have heard rumors of him going to Miami to take one more shot at the Super Bowl behind a solid offense, but th thought of him not in green and gold is just too hard to picture. I agree that the Packers should look no further than Bates if they are committed to bringing in a defensive coach. I have no idea what the Vikes will do, and am very much on the fence in regards to Brad Chilldress. I'd like to see them interview Rivera from the Bears, but the thought of an ex-Bear as coach of the Vikes may be too much for me to handle.

I'd also like to thank you once again for being in my Yahoo Fantasy Football League again. It was a much better league this year than last, and I appreciate you being in it. Keep giving Shane heck. Take care.

Curt (in Grand Forks)

Thank you for the complement O Curt in Grand Forks.

Favre is under contract for 4 more years so if he would choose to play for another team, a trade must be made. If he retires, he is still property of the Packers for the length of the term of the contract, so again a trade must be made should desire to come back and play for another team in that timeframe.

Miami has a solid offense? This confuses the Oracle as that has not existed since the late 80's.

The Oracle sees great things should the Packers hire Jim Bates as their head coach. I see visions of a silver football on a stand being handed to him. The Oracle cannot however influence the minds of those in Green Bay, he can only say what he sees.

You are correct on Rivera, as anything Bear-related is unclean and will taint anything it is associated with.

My participation in your fantasy football league was enjoyable, I am glad that I helped all there have a good time.

May fortune smile upon you Curt in Grand Forks; and oh yes, I forsee a banner year of heck for one Shane.

Sports Spectacular!

Lots of stuff today.

First off, last night's Rose Bowl was one of the best games on any level I have ever seen. The game not only lived up to the hype, but exceeded it. Vince Young had the greatest collegiate game ever. Wow. He is a phenominal talent, and he's leaning towards staying in college next year. If he does, nobody's stopping TX. Matt Leinert wins classless ass of the year with his comment after the game of "We're still the better team" line. No, you're not the better team, otherwise you would have won the game which was essentially on your home field. Lose with some class and dignity. I feel sorry for the team that gets him in the draft. He's a coddled prima donna that has a good chance of being a head case in the NFL. For the record, the 4th and 1 call by Carroll to go for it with White was the right call. TX was not able to stop him all night long. Had Leinert passed and it was an incomplete or a Leinert sneak that failed, everyone would be wondering why Pete did not give it to his unstoppable RB.

Packers
I've got some stuff on the Packers HC situation over at The Frozen Tundra. Go check it out and comment, tell your friends and family as well.

Bucks
The Bucks lose at home last night to the Cavs when they let them go on a 16-0 run to start the 4th Q. Not gonna win too many games doing that. The Bucks shot 37% for the game from the field with the bench not contributing any points the entire game. Too many things went wrong for the Bucks and the poor showing at home games this year continues.

2005 Backyard Border Battle Final Results

On Saturday, December 31st, my neighbor Shane and I participated in the last event of the 2005 Backyard Border Battle, bowling. I was already assured the championship by being up 4-2 after shellacking Shane throughout the year. This event was simply to go through the motions and finish out the contest.

Shane insisted on bringing his boys along with him and wanted me to bring Adam. I thought this sounded fishy as they all were giggling amongst themselves when I agreed to bring along my son so that he could witness my final victory. Little did I know the depths that Shane would sink to just to win the event to make the final score look closer than it really was.

The first game was a close one, with both of us taking the lead at various times. The victory was preserved for Shane in game one after my son inadvertantly threw a ball that crashed through the bumpers of the kids lane and into the gutter on our lane, during the 10th frame.

Game two Shane saw the true destructive force of my bowling prowess as I marked 6 straight times to even the score at 1-1 with a 50 pin victory. Shane was asking for a time out and even said that he forgot something in my van (I drove us all over, see what a great guy I am) in order to get me outside in an attempt to have the freezing air outside cool me off.

Then, came game three. The start of the game was a tight affair, then I noticed Shane give a signal to his two sons who then started taunting my son. The venomous chants of "The Packers stink! Brett Favre is a loser!" came from his children's lips and stung my son to the quick. My son, being only 5, broke into tears as he could not understand why his friends and Viking fans would be so mean-spirited. Shane would not tolerate any delay in the game and demanded that I bowl immediately. My mind was clearly on my tormented son and I simply threw the ball down the lane and quickly returned to him. This continued for several frames while I helped my son understand that Viking fans simply don't care about things that are good and pure, and only care about being mean and ugly and bringing others to their despicable level. My son, now armed with this knowledge, was able to fend off these bullies and enjoy his bowling experience. However, having to devote all my thoughts and energy to him, got me too far behind to catch up to Shane. He won the bowling event 2-1.

Even with this setback, I was still the 2005 Backyard Border Battle champion! As my reward, Shane must provide me a beverage of my choice for a day. We will be going to Snuffy's shortly so that he can provide me with a chocolate malt. Ahhh... the chocolately taste of victory! The 2006 Battle will be starting soon with more events and more excitement. I'll still win, but keep reading to see how this year.

How Sweet it is!

The Badgers roll all over the #7 Auburn Tigers in the Capital One Bowl 24-10 in an absolute ass-whuppin'. This game frankly is on par with the Rose Bowl wins. Auburn was 10 1/2 point favorites and nobody expected this to happen. The Badgers did their best to "win one for the Barry".

The offense put up 548 yards against one of the better defensive squads in the country and the much-maligned Badger defense (that the announcers loved to point out was #100 in the country) just stuffed the vaulted Tigers offense time and time again and only allowed 236 yards of total offense for the game. Shit, Calhoun almost had more offense just by himself with his 213 yds rushing than the whole Tigers team. The defense was swarming all day. I found myself jumping around and cheering during the game like I was back in college.

Brian Calhoun, Brandon Williams (173 yds recieving) and John Stocco (301 yds passing, 135.6 QB rating) had phenominal games all. I was most impressed with Stocco. His 3rd and 7 completion to Brandon Williams for 35 yards while having 2 Tiger defenders tackling him as he threw the ball was quite possibly the best play I've seen all year. He was calm and focused the entire game.

Words cannot express how happy I was during this game, as this may game may go down as Barry's greatest achievement. Barry became the coach during my 2nd year at Madison and I saw first-hand what he did for the school and the athletic program. He brought back pride. Barry is now in the rarified air that used to be reserved for Lombardi, Starr, Taylor, Hudson and now Favre. He is a larger than life legend in the state of WI. The fact that he is will continue to be in charge of the entire Badger athletic program is simply heart-warming.

Last post of the year

Today is the last post of the year for me, I'll return sometime next year in case anyone cares. Now onto sports and someother things

Badgers
Our Badgers (ranked #24 in the AP poll and #22 in the coaches) came off their 2 week hibernation and beat the Louisiana Tech Nosepickers in a game that wasn't even as close as the final score of 78-52. All this game did was pad the stats of the Badgers. They are off to a 10-1 start and halfway to the mythical 20 wins needed to get into The Dance, which they won't have a problem making barring a meltdown of Martin Lawrence proportions. The Badger players better find their suitcases as they go to Pittsburgh for a game on New Year's Eve. Since they haven't been on the road since the loss at Wake a month ago on Nov 29th, I worry they may have lost their existing suitcases and have to buy new ones. This may lead to them getting some discounts due to who they are, and then we have Luggage-gate or something stupid like that.

Packers
Brett is supposedly talking like this is his last game. I have said all season long that I believe that this is his last season. We'll see what happens in the next month or so as I also believe that he will make a decision shortly after the Super Bowl. Brett's not going to keep the team hanging on deciding what they have to do from a FA and draft standpoint much longer than that.

The Greatest Video Clip Of The Year
Many of you probably have seen this, but I have to link to it: It's the SNL skit of The Chronic of Narnia Rap. The funniest thing I have seen SNL put out in quite a while.

Have a great New Years Everyone!

I hate thugs in the NBA

TJ Ford gets hurt last night in the Bucks loss to the Heat. He was fouled hard by James Posey and left the game after 4 minutes of play. James frickin' Posey. So one of the most exciting players in the league in Ford gets taken out of the game, and likely several more and will be affected the rest of the season because some scrub who has 8" and 40 lbs on Ford decides that he needs to foul hard. What a frickin' joke. Learn to play some defense. First Mark Madsen, career thug decides 2 years ago that he needs to knock out Ford with a hard foul and now Posey. These are 2 guys the NBA can live without. I don't want to hear about the NBA is a physical game and the players need to deal with it. There is physical play, and then there is thuggery. I got no problem with Shaq and Magloire going at it under the hoop. But hacking away at a guy driving to the hoop and airborne to stop a shot because you cannot stop him is just crap.

Time for more sports crap!

Yes, your repreive from sports is over. I certainly hope you all enjoyed The Adventures of Larry Legend, as I had an absolute blast making it. The owner of the Larry ornament, Shane, was quite pleased with the whole story and has forgiven me for stealing him. Amazing what buying a guy a Chipotle burrito will do for you.

Packers
They suck. Rodgers should play for 3 quarters on Sunday. He'll be against the Seahawks scrubs and second teamers, but it is necessary that he gets exposed to actual game experience. Next topic.

Bucks
Further proof that there is no "D" in Milwaukee, they lose to a bad Magic team. The Bucks are the 6th worst team in opponents FG% (46.3%) while being 17th in the league in making them (44.5%) themselves. They make up for this with their supurb 3 point shooting (4th in the league). Jamal Magloire hit the nail on the head with his quote after this recent game:

"I think we need to focus," said Magloire. "Do a better job of focusing. I think we're more interested in offense and scoring points than we are at stopping our man. That will catch up to us."

It did catch up to them last night. The Bucks are a good offensive team, no doubt about it as they avg 97.6 pts/game. But they give up 99.2 pts/game. You keep that up you will start losing games, and often. The Bucks make up for it with good rebounding (4th in the league, 3rd in offensive rebounds), but the D needs to improve.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode V - The Final Battle

Last time, Larry survived the Forbidden Jungle and now with the help of the Rescue Heros, he is off to save Polly. Now for the conclusion of our story (thank goodness!) in Episode V - The Final Battle.

Preparations were complete for Rhyno and Polly's wedding. Rhyno and Polly were at the beautiful wedding platform in Rhyno's fortress.

"All is set my love, as you can see the minister is here and not only that, he's the DJ as well. See how efficient and cost conscience I am." Rhyno says.

"My Larry will come for me," says Polly with obvious fear and concern in her voice, "he is my true love."

"Bah! He is dead and now nothing can stop me, Rhyno J. Cumquat from geting the girl of my dreams." Rhyno boasted.

"Your last name is Cumquat?" giggled Polly. Even the priest was stiffling a laugh.

"Shut up!" yelled an embarassed Rhyno and turns toward the priest, "Let the ceremony begin!"

"Not so fast." proclaimed a voice.

"LARRY!" squealed a joyous Polly.

Both Rhyno and Polly looked up and there was a tremendous battle going on with the Rescue Heros and the dinosaurs that were guarding the wedding platform.

"It can't be," said a dumbfounded Rhyno "how did you escape my gorgeous Nymphos?"

"Biff sacrificed himself and got them in a hot tub with beer so that I could come rescue my true love, Polly." Larry said triumphantly.

"You left gorgeous nymphos in a hot tub with beer?" Polly asked shockingly, "are you sure you're not gay? I mean, come on, that even sounds good to me..."

"Enough of that," Larry says, "it's time we had it out Rhyno. Time for the final battle."





After a back and forth battle with both combatants landing crushing blows, it was finally the basketball-quan-do skills of Larry Legend that ended the fight. The deafening "KAPOW!!" that was heard all the way to the Boston Garden (not the restaurant, the sporting facility) of his trusty Spaulding going upside of Rhyno's head ended the epic brawl.

Now Larry and Polly were together again, and all was right with the world. The birds could now sing, the flowers bloom and the rivers run.

Larry and Polly went back to their ski chalet, and to the victors go the spoils...

Credits

Written, Directed and Produced by Cheesehead Craig

Camera work by Cheesehead Craig and Rachel

Wardrobe and Art Direction by Rachel

Special Effects by Cheesehead Craig and Adam

Casting by Cheesehead Craig

Editing by Cheesehead Craig and Rachel

Set design by Cheesehead Craig and Adam

Polly Pockets represented by RachelReck, INC.

Catering by Cub Foods

This story was done on location at Cheesehead Craig's house.

No toys or Christmas ornaments were harmed in the making of this story.

All characters are fictional, any resemblance to any real person is only in your head.

This story is sole property of Cheesehead Craig, try and pass this off as your own, and I'll kick your ass.

Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you enjoyed the story, let me know.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode IV - The Forbidden Jungle

In Episode III, we witnessed Larry and Biff in their struggle against the Nymphos. Biff sacrificed himself so that Larry could continue on. Now, Larry is on his way to see King Cheekymonkey in hopes that he can help Larry save Polly.

Larry crossed the great sea with the aid of the cuddling sailors and entered the Forbidden Jungle. The Jungle was full of deadly plant life such as giant man-eating Venus fly traps and large aloe plants. As ferns and ficus flailed furiously, the former fantastic Forward flung forth fabulously.

He did not care what damage was being done to him, he only cared for one thing: a double cheeseburger. It had been a long time since he last ate and he was hungry dammit! He decided that he must rescue Polly first. Because if she found out he stopped to eat while she was held captive, then he would never hear the end of it; and frankly he really did not need that kind of hassle in his life.

While Larry was busy daydreaming about double cheeseburgers, there was a loud shout in front of him. "Halt!" boomed a voice that shook him to his bones.

Larry looked up and saw a giant nutcracker.

"In order to pass to the castle of King Cheekymonkey, you must answer a riddle," said the nutcracker. "Answer it correctly and you shall pass unharmed, answer incorrectly and I shall crack your nuts."

"I agree to your terms, giant." Larry answered boldly. "Give me your riddle so that I may answer it and move on."

"Very well, what is the name of the compound that is essential to absorbing and retaining the scented essences of potpourri?" asked the giant Nutcracker

Larry answered confidently, "Given that I minored in potpourri at Indiana State, this is easy. The answer is a fixative, such as oak moss, orris root or cellulose."

"You are correct, and you may pass," and with this the Nutcracker moved out of the way and allowed Larry to continue on to the castle of King Cheekymonkey.

Larry approached the opulent palace of King Cheekymonkey and upon his arrival, the King and Queen came out to the balcony to see what this stranger to their land wanted.

Larry told his sorrowful tale of love lost and the hardships he had endured getting to this point in his journey.

The king was agast at the tale of the Nymphos and exclaimed, "You walked away from Nymphos in a hot tub with beer? What are you whipped or something?"

The Queen joined in as well, "I agree, I would never pass that up and frankly I would be ashamed of myself had I done so."

Larry was flabergasted, "But Polly is my true love, other than basketball. Doesn't that count for anything?"

The King and Queen conferred and decided that Larry was indeed worthy of help, despite being a wuss, after all he was one of the 50 greatest players in NBA history, even though they thought Magic Johnson was better. "We shall give you the use of the Rescue Heros to aid you on your quest."


Larry was thrilled at this offer. Furthermore, the King and Queen knew of where Rhyno's fortress was. Larry jumped onto the Rescue Hero's firetruck with them and off they went to save Polly.


Will Larry be able to get to Polly in time? Does Rhyno have one last surprise for Larry? Tune in next time for the conclusion in Episode V - The Final Battle.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode III - The Temptation

When we last left our heros, Larry and Biff were captured by Rhyno and were under attack by his seductive Nymphos. We continue with our story in Episode III - The Temptation.

Larry was helpless to the Nymphos attacks, his confidence already shaken by Rhyno's claims that Magic Johnson was a better basketball player, he was easy prey to the attention and affection the Nymphos gave to him.

Not only that, but the Nymphos were attracted to him as well. After all, what woman doesn't want a 6' 9"Midwestern, pasty-skinned, gangly man with a pathetic porn-star moustache?

"Oooo Larry, you're such a manly man," crooned the Nymphos as their hypnotic perfumes and poisonous kisses further weakened Larry.

"Magic never had this many women at one time," moaned Larry.

Biff could see that his friend was fading fast and he was as well starting to fall under their wicked spell. Biff then saw their salvation.

"Hey ladies," Biff called out, "care to join me for some cold beers in the hot tub?"

The Nymphos squealed with delight and ran to the hot tub, throwing off their clothes. Biff knew that no self-respecting Nympho could resist free beer and a hot tub.

As Larry came to, he saw Biff in the hot tub.

"Save Polly, I'll handle the Nymphos," Biff called out.

Larry stumbled out of the hideout, weakened by his encounter with the Nymphos and sad over the sacrifice of his friend.

"He sacrificed himself and took on all those Nymphos just to save me. Wait a minute, he's in a hot tub with 5 gorgeous Nymphos! That baaaassstarrrrddd....." Larry then collapsed as the poison from the Nymphos kisses was too much for him.

Larry came to a while later, surrounded by what appeared to be giant Care Bears in a bed.

"Where am I?" Larry asks.

"You are safe now, we all took turns holding and cuddling you during the night while helping the poison leave your body."

Larry felt a little uneasy looking at the Bears with their knowing looks at him as he wondered how they helped the poison leave his body. Suddenly he remembered Polly, and he told the Bears about his plight.

"We know someone who can help, King Cheekymonkey and his wife, the Queen. However, to get to them, you need to go across the great sea and through the Forbidden Jungle to their castle. We know of some sailors that can take you across the sea, they stop here when they need some cuddling after being at sea for so long.

Again, Larry felt uneasy about the Bears' knowing looks at each other and him. But Larry knew he had no other choice than to go with the sailors.

So Larry sets sail across the sea to the Forbidden Jungle to meet King Cheekymonkey in hopes that he can help Larry rescue his beloved Polly.

What dangers await Larry in the Forbidden Jungle? Will he be able to rescue Polly in time? How worried should Larry be about being on a boat with sailors who cuddle with giant Care Bears? Tune in next time for Episode IV - The Forbidden Jungle.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode II - The Chase Begins

Previously on The Adventures of Larry Legend, the evil Rhyno had abducted Polly in an effort to claim her for his own. After Larry and Polly's brother, Biff Pockabill, fended off Rhyno's henchmen, they discover where Rhyno's hideout is. Now on to Episode II - The Chase Begins.

Larry and Biff, acting upon the info Biff was able to extract from one of the henchmen, proceed to the nearest train station to catch the train to MegaBlockville, where Rhyno's hideout is located.

Biff informs Larry "The schedule says the train is leaving shortly, Larry. Let's get inside and purchase some tickets."

"When I get a hold of Rhyno," says Larry boldly, "I'm going to give him a one-way ticket to Knuckle Sandwichville."

"Dude," says Biff, "you gotta work on your one-liners. Now move those big, plodding feet of yours or we'll miss the train."

Biff and Larry enter the train station and as they get up to the counter, a large net is dropped over them.

"It's an ambush Larry!" yells Biff.

Biff and Larry struggle valiantly, but the net only tightens around them.

"Struggle all you want," says one of Rhyno's henchmen, "you have no chance of getting out of this onion bag."

"Where's Rhyno?" demands Larry, his eyes stinging from the onion scent still inside the netting, "What have you done with Polly?"

"Shut up," says the henchmen, "Since you want to see the boss so bad, we'll take you to him, but be careful what you wish for. As for your dear Polly, he's got plans for her." The henchmen all laugh confidently as they load our heros onto the train and take them to Rhyno's hideout.

When they arrive at Rhyno's hideout, the henchmen drag Larry and Biff in front of Rhyno.

"Well, well, well Larry, I will say this for you, you are persistant," says Rhyno "but this is the end of the line for you and your little friend."

"The name's Biff." Biff states boldly.

"What have you done with Polly?" demands Larry.

"Don't worry about Polly, Larry, I'll take gooood care of her. You know what they say, once you go Rhyno, you never go back."

"I thought it was 'once you go Rhyno, you can't get the stench off you'. Let's settle this like men, on the basketball court, you freak!" screamed Larry.

"Ha! As much as I would love to school you, I have other matters to attend to, namely my wedding to Polly. Oh, and by the way, Magic Johnson was a better basketball player than you." Rhyno said smiling knowing Larry's biggest fear is that of Magic.

"Take that back!" yelled Larry, sweating under the uncomfortable truth of Rhyno's words.

"You know it's true, not only was he a better basketball player, plus he also is a successful businessman and had his own talk show as well. Which is way more than you'll ever accomplish. Now, prepare to meet your end at the hands (so to speak) of my Nymphos! Bwahh hah hah! Farewell Larry and Larry's little friend!"

Biff yells out "The name's Biff!"

Suddenly, saxophone music starts to play.

"Oh, hello Biff," says a seductive voice. "You do look so strong and handsome, I cannot wait to do such... naughty things to you."

Biff and Larry are then set upon by the Nymphos. Biff and Larry are instantly smitten by these vixens. Will they be able to resist their powers of seduction? How will they ever find where Rhyno has hidden Polly? What the hell is that pink crap Larry is standing in? Tune in next time for Episode III - The Temptation.

The Adventures of Larry Legend: Episode 1 -- The Abduction

As promised, no sports this week, instead I bring you The Adventures of Larry Legend. My neighbor Shane has a prized Christmas ornament of Larry "Legend" Bird on his tree. While Shane is away in Florida this week, I'm describing what kind of week Larry has had. Please note, you can click on the pictures to see the enlarged version of them, it's well worth doing. So, without further ado... Episode One: The Abduction.


We begin our story with Larry Legend and his fiancee, Polly Pockets off on a romantic ski vacation. Larry grew up in the midwest, and as such, winter does not even phase him, thus he does not need winter clothes, just his trademark Boston Cetlic jersey.

"Oh Larry, it's such a beautiful day for skiing isn't it?" says a love-struck Polly Pockets to Larry.

"Can you see a basketball court? I'm really itching for a game," Larry replies.

But what's this? It's the dastardly Rhyno behind them. He covets Polly more than anything, including deodorant, which is why he has to approch them from downwind.

While Larry is preoccupied with trying to locate a basketball court (because after all, 6' 9" men were not meant to ski and look goofy trying to do so), Rhyno pounces upon Polly.

"Larry!!" she screams as Rhyno carries her away.

Larry turns around to see his love being carried away by his arch-nemesis Rhyno. However, four of Rhyno's henchmen are in his way and things look bleak, even for one of the greatest players in NBA history.




Fortunately for Larry Legend, he is not alone. Polly's brother, Biff Pockabill (in the red hat and works at the ski resort), upon hearing his sister's cry for help has come to rescue her.

Seeing that he does indeed have backup, Larry goes on the offensive and uses his world famous basketball-quan-do martial arts training.

"It's time to show these boys how we handle thugs, French Lick style. " (this is a reference to Larry's home town of French Lick, IN and is NOT a homosexual reference, not that there is anything wrong with that)

A loud KAPOW!! can be heard upon his trusty Spaulding basketball hitting the head of the henchman. Larry and Biff make quick work of Rhyno's henchmen. However, in the fracas, Rhyno has escaped. Biff is able to get the location of Rhyno's hideout from one of the men.





Can Larry and Biff find Rhyno's hideout and save Polly Pockets? What dastardly plans does Rhyno have in store for our heros? Tune in next time for Episode II: The Chase Begins.


Edit: the comments section is back up, sorry about that.

Last day of sports for a week

The Journal Sentinel reports that the Packers are working on a multi-year deal with Aaron Kampman. He has definately had his best season and is worthy of a big contract. He is not overpowering, but he is quick, has great instincts and works his ass off. The article goes on to say that the rest of the DL have labeled him the most consistent lineman, which is outstanding. He has stepped up his pass rushing ability and should continue his improvement next season.

The Badgers won last night in a close one to UW-Milwaukee 74-68 to improve to 9-1 for the season. The Badgers are currently ranked #24 in the coaches poll, and are knocking on the door in the AP poll. For a team that wasn't expected to do much, they are certainly making some noise early in the season. The real fun is going to start at the beginning of the year when the Big 10 season starts. They will have #22 Iowa and #12 Mich St at home then on the road at MN, which is a tough way to start the Big 10 season, but these guys are looking to be up to the task.

In response to my title of this post, next week there will be no sports on this site. I am going to have a little something different for next week that I've been working on that I hope you all will like. I'll leave you with that teaser over the weekend. Come back Monday and see what's in store.

I got 8 inches

And I love it. There are some that don't like that much, but luckily my wife is not one of them. She enjoys it tremendously, how it looks and how much fun it is to play with. I just love the smile it brings to her face and how excited she gets when she sees it. True, it is a lot of work and after taking care of it, we both are sore and tired as it usually takes up to an hour or so. We gotta be careful as we don't want to injure ourselves in dealing with all of it. Nevertheless, last night we both had a lot of fun with the 8 inches.

I'm talking about the snow we got last night, what were you thinking about?

Another reason I won't pay for the Packer Insider

For those of you who do not know, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel has a section of their online paper called the Packer Insider. In order to see these articles about the Packers, you have to pay either a monthly or annual fee. To me, this is a total crock and blatant ripoff of Packer fans. It's not like these articles are written by nationally acclaimed writers that have info in them you cannot get anywhere else. These are the same guys that write about the other WI sports teams. One of these writers is Tom Silverstein. He laments in yesterday's article that the Packers latest win gets them further from Reggie Bush in the draft. He then states the following:

Mark the date: Dec. 11, 2005.

It could become as infamous in Green Bay Packers history as Dec. 18, 1988.
That fateful day 17 years ago was when the Packers beat the Phoenix Cardinals, 26-17, thus relinquishing the first pick in the National Football League draft to the Dallas Cowboys on the final day of the season.

All it cost the Packers was future Hall of Fame quarterback Troy Aikman, who went first to the Cowboys, leaving the Packers to make their ill-fated choice of offensive lineman Tony Mandarich with the No. 2 pick.

So according to Tom, the Packers screwed the pooch in winning a game and then getting stuck with having to trade for Favre instead of getting Aikman. Are you kidding me? What a hack. Yes, the Packers got one of the top busts of all time in Mandarich, but is he saying that it was a mistake to get Favre instead of Aikman? If so, then he needs to go write for the losers in Dallas and get the hell out of WI.

But it's not only Tom, oh no, it's also Cliff "I have no brain" Christl in this gloom-and-doom-woe-is-me mood. Cliff's column is entitled "Packers won't be Super next year without Bush". Give me a frickin' break. So they are writing off next season already because we likely will not get a player who may or may not come out (ok, he probably will, but still).

Umm, we still have the November offensive player of the month in Gado right? Sure, criticize him for being an undrafted FA, but so was Priest Holmes and somehow I don't think anyone was saying how the Chiefs needed to upgrade at RB. Is Gado as good as Holmes, don't know, but he's got a heck of a good start.

You cannot sit and lament about who you could have had in the draft, it will drive you nuts. Every draft there are players that are hyped that everyone drools over. Sometimes they work out, sometimes they don't. If Bush decides to hold out of camp and be a problem child with his contract, then comes in right before the season and hurts his knee (a la Kellen Winslow Jr.), then these guys will all be saying how the Packers were smart in not wasting a pick on Bush. By not getting Bush, the Packers can shore up areas that need more help than RB, like LB and DL (pass rushers would be extremely helpful) and make the team better. You remember that concept that the Patriots have used to win 3 of the last 4 SBs, don't you?

Would you pay for garbage like this? I wouldn't either.

From way downtown

The Bucks last night beat the New York Knickerblunders 112-92 for their 6th win in the last 7 games. That's a 20 point whoppin' ladies and gentlemen. This is on the team that the great Larry Brown is coaching. The Knicks were hyped in the preseason as possibly back on the rise thanks to the great Brown coming to coach them. Guess what? The Knicks stink. The Bucks beat a bad team how they were supposed to, and at New York nonetheless. The Bucks shot 63.2% from 3 point range... hold up, 63% from downtown? Not only do teams have to worry about the inside play of their big men, and contend with the leagues #3 rebounding team (#2 in rebounding differential), but teams also have to guard the perimeter on a team that for the season shoots 43% from 3 point land (#1 in the league by the way)? Forget about it! Gadz had another outstanding night with 18 points in 18 minutes (take that Lebron). Looking forward to the Bucks with home court advantage in the first round of the playoffs.

Jump For Joy

This is a scene that I could definately get used to seeing. The Packers celebrating a huge goal line stand in the 4th Q as Grady Jackson (the big 75) led the charge as they stoned 3 straight runs into the endzone on the game changing series of plays. Both Carroll (28) and Collins (36) not only had good games, but very good seasons. This stand was indicative of how the defense has played all season, tough. After a shaky first quarter where they gave up 13 points, with 10 of those given up after a turnover and special teams meltdown, and 96 yards of offense, they settled down and gave up 0 points and 145 yards over the final 3 quarters.

Samkon Gado was fantastic with 171 yards and a touchdown and the game saving shovel pass in the 4th Q that prevented a safety. Reggie Bush? We don't need no stinking Reggie Bush! Gado has proven that he can be an NFL starting RB. I'd be just fine with LB AJ Hawk, thank you very much.

Bucks
A tough win against the otherworldly Lebron James on Saturday night 111-106 where "The Chosen One" scored 52 points. Look at that for a second, 52 of the 106 points were scored by one player. Frankly, I'm glad that the Bucks do not have a player that can do this. You may think I'm nuts, but the Bucks have built a TEAM versus going with the one incredible player. Only one other Cav scored double digit points in the game (Ilgauskas had 20) and that to me is a detriment to the overall success of the team. The Bucks on the other hand had 5 players in double digits, not to mention Magloire pulling down 15 boards (nobody on the Cavs had a particularly good game on the glass). The Bucks have a good team that is learning how to win with everybody contributing in clutch situations, whereas the Cavs just have one superstar player that can dominate a game, but the rest of his teammates don't know how to help him and cannot be counted on down the stretch as they are too busy watching LeBron.

An Ode to Chuck Norris

Here are 15 things that you may not have known about America's most manly man, Chuck Norris.

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
4. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
5. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
7. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
8. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after this all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
9. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
10. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
11. Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
12. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
13. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
14. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
15. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck.

Melvin is a stud, and other items

The Brewers were very active at the Winter meetings this year so far with the long-expected
trade of Lyle Overbay. The Brewers get a solid SP in Dave Bush and 2 very good minor league prospects in highly touted Zach Jackson and Gabe Gross. Not only did Melvin make this move, but he also brings back Danny Kolb in a trade with Atlanta with giving up Wes Obermueller (thank goodnes). Kolb wilted under the pressure in Atlanta last season and thus they were willing to part with him for a player that the Brewers did not really need (or want). Kolb has a solid shot at regaining most of his form and success that he had with the Brewers 2 years ago, but this time he will be the setup man for Turnbow. The triumverate of Capellan, Kolb and Turnbow is a quite sweet one to have to finish games.

I'm positively thrilled at how good of a GM Melvin is. The Brewers are truly blessed to have a man like him in charge combined with an owner like Attanasio who is willing to build a winner and stay the hell out of the way of the people who can make it happen. For the best analysis on these deals, pop over to Al's Ramblings, who is IMO, the godfather of Brewers blogging.

Bucks
Well, one night after putting up their worst showing of the season, at home nonetheless, they go to Philly and put together one of their better ones against the 76ers in an 88-85 win. Huge buckets and FT down the stretch and capitalizing on the Sixers mistakes were key in the last 2 minutes. Magloire was a monster with 14 boards and Bogut had a much improved night with 8 boards, 6 assists, 3 steals, 3 blocks with his 6 points, but his last 2 points were a putback with 10 seconds left to give the Bucks the lead. He didn't score much, but did everything else right. The Three Amigos at guard: Redd, Williams and Ford combine for 52 points, 10 assists and 14 rebounds; just a fantastic backcourt. The Bucks are in 3rd place in the toughest division in basketball with a 10-7 record.

Badgers beat UW-GB 82-62 last night to improve to 6-1. They should not lose any more games prior to the Big 10 season starting. That's when things should get interesting.